"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV..."
--The Simpsons
Movie Production Update #11
Sorry guys, but today I am an actor.
Do not come up to me with questions about the set. Do not come to me and ask me to reset the props. Do not come and ask for a favor, like locking down the streets, shutting off the air conditioning for sound, or taking actors to and from wardrobe, because frankly, that's not my department.
In fact, don't even look me in the eye.
So as I mentioned in the last update, wednesday was our last day of shooting. The biggest scene we shot involved one in which some young, drunk punks drive up to this shack at the swamp in their pickup truck, bash in the mailbox with a baseball bat, and then beat up "The General", the old war veteran hermit who lives there and confronts the gang with his shotgun in the middle of the night.
Well we had our two actors play the main punks, and two PAs from Elon were supposed to come back that night to play the rest of the gang. But they never showed.
So who does the director look to to fill the scene? Who shall step up and rise to the challenge?
Why, Chris Baker, Set Decorator, Master Thespian, Acclaimed Artist, and all around nice guy, that's who!
(though actually I think it had more to do with the fact that I was closest to the required wardrobe, working in a white t-shirt and jeans)
So they throw a redneck, sleeveless, yellow flannel vest over my shirt and gave me a bandana to wear over my mouth. Then we rehearsed the scene in which the pickup truck drives up to the shack and I stand in the back of the truck bed, baseball bat at the ready, and just beat the sh*t out of the mailbox as we swerve past it.
Eight or nine times we did this. I stand in the back of the truck, wait for the AD (assistant director) to call action over the walkie-talkie, then I hit the top of the old Chevy truck to alert the actor up front to start driving. He can't drive this old truck well, so he shoots off in a burst of speed, I lose my balance, then try and compose myself as we drive up to the mailbox, but then he slows down and veers away (so he can stop the car at the proper mark), so now I have to stretch myself out to hit the bat, and to make matters worse, because of camera placement, I have to swing left-handed. Needless to say, it was very awkward.
But I never struck out, and by the end of the shoot the prop mailbox was pretty much a dead mailbox. I mean the bottome was falling off and there were huge dents everywhere. People who couldn't see the scene were scared just from the sound I had made each time I connected.
After we stop the truck, we continue the scene in which the General steps onto his porch and cocks his shotgun. The actors yell taunts to him, saying he can't call the police bc he doesn't own a phone, and maybe he uses smoke signals, and I just swing my bat around threateningly and point it at him. The General comes down, confronts Brock (the main thug), walks to the truck, and then bashes out the headlights.
Brock reaches for my bat and I hand it to him, then I hand another bat to the other punk. We circle around the General, yell taunts, and when he's not looking, Brock cocks the bat and swings it at the General's head.
Mark yells cut, the actor playing the General steps out, and then we resume the scene in which we are beating the General as he lies on the ground (in reality, bc of the angle, the actor is out of the scene and we are beating air).
Brock beats him with the bat. I kick him hard in the face. And the driver pours out his beer all over the guy. Then I take the bat, we jump back in the truck, and bc I'm in the back, I do a bit of improvisation and beat the top of the truck in a "Let's get outta here" sorta way.
Now the tricky thing about this scene is that I am not allowed to say any lines. Because this is a Screen Actors' Guild picture, any person who has a line MUST be paid (according to the Taft-Hartley rule I believe). So I was told specifically not to say anything or the production would go bankrupt. But it feels so unnatural to not yell any taunts and insults to the General or anything, and we can only do so few takes for each shot, but I want my part to be believable and at the same time I don't want to run over the actors' lines...
So what do I do? I bark. And growl. And howl. Yeah, I guess I became that guy in the gang that is incapable of rational communication. You know the type, you've seen them before in movies. I don't get a one-liner, I don't get an insult to toss. I get to bark.
"AARRRGH!"
Yeah, you hear it- that's me.
The great thing is, since I bash in the mailbox, I CAN'T be cut! Earlier this week the entire art department (all three of us) played extras in a shot in which we are hanging up a sign for the town celebration. Later in the day, we shot another scene in which we wave to the actor who plays Brock as he runs past us.
This is great because now there is subtext to the scene. I am waving to Brock not only because he's the local baseball star, but because I was with him when we beat up the General in the earlier scene. So my character needs backstory. In my mind, I am Brock's friend from high school who dropped out and now, depressingly and begrudgingly, hangs up signs at town functions.
Brilliant, eh?
I've already worn so many other hats on this production: Set Decorator, Props Master, I've helped out on sound and locked down streets, why not add ACTOR to that list of credits?
So now, when "Dog Days" comes out next year, expect to see me as:
Set Decorator - Chris Baker
Mailbox Thug - Chris Baker
Sign Hanger - Chris Baker
Boo yah, I'm a triple threat.
--Cbake
Movie Production Update #11
Sorry guys, but today I am an actor.
Do not come up to me with questions about the set. Do not come to me and ask me to reset the props. Do not come and ask for a favor, like locking down the streets, shutting off the air conditioning for sound, or taking actors to and from wardrobe, because frankly, that's not my department.
In fact, don't even look me in the eye.
So as I mentioned in the last update, wednesday was our last day of shooting. The biggest scene we shot involved one in which some young, drunk punks drive up to this shack at the swamp in their pickup truck, bash in the mailbox with a baseball bat, and then beat up "The General", the old war veteran hermit who lives there and confronts the gang with his shotgun in the middle of the night.
