"I had the sword extended, that's all!"
So a man breaks down his neighbor's apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought the porno he heard was actually a woman being raped and crying for help... what's wrong with that?
Come on, notice how CNN goes out of its way to mention that James Van Iveren, or All-American Hero as I like to call him, lives with his MOTHER, playing it up for humor, as if that's some sort of prerequisite for being a heavily-armed weirdo. It's not like he can get away with watching that sort of thing at home. Believe me, I live with *my* mom too. So sue him if he can't tell the difference between stereo and real-life acoustics, between "acting" and real acting.
I own a pair of nunchucks. So sue me too if I have a penchant for helping those less fortunate, if I dream of performing a truly heroic and selfless act like all those heroes I read about in books, comics, and see on tv and in film. Arrest me if I ever burst down your door, twirling my nunchucks and screaming at 2,000 decibels for you to show me the woman I've heard screaming in agony downstairs. She needs to be saved, and I'm just the man to do it. Don't get in my way.
James obviously descends from a long-line of heroes. The cavalry sword is a family heirloom he says, most likely carried down from a war-hero ancestor. He probably gave his life for his country, charging into enemy territory selflessly to save a woman from being raped, and James wanted to live up to familial standards of heroism. His father did it, as did his father before him, and I bet you could trace James' family history five generations back and discover his great-great-great-grandfather slaughtered 600 Native Americans because he thought their war-whooping was the equivalent of white-woman-raping.
It's time the police recognize this man, this Hero for trying to do the right thing and drop those unnecessary criminal charges of trespassing and disorderly conduct. But I guess they're too preoccupied with rewatching those porno clips for "evidence's" sake.
--Cbake
Come on, notice how CNN goes out of its way to mention that James Van Iveren, or All-American Hero as I like to call him, lives with his MOTHER, playing it up for humor, as if that's some sort of prerequisite for being a heavily-armed weirdo. It's not like he can get away with watching that sort of thing at home. Believe me, I live with *my* mom too. So sue him if he can't tell the difference between stereo and real-life acoustics, between "acting" and real acting.
I own a pair of nunchucks. So sue me too if I have a penchant for helping those less fortunate, if I dream of performing a truly heroic and selfless act like all those heroes I read about in books, comics, and see on tv and in film. Arrest me if I ever burst down your door, twirling my nunchucks and screaming at 2,000 decibels for you to show me the woman I've heard screaming in agony downstairs. She needs to be saved, and I'm just the man to do it. Don't get in my way.
James obviously descends from a long-line of heroes. The cavalry sword is a family heirloom he says, most likely carried down from a war-hero ancestor. He probably gave his life for his country, charging into enemy territory selflessly to save a woman from being raped, and James wanted to live up to familial standards of heroism. His father did it, as did his father before him, and I bet you could trace James' family history five generations back and discover his great-great-great-grandfather slaughtered 600 Native Americans because he thought their war-whooping was the equivalent of white-woman-raping.
It's time the police recognize this man, this Hero for trying to do the right thing and drop those unnecessary criminal charges of trespassing and disorderly conduct. But I guess they're too preoccupied with rewatching those porno clips for "evidence's" sake.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 12:03 AM
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