'Tis the season to get married...
Well, another one bites the dust. As of today, another female friend of mine is engaged to be married.
And all I can think of is, are we really getting this old?
This now makes... over ten people I know who are now married or engaged. Some unions I approve of- I know the couple involved, the two have known each other for years or have dated for a few. Then there are other engagements I hear about that just make me think there is something in the water, something that drives young people mad and sets delusions in their heads that make them believe if they do not meet someone to marry in college, then they will be single for the rest of their lives. I know people who are engaged that haven't even been together a year. I know a couple that got engaged only four months after meeting each other.
Doesn't that sound a little strange? Or am I this pessimistic about love now?
This latest engagement just strikes me as odd because now that this particular girl is engaged, it leaves only one female that I've been involved with who remains single.
Courtney? ENGAGED.
Nicolette? ENGAGED.
Kelly? RECENTLY ENGAGED.
Granted, I never dated those first two, but they were pretty big crushes in high school, and everyone thought we were going to date, and everyone thought we should date, and I swear sometimes it felt like we were close to dating, and God knows in high school it certainly feels like that girl is the only one for you at that time. Now, Kelly I dated senior year, and she's the newly engaged girl I was telling you about. Maybe that's why it feels weird, because she and I were actually together.
Or maybe it feels weird because that only leaves Cristina now as the one girl I've dated or liked a whole heck of a lot who remains single. Just one girl left.
So, can anyone shed some light into this mystery of mine? Do many of you feel you're in the right place in life to get married? Those of you that desire it, is there some fear that drives you into wanting to get married soon, some dread that tells you getting married is playing it safe? Do most of you feel that you really won't meet anyone else in life after this?
I sometimes forget most of our elders married young, around 18-21. Heck, my mom and dad had me at 23, and now that I'm rapidly approaching that age, I just feel weird.
I don't know. "That's just my interpretation. Of the situation."
--Cbake
And all I can think of is, are we really getting this old?
This now makes... over ten people I know who are now married or engaged. Some unions I approve of- I know the couple involved, the two have known each other for years or have dated for a few. Then there are other engagements I hear about that just make me think there is something in the water, something that drives young people mad and sets delusions in their heads that make them believe if they do not meet someone to marry in college, then they will be single for the rest of their lives. I know people who are engaged that haven't even been together a year. I know a couple that got engaged only four months after meeting each other.
Doesn't that sound a little strange? Or am I this pessimistic about love now?
This latest engagement just strikes me as odd because now that this particular girl is engaged, it leaves only one female that I've been involved with who remains single.
Courtney? ENGAGED.
Nicolette? ENGAGED.
Kelly? RECENTLY ENGAGED.
Granted, I never dated those first two, but they were pretty big crushes in high school, and everyone thought we were going to date, and everyone thought we should date, and I swear sometimes it felt like we were close to dating, and God knows in high school it certainly feels like that girl is the only one for you at that time. Now, Kelly I dated senior year, and she's the newly engaged girl I was telling you about. Maybe that's why it feels weird, because she and I were actually together.
Or maybe it feels weird because that only leaves Cristina now as the one girl I've dated or liked a whole heck of a lot who remains single. Just one girl left.
So, can anyone shed some light into this mystery of mine? Do many of you feel you're in the right place in life to get married? Those of you that desire it, is there some fear that drives you into wanting to get married soon, some dread that tells you getting married is playing it safe? Do most of you feel that you really won't meet anyone else in life after this?
I sometimes forget most of our elders married young, around 18-21. Heck, my mom and dad had me at 23, and now that I'm rapidly approaching that age, I just feel weird.
I don't know. "That's just my interpretation. Of the situation."
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 8:38 PM
10 Comments:
Yeah, you really are getting that old. Well, not old, but at least old enough to have hit the marrying age. It's true! Imagine how I feel, I went home for fall break and found out four of my classmates were engaged. Even more are on their way to getting engaged, meaning they probably will be in the next six months...i think it's ridiculous considering my class is only 20 or 21 years old! When girls see all their friends getting engaged, seriously, it really does cause panic. I don't know WHY but it does, I'm even starting to get anxious to meet Mr. Right myself. And I think a LOT of girls envision themselves getting married after they graduate from college, for most it seems like the next logical step. Anyway, there's my opinion, hope you're doing well!