Well we had our two actors play the main punks, and two PAs from Elon were supposed to come back that night to play the rest of the gang. But they never showed.
So who does the director look to to fill the scene? Who shall step up and rise to the challenge?
Why, Chris Baker, Set Decorator, Master Thespian, Acclaimed Artist, and all around nice guy, that's who!
(though actually I think it had more to do with the fact that I was closest to the required wardrobe, working in a white t-shirt and jeans)
So they throw a redneck, sleeveless, yellow flannel vest over my shirt and gave me a bandana to wear over my mouth. Then we rehearsed the scene in which the pickup truck drives up to the shack and I stand in the back of the truck bed, baseball bat at the ready, and just beat the sh*t out of the mailbox as we swerve past it.
Eight or nine times we did this. I stand in the back of the truck, wait for the AD (assistant director) to call action over the walkie-talkie, then I hit the top of the old Chevy truck to alert the actor up front to start driving. He can't drive this old truck well, so he shoots off in a burst of speed, I lose my balance, then try and compose myself as we drive up to the mailbox, but then he slows down and veers away (so he can stop the car at the proper mark), so now I have to stretch myself out to hit the bat, and to make matters worse, because of camera placement, I have to swing left-handed. Needless to say, it was very awkward.
But I never struck out, and by the end of the shoot the prop mailbox was pretty much a dead mailbox. I mean the bottome was falling off and there were huge dents everywhere. People who couldn't see the scene were scared just from the sound I had made each time I connected.
After we stop the truck, we continue the scene in which the General steps onto his porch and cocks his shotgun. The actors yell taunts to him, saying he can't call the police bc he doesn't own a phone, and maybe he uses smoke signals, and I just swing my bat around threateningly and point it at him. The General comes down, confronts Brock (the main thug), walks to the truck, and then bashes out the headlights.
Brock reaches for my bat and I hand it to him, then I hand another bat to the other punk. We circle around the General, yell taunts, and when he's not looking, Brock cocks the bat and swings it at the General's head.
Mark yells cut, the actor playing the General steps out, and then we resume the scene in which we are beating the General as he lies on the ground (in reality, bc of the angle, the actor is out of the scene and we are beating air).
Brock beats him with the bat. I kick him hard in the face. And the driver pours out his beer all over the guy. Then I take the bat, we jump back in the truck, and bc I'm in the back, I do a bit of improvisation and beat the top of the truck in a "Let's get outta here" sorta way.
Now the tricky thing about this scene is that I am not allowed to say any lines. Because this is a Screen Actors' Guild picture, any person who has a line MUST be paid (according to the Taft-Hartley rule I believe). So I was told specifically not to say anything or the production would go bankrupt. But it feels so unnatural to not yell any taunts and insults to the General or anything, and we can only do so few takes for each shot, but I want my part to be believable and at the same time I don't want to run over the actors' lines...
So what do I do? I bark. And growl. And howl. Yeah, I guess I became that guy in the gang that is incapable of rational communication. You know the type, you've seen them before in movies. I don't get a one-liner, I don't get an insult to toss. I get to bark.
"AARRRGH!"
Yeah, you hear it- that's me.
The great thing is, since I bash in the mailbox, I CAN'T be cut! Earlier this week the entire art department (all three of us) played extras in a shot in which we are hanging up a sign for the town celebration. Later in the day, we shot another scene in which we wave to the actor who plays Brock as he runs past us.
This is great because now there is subtext to the scene. I am waving to Brock not only because he's the local baseball star, but because I was with him when we beat up the General in the earlier scene. So my character needs backstory. In my mind, I am Brock's friend from high school who dropped out and now, depressingly and begrudgingly, hangs up signs at town functions.
Brilliant, eh?
I've already worn so many other hats on this production: Set Decorator, Props Master, I've helped out on sound and locked down streets, why not add ACTOR to that list of credits?
So now, when "Dog Days" comes out next year, expect to see me as:
Set Decorator - Chris Baker
Mailbox Thug - Chris Baker
Sign Hanger - Chris Baker
Boo yah, I'm a triple threat.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 1:11 AM
5 Comments:
My God... We're now getting... SPAM BLOG COMMENTS.
It's the end of the world as we know it for sure...
Why hello Cbake, I think its great that your acting career is taking off! Reading your blog, I feel as though I can trust you now! I am a relative of the king of Lichtenstein which was recently deposed. We are enormously wealthy, but the new govt doesn't want us to claim the money. So if you give me your bank account number, then I can put the money in your account and claim it later! In return I will give you 1 gagillion dollars, refinance your home at 1% AND give you super c1alis pills!
Being an actor/thug/sign dude is cool. I wnat to beat a mailbox! OK, what I really want is to ask if you are home and if you can help me with my geometry stuff. I truly don't get any of it.
xoxo Allie
Looks like we can put another bit mark in the "W" column for super-successfull UNC grads. You'll be right up there with Andy Griffith and Jack Palance and Jesus. Congrats, man.
Thank you, thank you. I'd like to thank the Academy, all my friends and family who have supported me, and especially those who commented on my blogsite, without whom I never would have known whether or not my life was interesting enough to warrant comments.
Oh and Allie, I'll help you with your geometry homework. I just hope I remember enough of it to not embarass myself.
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