F-you Sony and your PS3 too.
Well the Sony Playstion 3 came out yesterday and people went stupid. I don't exactly blame you, Sony, for the dumb things that dumb people will inevitably do, but I will however hold you responsible for preying on the foolish and the weak.
Before I get to that, though, I'd like to explain why your PS3 "sucks", as the young kids like to say these days. For one thing, it's ugly. It's big and ugly and looks like an old DVD player of eons ago, not a next-generation gaming console. These things should be getting smaller, not bigger than our tvs.
Problem #2: You added a Blu-Ray DVD drive to your system. For those that don't know, the Powers That Be have created two new ways to watch movies at home that are better than DVDs. The new formats are High-Def DVD (or HD-DVD) and Blu-Ray. They are to DVDs what DVDs were to VHS tapes. However, just as it was back in the 80's with Beta and VHS, no one knows which format will come out on top and become the standard. For Sony to bank on it being Blu-Ray and not HD hurts the consumer because that format may end up being obsolete. They are taking a large risk in adding this to the system. So why bother?
Problem #3: The Price. Oh, that's right. Because you added the Blu-Ray DVD drive, you can now jack up the price so that the PS3 is the most expensive video game system in history with a base price of $500. Well, what self-respecting gamer is going to get the "base" system when he can shell out another $100 for the "better" system with 40 gigs more memory, wireless connections, and an HDMI output interface? People will look down on you and your kids will hate you if you don't get that version. Add in the cost of $60 games and expensive secondary controllers, and you're looking at blowing over $700 on this crappy machine.
Problem #4: Lack of Innovation. Two years ago at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), the early version of the PS3 had controllers shaped like boomerangs. It looked like Sony was actually trying to do something different with their new system. At this year's E3, the PS3 debuted with new controllers that looked... EXACTLY like the old controllers belonging to the PS2. What the Hell happened? Did they think they were cutting costs by just reusing the old controllers?
No. Sony realized they are pumping out the same crap over and over again, albeit with better graphics. They make absolutely no innovations with their gameplay experience. Nintendo, however, with their new Wii system has created an entirely new way of playing video games by making controllers that work as remote controls. Except in this case, when you move your controller up and down, a wi-fi connection to the machine means the character's onscreen movements will correspond with your own. If he's swordfighting someone, then you better swing that controller to parry and thrust. Playing baseball? Then swing it like a bat. Shoot it like a gun. Conduct an orchestra using the controller as a baton.
Sony said something along the lines of "We're not going to be using gimmicks with our new machine," clearly referring to Nintendo's new technology. But then Sony backpeddles, releases controllers that are identical to the PS2's, but different in one respect: it too now has motion sensory technology, albeit in a very lame way- the machine will only recognize certain tilting and rolling motions. And unlike the Wii, I'm sure it won't be utilized in every game.
So, that's the Playstation 3 in a nutshell: An expensive, overly large system with a DVD player that might be obsolete in a year with controller technology ripped off from a competitor. And oh yeah, it's supposed to have backwards compatibility with the PS2, but it turns out it just MIGHT not play every game correctly. So you better keep that Playstation 2 around just in case- don't take it to EBay just yet.
Now let's move on to Sony's business practices. This must be how the meeting in the big boardroom went: "How 'bout we only make a fraction of what we could actually produce? Let's give each store in town, say, only 6, that's right, SIX Playstation 3s. Then customers will have to line up around the block for days, facing ridicule and shame, building up clouds of body odor so offensive it will scare away other store patrons, but ultimately attract the vultures known as journalists with news cameras. Then, on friday morning, they can fight over who gets the opportunity to shell out $700 on our new system.
"The very next day, we can claim to have the 'Fastest-Selling-Game-Machine of All Time!' because virtually EVERY store in the country will have sold out of PS3s within minutes of opening! We can't lose!"
"BRILLIANT!"
Yeah. Way to go Sony. Thanks to you, we've had stampedes in stores in California where patrons get trampled. We've had stores broken into. We've had those fools who camp out overnight robbed at gunpoint. It's an expensive machine. What poor gamer wants to pay $700 when he can just go and rob those people in line, whom obviously have that kind of cash on them or they wouldn't be there in the first place? One man was shot because he refused to give up his money. He wanted your infernal machine that much.
So thank you, Sony. Thanks for preying on fools with money. Thanks for breaking childrens' hearts around the country because their parents couldn't take off three days of work to wait in line for a PS3. And thanks for not making enough of these, so who knows if the kids will get one for Christmas.
And to all of you @$$hole Sony Execs in training who buy the Ps3 and then turn around to sell it on EBay for $10,000, F$%K you too. You're a real inspiration to humanity, taking advantage of the handicapped like that. Because yes, there must be some sort of malfunctioning of the brain in people who will actually pay that kind of money for this thing. They ride the short bus to work. Fools.
Just don't do the same thing when the Nintendo Wii comes out. Or I might just have to wait another month like a normal and sane person. But who wants to do that when we're so used to having everything we want it at exactly when we want it?
--Cbake
Before I get to that, though, I'd like to explain why your PS3 "sucks", as the young kids like to say these days. For one thing, it's ugly. It's big and ugly and looks like an old DVD player of eons ago, not a next-generation gaming console. These things should be getting smaller, not bigger than our tvs.