-Meredith (stokes)
hey u may be all alone but dont forget that ur family loves u more and then one day u r going to be the one getting married. Yes what fun yeah i dont have anymore but ur at my house now byce bryce
I called my ex-girlfriend, who I hadn't spoken to in 4 years, just to see how she was doing. We dated in high school and as with all first loves, they never completely fade. So I tracked her down, half out of boredom, half on behalf of fond memories, which splits that into some sorta fraction I cant even count...But anyway, she is married now. Kinda took me by surprise only because I am so far from wedding bells and flying rice myself. But she is a small-town kinda girl, didn’t go to college and now works in a salon. I hate to say this, but I think she didn’t see much else for her life but marriage. I think the majority of women I knew in college want a career and want to be successful just as much if not more than they want to get married right away. Long comment short, it depends on where you come from and it certainly seems that more women are ok waiting longer than their parents because of education and careerism. And if you don’t believe that, maybe its 'cause the career girls are just ugly and no one wants to marry them...Ha!
-Matt Eagle
I think your social commentary is highly interesting on the topic for marriage. However, the reasoning you give may be slightly slanted. The idea of growing up in itself is highly scary for most people. No longer are our parents the pillars they once might have been and life's direction is fairly unstable when many reach this age. I do not believe marriage for these young persons is driven by the social norms, but instead the need in the eyes of many is the search for stability. In a time when job security is uncertain, health is taken for granted, and friends are moving away, everyone searches and clings to something which gives some solid something in life, which for many is a serious relationship. By watching people find this type of security in marriage, can be highly persuasive for those who are seeking out solid things in life. The domino effect is thus incurred by insecurity, latching people to the first person they may be able to find who will have them, not neccessarily those who are suited. The idea of marrying the wrong person leads me into dying an old maid. Maybe I am being swayed by my bad luck in love. Let me know what you think.
-Jennie Broders
You know what's worse. Baby Showers. Seriously. After already having gone to the wedding and stuff cause it's not just mischance single mums, it's planned parenting. And you get the question as you sit with your gift of a onesie (whatever they're called) from Baby Gap, about so, "When are you going to settle down? You're graduating in less than a year all those boys your age will move elsewhere." Did you ever see that looney tunes cartoon where the chicken takes a rolling bin to go, "husband hunting" the rolling pin is to bop them on the head, once she finds them. I feel like they're practically handing me the rolling pin. But I don't feel old enough to get married, have kids, a mortgage. And I don't want to be married, have kids, or a mortgage. -Linz (taking a cue from anonymous my ass, cute Dave, cute)
Jennie,
I think you're right. I agree that some levels of insecurity and the need for stability do drive some women into considering marriage early. I wonder if many of these girls hadn't even considered marriage at all until their boyfriend asked. Afterall, at least one girl I know told me she didn't want to get back with her ex-boyfriend (they were broken up at the time). But then he proposed and now she's engaged to him. So what does that say?
PS: You won't die an old maid.
Guess what, Cbake? I'm engaged too! =) But don't worry... I still love you. Leigh
Marriage sucks and so do kids. Am I speaking from experience? Hell no. But I've only had one "boyfriend" and that was back in high school. Of course he's engaged now. The last "thing" I had or well person I had a "thing" for just got deployed...basically married to the military. It all sucks, I'm 22 but at least my mother didn't have me until she was 34 and my older brother at 26, so I don't feel too bad being "un-engaged." I like being single and I don't see myself married anytime soon, not because I can't find anyone to get on one knee, but because I refuse to settle.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), "On Reading and Writing"
I am with you on the sudden engagement quandry that seems to saturate friends once they hit that 21-and-older mark. It's like, we were just getting shitty and now you're getting married?? Bummer. Personal rant coming up - and weddings are really expensive for supportive friends, I might add, especially bridesmaids.
Where is the middle-ground, that gray area of adulthood and optimism that is supposed to be relished? I'm in law school, where the marriage bug is going around big time. Once the idea of impending professionalism is in the air, it seems like us young adults feel the need to "begin a new chapter in life." Which for whatever reason connotes a certain ring being placed on a certain finger. It all seems to tie into this unrational fear of being alone mixed with the unknown, impending future. Why can't we just enjoy our time not being tied down? Honestly, once you start a family and get a career, that's pretty much it as far as new life experiences go. So why rush? It certainly is a question for the ages.
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