And the winner is...

*Updated*

Well the show had its ups and downs. Chris Rock surprised me by being funny and uncontroversial- Way to crack jokes on Bush without sounding hateful. The awards went to pretty much everyone whom the press (and I) thought they'd go to; there were no surprises, so I did not have any angry outbursts like I did the year "Shakespeare in Love" beat "Saving Private Ryan".

However, I do have to say whoever was in charge of this year's Oscars needs to be FIRED. The management for this year's show sucked. Lemme tell you why for a few reasons. Whose bright idea was it to bring all the nominees for lesser categories like Costume Design and Best Documentary all onstage at the same time? Now, when you lose the Oscar to the person standing beside you, you still have to stand up there onstage, smiling, and pretend that you're happy for the winner. Oh, it's a lot easier when you're in your seat and the cameras are no longer focused on you, but now you have to stand in front of the WHOLE audience and pretend you're not upset. Why was this decision made? To cut out the time it would have taken for the winner to walk from the audience to the stage, supposedly. WEAK.

And what's the point of presenting the awards for Best Animated Short, Best Makeup, and Best Short Film IN the actual audience? The presenters actually went into the aisles and stood beside the group of nominees before the winner was selected. Bad idea. Why? Because when you win, you don't get to walk to the stage like everyone else. Instead, you get to walk another three feet to the microphone, which was set-up conviently for you in the aisle, and then you get to talk to the entire audience's BACKSIDES. That's right, apparently being an Oscar winner for Best Makeup doesn't make you good enough to get to be onstage like the winner for Best Costume Design. Nooo, you have to stand up where you were seated and watch as the roomful of Academy members and other Oscar-hopefuls sit with their backs to you. How's that for respect? When I win my Oscar, I'll be damned if I don't get to walk onstage.

And can I just say that those awards for Best Makeup, Short Film, and Animated Short were the worst of the night? Why? Because they didn't show any damn clips! How the hell are we, the ignorant movie-going public, supposed to appreciate the award if we can't even see what the nominees did? Animation is a visual medium for flark's sake, show us scenes from each animated short so we can see whether they were computer-animated, hand-drawn, claymation, or even animated chalk art! That's a travesty and a disgrace to all who worked hard in these categories. And Best Makeup- SHOW us the artists putting the makeup on the actors, show us a montage beginning with the actor's face and ending with the character's look in the film. That's how they've presented the category in the past. That's how we can appreciate the nominees. It's respectful, and it helps the rest of us, who may have no idea why the film was nominated for that category, see what made those nominees and their work special. Otherwise you're left with what we saw tonight - Five minutes of dead air as we watched the camera pan across people we don't care about and hear the announcer list the names of makeup artists, filmmakers, and animators we could care less about because we don't know anything about their work. Here was our one chance to see clips from animated shorts we may never again get the opportunity to view. Really, how many of us have ever seen an Oscar-winning animated short? And the Producer of tonight's telecast blew it, and I can't figure out ANY good reason for doing so. LAME.

And did the people in charge of the "In Memoriam" section completely forget about actor John Vernon from "Animal House"? UNACCEPTABLE! Still, I had forgotten we lost so many good people last year: Janet Leigh, Christopher Reeves, Rodney Dangerfield... SAD.

However, there were a few good things about tonight's broadcast. Good Things #1-4: Bringing Latina goddesses Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek together to present the awards for Best Sound and Sound Editing. Two beautiful women onstage for two long awards. Kind of funny the presenters for sound were actresses that speak English as a foreign language though...

And did anyone else feel like Oscar-winning screenwriter Charlie Kaufman was really just an older version of Seth Green? It was like looking into his future as an actor. Bizarre resemblance in face and voice, I tell you.

Other good things: Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Emmy Rossum, Ziyi Zhang, Beyonce, and wow, Halle Berry. I hope she keeps the long hair look, cause man was she beautiful.

And finally, I have to talk about Jamie Foxx's heartfelt acceptance speech. It brought tears to me eyes, quite possibly the only time anything in the Oscars has ever done so. To see him almost break down when speaking about his grandmother was heartbreaking. My grandmother told me not to worry - she'll still be alive when I win my first Oscar. And I better use Foxx's speech as an example for mine. Yes, Mamere, whatever you say.