Problem #2: You added a Blu-Ray DVD drive to your system. For those that don't know, the Powers That Be have created two new ways to watch movies at home that are better than DVDs. The new formats are High-Def DVD (or HD-DVD) and Blu-Ray. They are to DVDs what DVDs were to VHS tapes. However, just as it was back in the 80's with Beta and VHS, no one knows which format will come out on top and become the standard. For Sony to bank on it being Blu-Ray and not HD hurts the consumer because that format may end up being obsolete. They are taking a large risk in adding this to the system. So why bother?
Problem #3: The Price. Oh, that's right. Because you added the Blu-Ray DVD drive, you can now jack up the price so that the PS3 is the most expensive video game system in history with a base price of $500. Well, what self-respecting gamer is going to get the "base" system when he can shell out another $100 for the "better" system with 40 gigs more memory, wireless connections, and an HDMI output interface? People will look down on you and your kids will hate you if you don't get that version. Add in the cost of $60 games and expensive secondary controllers, and you're looking at blowing over $700 on this crappy machine.
Problem #4: Lack of Innovation. Two years ago at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), the early version of the PS3 had controllers shaped like boomerangs. It looked like Sony was actually trying to do something different with their new system. At this year's E3, the PS3 debuted with new controllers that looked... EXACTLY like the old controllers belonging to the PS2. What the Hell happened? Did they think they were cutting costs by just reusing the old controllers?
No. Sony realized they are pumping out the same crap over and over again, albeit with better graphics. They make absolutely no innovations with their gameplay experience. Nintendo, however, with their new Wii system has created an entirely new way of playing video games by making controllers that work as remote controls. Except in this case, when you move your controller up and down, a wi-fi connection to the machine means the character's onscreen movements will correspond with your own. If he's swordfighting someone, then you better swing that controller to parry and thrust. Playing baseball? Then swing it like a bat. Shoot it like a gun. Conduct an orchestra using the controller as a baton.
Sony said something along the lines of "We're not going to be using gimmicks with our new machine," clearly referring to Nintendo's new technology. But then Sony backpeddles, releases controllers that are identical to the PS2's, but different in one respect: it too now has motion sensory technology, albeit in a very lame way- the machine will only recognize certain tilting and rolling motions. And unlike the Wii, I'm sure it won't be utilized in every game.
So, that's the Playstation 3 in a nutshell: An expensive, overly large system with a DVD player that might be obsolete in a year with controller technology ripped off from a competitor. And oh yeah, it's supposed to have backwards compatibility with the PS2, but it turns out it just MIGHT not play every game correctly. So you better keep that Playstation 2 around just in case- don't take it to EBay just yet.
Now let's move on to Sony's business practices. This must be how the meeting in the big boardroom went: "How 'bout we only make a fraction of what we could actually produce? Let's give each store in town, say, only 6, that's right, SIX Playstation 3s. Then customers will have to line up around the block for days, facing ridicule and shame, building up clouds of body odor so offensive it will scare away other store patrons, but ultimately attract the vultures known as journalists with news cameras. Then, on friday morning, they can fight over who gets the opportunity to shell out $700 on our new system.
"The very next day, we can claim to have the 'Fastest-Selling-Game-Machine of All Time!' because virtually EVERY store in the country will have sold out of PS3s within minutes of opening! We can't lose!"
"BRILLIANT!"
Yeah. Way to go Sony. Thanks to you, we've had stampedes in stores in California where patrons get trampled. We've had stores broken into. We've had those fools who camp out overnight robbed at gunpoint. It's an expensive machine. What poor gamer wants to pay $700 when he can just go and rob those people in line, whom obviously have that kind of cash on them or they wouldn't be there in the first place? One man was shot because he refused to give up his money. He wanted your infernal machine that much.
So thank you, Sony. Thanks for preying on fools with money. Thanks for breaking childrens' hearts around the country because their parents couldn't take off three days of work to wait in line for a PS3. And thanks for not making enough of these, so who knows if the kids will get one for Christmas.
And to all of you @$$hole Sony Execs in training who buy the Ps3 and then turn around to sell it on EBay for $10,000, F$%K you too. You're a real inspiration to humanity, taking advantage of the handicapped like that. Because yes, there must be some sort of malfunctioning of the brain in people who will actually pay that kind of money for this thing. They ride the short bus to work. Fools.
Just don't do the same thing when the Nintendo Wii comes out. Or I might just have to wait another month like a normal and sane person. But who wants to do that when we're so used to having everything we want it at exactly when we want it?
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 5:02 PM
4 Comments:
Hi From Dad!
backpeddles should be backpedals...I believe....otherwise, how do you really feel about the PS3? Well written...I agree. Come home soon.123
Niiiiyeeeeeeeece blog. (insert looooong pause) ... Naaaaaaaht.
I must say, I did find those dudes camping out of Best Buy rediculous. I like the wii bettah. And my lowly xbox.
I've never trusted Sony, I mean, who makes up fake film critics? honestly....
xoxo Allie
Oh I had forgotten all about the fake film critics deal! And Sony was also the company that put the anti-piracy software on their CD's that wouldn't let you play them on your home computer. Punks.
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