"Juice me."
--Crank
I just got back from seeing "Crank", a pumped up, steroid-ridden action film starring Jason Statham that looks like it was written and directed by someone who played "Grand Theft Auto" one too many times while on a 12 day coke-bender.
And I liked it.
Seriously, it's one of the most whacked out films I've ever seen, and that applies across the board: the insane story, the hectic directing, the dialogue, the over-the-top action scenes, the bats**t crazy editing. If "Requiem For a Dream" is the somber, emo-music listening, depressed artist in the family that locks himself in his room on weekends, this is the coked-out older brother action film that goes out on friday nights and doesn't return until sunday at 8 PM, just in time to watch "The Simpsons", and still wearing the same clothes he left in.
And I had a blast watching it. The adrenaline laced opening act was like the cinematic equivalent of a few lines of coke, I imagine. This is truly a film for the guys. It's got guns, car chases, fight scenes, sex, random humor, nudity, Amy Smart...
It's a live action video game, and the opening credits, with the title thrown across the screen in the blocky, pixellated fashion of an Atari game from the '80s with bright flashing lights, tells you you're about to go for a ride, baby. Satellite images from Google Maps zoom around the L.A. area and into the next location our hero is about to visit, the name of the "next level" thrown onscreen in big red letters. When our hero kills an enemy, he picks up their guns and ammo. Like the character in "Grand Theft Auto" he steals cars, causes accidents, goes on police chases, and then hides until the heat dies down. The only thing missing was a little window in the upper right-hand screen telling us how many points he has.
Stay through all the credits for a treat at the very end, the "video game" version of the movie in which our hero shoots gunmen (who disappear when they die) and gets "power-ups" that allow him to go into "RAMPAGE" mode. It's like Mario finding the Super Star that makes him invincible. Then it's all "GAME OVER" and "INSERT ANOTHER COIN TO CONTINUE".
Oh, and in case you don't know exactly what this film is about, this is all you need to know: Jason Statham plays a hitman who gets injected with a synthetic poison, and adrenaline is the only thing that can slow its progress through the bloodstream. If he stops or slows down- he dies. Boom, that's it, and the insanity begins.
I feel a little worn out now that I think about it. It's like I'm coming down from an adrenaline rush myself.
--Cbake
I just got back from seeing "Crank", a pumped up, steroid-ridden action film starring Jason Statham that looks like it was written and directed by someone who played "Grand Theft Auto" one too many times while on a 12 day coke-bender.
And I liked it.
Seriously, it's one of the most whacked out films I've ever seen, and that applies across the board: the insane story, the hectic directing, the dialogue, the over-the-top action scenes, the bats**t crazy editing. If "Requiem For a Dream" is the somber, emo-music listening, depressed artist in the family that locks himself in his room on weekends, this is the coked-out older brother action film that goes out on friday nights and doesn't return until sunday at 8 PM, just in time to watch "The Simpsons", and still wearing the same clothes he left in.
And I had a blast watching it. The adrenaline laced opening act was like the cinematic equivalent of a few lines of coke, I imagine. This is truly a film for the guys. It's got guns, car chases, fight scenes, sex, random humor, nudity, Amy Smart...
It's a live action video game, and the opening credits, with the title thrown across the screen in the blocky, pixellated fashion of an Atari game from the '80s with bright flashing lights, tells you you're about to go for a ride, baby. Satellite images from Google Maps zoom around the L.A. area and into the next location our hero is about to visit, the name of the "next level" thrown onscreen in big red letters. When our hero kills an enemy, he picks up their guns and ammo. Like the character in "Grand Theft Auto" he steals cars, causes accidents, goes on police chases, and then hides until the heat dies down. The only thing missing was a little window in the upper right-hand screen telling us how many points he has.
Stay through all the credits for a treat at the very end, the "video game" version of the movie in which our hero shoots gunmen (who disappear when they die) and gets "power-ups" that allow him to go into "RAMPAGE" mode. It's like Mario finding the Super Star that makes him invincible. Then it's all "GAME OVER" and "INSERT ANOTHER COIN TO CONTINUE".
Oh, and in case you don't know exactly what this film is about, this is all you need to know: Jason Statham plays a hitman who gets injected with a synthetic poison, and adrenaline is the only thing that can slow its progress through the bloodstream. If he stops or slows down- he dies. Boom, that's it, and the insanity begins.
I feel a little worn out now that I think about it. It's like I'm coming down from an adrenaline rush myself.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 9:39 PM
2 Comments:
Check your spelling ...Satellite
Oy, thank you for helping me out. I missed that one. I'll pretend like I knew the correct spelling from the getgo.
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