"It's a madhouse! A MAAAADHOOOUSE!"
--Planet of the Apes
*Dedicated to Nick G and David Sloan (Bosephus Jamiroquoi) for practically begging me for a new blog post*
Oh has it been over a week already since my last blog post? I'm sorry, I must have slipped into some sort of alcohol-induced coma, brought on by some terribly traumatic experience occuring sometime around last wednesday night... Since then I've had strange hallucinations that I was trapped in a house run by six super-intelligent monkeys that forced me to feed them, clean them, in some cases wipe up after them, and drive them back and forth to zoos, bannana stores, and other places known for their multi-monkeyed populations.
And I'm exhausted. So exhausted and busy, in fact, that I have not had the appropriate time needed to document my journeys in blog form. Forget the monkeys. I've actually been babysitting since last wednesday night for my aunt and uncle while they went to Aruba. And my aunt and uncle practically run an orphanage. Full of six children.
That's right. Poor, hungry, and unemployed Cbake has been hired as a responsible adult in charge of feeding, clothing, and educating six rambunctious young people for over a week. It's only the best form of birth control EV-ER! *be sure to say that in a Valley girl voice*
Needless to say, this will be a long series covering the basics of my week as a crazed "parent" of six, so you will need to acquaint yourself with The Players:
Cbake: age 23, unemployed. Hungy, penniless, and a great family man, Cbake answered the call and heeded the charge, coming to the rescue of his aunt and uncle, allowing them to flee this madhouse in search of the sunnier shores of Aruba. He is also slightly insane for doing so.
Alison Huddleston: age 12, the Comic Relief. A 7th grader at that awkward age where she wonders why boys don't like her, her goofy sense of humor, balanced by her tenderness, helps keep the mood light when things get rough for Cbake.
Jacob Huddleston: age 11, The Basket Case. Suffering from Azberger's Syndrome, Jake has proved a tough nut to crack. Under delusions that everyone and everything must be done to his specifications and desires, he butts heads with Cbake everyday as neither party will back down, allowing stubborness (generated by both sides) to create conflicts between the two over matters as simple and trivial as "I don't WANT pizza! Make me a BAGEL SANDWICH!" Most quoted line of the week: "I HATE you!"
Rhett Huddleston: age 8, the Jolly Teddy Bear. A rough and tumble, football playing, rolley polly kid, already bigger than his older brother, Rhett has a winning smile and warm personality. When he's not arguing with his brother over who asked permission to play who's video game, he's throwing footballs in the house, watching college basketball, spouting off stats Cbake doesn't know about or doesn't care about, but generally makes Cbake smile everyday.
Bryce Davis: age 15, the Assistant. A sophomore at South Meck high, Bryce proves himself invaluable to Cbake by waking up the kids at 5:40 AM before school and preparing their lunches. Without Bryce, Cbake would have had to, well... wake up earlier each day.
Erik Davis: age 17, the Baller. Erik likes to think he's a baller, and he embraces his half-black heritage, slinging the bling-bling and talking the ebonics all over the house. Doesn't do much. Plays basketball for South Meck. Cracks jokes. You know the type. He and his bro Bryce are my uncle's nephews. Their mother died a few years back and have recently moved into the Huddleston residence.
Caroline Kelley: age 12, the Drifter. Caroline is the third child in the Huddleston residence that isn't a Huddleston. Her older sister lives in Maryland with her mother. Her older brother lives here in Charlotte with her father (my uncle). But Caroline has chosen to live with her cousin Alison because they are so close in age. She loves Lord of the Rings and the tv show LOST, giving Cbake and her much to talk about. But Caroline was in Maryland from thursday-monday night and thus MIA for much of Cbake's week.
Peaches: age 2? The Princess Pup. A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, this pampered pooch is as dumb as they get, and is such a lapdog. Literally. This thing's entire existence is based around making people happy. And that involves lots of cuddling, snuggling, and smothering (her version of a hug, in which her entire body sits on your face until you can no longer breathe).
Lego: age ?? The Phantom Kitty. Bryce's cat from Wilmington, he has been relegated to living in the garage as he likes to pee in the house and Peaches, as dumb as she is, just might eat the droppings left in the litter box if it was located inside. Always manages to somehow sneak inside and surprise you by sleeping on your bed when you walk into your room.
And now for the Theme Song courtesy of Jerome...
"New boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it is understood.
He’s there just to take good care of me,
Like he’s one of the family.
Cbake in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Cbake in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights
And I sing, I waaaant,
I waaant Cbake in Charge of ME!"
--Cbake
*Dedicated to Nick G and David Sloan (Bosephus Jamiroquoi) for practically begging me for a new blog post*
Oh has it been over a week already since my last blog post? I'm sorry, I must have slipped into some sort of alcohol-induced coma, brought on by some terribly traumatic experience occuring sometime around last wednesday night... Since then I've had strange hallucinations that I was trapped in a house run by six super-intelligent monkeys that forced me to feed them, clean them, in some cases wipe up after them, and drive them back and forth to zoos, bannana stores, and other places known for their multi-monkeyed populations.
And I'm exhausted. So exhausted and busy, in fact, that I have not had the appropriate time needed to document my journeys in blog form. Forget the monkeys. I've actually been babysitting since last wednesday night for my aunt and uncle while they went to Aruba. And my aunt and uncle practically run an orphanage. Full of six children.