--Cbake


Real quick, here are my predictions for tonight's Oscars, along with who I'd like to see win. Keep in mind the only nominees I DID see this year were "The Aviator", "Million Dollar Baby", "Sideways", "The Incredibles", "Harry Potter...", "Lemony Snicket...", "Colatteral", "Troy", "Eternal Sunshine...", "The Passion...", "Spider-Man 2", and "The Village". Go here for a list of nominees.

Best Picture: I think "The Aviator" will get it, and I'd like to see it win.

Best Director: I think Clint Eastwood will win for "Million Dollar Baby", though I'd love to see Marty finally win the award. The Academy loves to award Actor/directors. If Scorcese wins Best Director, then Best Picture will go to "Baby"

Best Actor: Jamie Foxx for "Ray", though I'd like to see Don Cheadle win. PAUL GIAMATTI WAS ROBBED!

Best Actress: I'm fairly indifferent to this category, though I'm sure the winner will be Hilary Swank for "Baby". I guess I'd like to see Annette Bening win for once, but Kate Winslet was wonderful in "Eternal Sunshine...".

Best Supporting Actor: I love Morgan Freeman, but his role in "Baby", despite how much I loved the character, just doesn't compare to past roles he's played. This category is all over the place. I'd like to see Clive Owen, Thomas Haden Church, or Alan Alda win. Or Jamie Foxx. Or Morgan Freeman. I think I'll be happy with whoever gets it.

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett all the way for "Aviator". But if Natalie Portman wins for "Closer", I won't be disappointed to say I have a crush on an Oscar winner. But it works that way if Cate wins too.

Best Screenplay Original: Charlie Kaufman for "Eternal Sunshine" or Brad Bird for "The Incredibles". Anything else and I'll be disappointed. Kaufman needs an Oscar. Pixar rules.

Best Screenplay Adapted: I'm gonna go with Sideways on this one. Both my prediction and wish.

Best Music Score: They haven't rewarded John Williams since "Schinder's List" (this is his 43rd nomination! This is why he's the man), so I doubt they'll give it to him for "Harry Potter", despite this being the BEST Potter score yet, and one of Williams' best in years. I'd love to see Williams win this year, or James Newton Howard for his beautiful string work in "The Village". However, if they don't give it to Howard, I think they'll give it to John Debney for "The Passion".

Best Animated Feature: "THE INCREDIBLES". Anything else, especially "Shrek 2", and I'll be pissed. And no, I never saw "Shrek 2".

Best Cinematography: As is the case EVERY year, every film in this category was absolutely beautiful. They should give it to Robert Richardson for "Aviator", where film stocks, colors, and shooting styles reflected the differing time periods of the movie in a beautifully subtle way. But "House of Flying Daggers" and "A Very Long Engagement" looked like very beautiful movies, and I think "The Passion" will win because so much of it looked like perfect representations of Renaissance paintings and frescoes.

Best Visual Effects: This may be the first time in years I truly didn't care who won this category. Give it to "Potter". Or my boy "Spider-Man". Buckbeak from "Potter" ruled... but so did that fight on the subway train in "Spidey." I can't decide which was better.

Best Foreign Language Film: My boy Alejandro Amenabar for "The Sea Inside".

Best Makeup: Hmmmm, Jesus' flesh wounds from "Passion", or Jim Carrey's crazy faces from "Lemony Snicket"... I'll put my chips on "Passion", even though "Sea Inside" had some very convincing old man's makeup.

Best Art Direction: "LEMONY SNICKET"! The design and look of that movie kicked @$$. Also gets the award for BEST END CREDITS SEQUENCE... Ever.

Best Costume Design: "Troy" I guess.

Best Editing: No one can ever predict this. Will prob go to Best Picture winner.


And voila, there you go. Most of you will read this on monday, and I apologize for not putting this up sooner. But how many of you would have really cared anyway? What's that, all of you? Well darn, I hope you weren't looking to me for good betting odds. Just don't come to break my legs when you lose all your money to some sketchy bookie that answers to the name of Rhino.

--Cbake