That's right. Poor, hungry, and unemployed Cbake has been hired as a responsible adult in charge of feeding, clothing, and educating six rambunctious young people for over a week. It's only the best form of birth control EV-ER! *be sure to say that in a Valley girl voice*
Needless to say, this will be a long series covering the basics of my week as a crazed "parent" of six, so you will need to acquaint yourself with The Players:
Cbake: age 23, unemployed. Hungy, penniless, and a great family man, Cbake answered the call and heeded the charge, coming to the rescue of his aunt and uncle, allowing them to flee this madhouse in search of the sunnier shores of Aruba. He is also slightly insane for doing so.
Alison Huddleston: age 12, the Comic Relief. A 7th grader at that awkward age where she wonders why boys don't like her, her goofy sense of humor, balanced by her tenderness, helps keep the mood light when things get rough for Cbake.
Jacob Huddleston: age 11, The Basket Case. Suffering from Azberger's Syndrome, Jake has proved a tough nut to crack. Under delusions that everyone and everything must be done to his specifications and desires, he butts heads with Cbake everyday as neither party will back down, allowing stubborness (generated by both sides) to create conflicts between the two over matters as simple and trivial as "I don't WANT pizza! Make me a BAGEL SANDWICH!" Most quoted line of the week: "I HATE you!"
Rhett Huddleston: age 8, the Jolly Teddy Bear. A rough and tumble, football playing, rolley polly kid, already bigger than his older brother, Rhett has a winning smile and warm personality. When he's not arguing with his brother over who asked permission to play who's video game, he's throwing footballs in the house, watching college basketball, spouting off stats Cbake doesn't know about or doesn't care about, but generally makes Cbake smile everyday.
Bryce Davis: age 15, the Assistant. A sophomore at South Meck high, Bryce proves himself invaluable to Cbake by waking up the kids at 5:40 AM before school and preparing their lunches. Without Bryce, Cbake would have had to, well... wake up earlier each day.
Erik Davis: age 17, the Baller. Erik likes to think he's a baller, and he embraces his half-black heritage, slinging the bling-bling and talking the ebonics all over the house. Doesn't do much. Plays basketball for South Meck. Cracks jokes. You know the type. He and his bro Bryce are my uncle's nephews. Their mother died a few years back and have recently moved into the Huddleston residence.
Caroline Kelley: age 12, the Drifter. Caroline is the third child in the Huddleston residence that isn't a Huddleston. Her older sister lives in Maryland with her mother. Her older brother lives here in Charlotte with her father (my uncle). But Caroline has chosen to live with her cousin Alison because they are so close in age. She loves Lord of the Rings and the tv show LOST, giving Cbake and her much to talk about. But Caroline was in Maryland from thursday-monday night and thus MIA for much of Cbake's week.
Peaches: age 2? The Princess Pup. A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, this pampered pooch is as dumb as they get, and is such a lapdog. Literally. This thing's entire existence is based around making people happy. And that involves lots of cuddling, snuggling, and smothering (her version of a hug, in which her entire body sits on your face until you can no longer breathe).
Lego: age ?? The Phantom Kitty. Bryce's cat from Wilmington, he has been relegated to living in the garage as he likes to pee in the house and Peaches, as dumb as she is, just might eat the droppings left in the litter box if it was located inside. Always manages to somehow sneak inside and surprise you by sleeping on your bed when you walk into your room.
And now for the Theme Song courtesy of Jerome...
"New boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it is understood.
He’s there just to take good care of me,
Like he’s one of the family.
Cbake in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Cbake in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights
And I sing, I waaaant,
I waaant Cbake in Charge of ME!"
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 12:09 AM
6 Comments:
hey hey hey u say i just woke them up and made lunches o buddy i did way more than that how about pick up after those kids make dinner help u out with the Jakes dinner and ur arguments take crap from everyone else and all i did for u is prevent u from waking up early i dont think so buddy. no im just kiddign i know u did more than me but i think i did a little bit more than u think i did but its ok im black. well that was funny i was laughing through the entire thing because all of it was true. so i give u a big HAHAHAHAH and a little bit more HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. well that was really good i think ur best one so far hope u have a good time in the lonely house all by urself we miss u
Bryce a.k.a--The Assisant (whos only job was to help CBake sleep in yeah right come on please).
to understand all the players, could we have a description of the parents please?
Okay, here are the aunt and uncle:
AUNT LINDA: Early 40's, Nurse. Aunt Linda is my mother's younger sister. Goofy, funny, neat-freak. Having six kids in the house is not conducive to her ideas of cleanliness in the household. Pampers Peaches and loves her away time from the kids (usually spent napping)
UNCLE SKIP: Early 40's, does something with apartment painting/construction. The uncle to Bryce and Erik, he can sometimes have a temper problem, especially when it comes to the stubborness of Rhett and Jake, but has a good heart. Travels a lot around the Carolinas for work. Both he and Linda needed/deserved the vacation to Aruba, which was paid for by Skip's company.
PS: And Bryce, I know you did more. I wasn't trying to shortchange you, just trying to give a short, basic overview of each Player.
aunt linda is also a beauty;
green eyes, dark hair, lovely shape. full of love and sunshine. (not an ounce of grumpiness in her bod)
her birthday is 2/22. if you take 2 + 22 = 24. then add the # 4 (to represent my 4th decade oflife) you will get # 28!!!!!!!
Isn't everyone a part of everyone else?
Budd Schulberg, O Magazine, November 2003
Welcome to my world...
"The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous."
Anna Quindlen, O Magazine, May 2003
Post a Comment
<< Home