"Yes, he's alive. And in perfect hibernation."
--Lando Calrissian
To quote those annoying Taco Bell commercials, "I'm FULL!!!"
Yes, America and loyal readers, I have eaten. Quite a bit actually. Friday night at Chapel Hill I went to Ham's with Amanda before we hit up the Fisher Twins' B-day party. We had an appetizer, and I got a hamburger dinner, but had a terrible time trying to finish it. I hardly touched the delicious home-made chips. Guess my stomach has shrunk a lot more than I thought.
And in the morning, we went to Breadman's for breakfast. I got the omelette plate, but could only eat all the omelette, half the biscuit, and virtually none of the home fries.
I'm embarrassed for wasting so much money and food.
But driving home to Charlotte saturday night, I needed more food in my stomach to combat the alcohol from the previous night that still lay waste inside my body. So I stopped at Wendy's and got the cheapest combo there.
And I finished it all. And life was good.
And when I arrived home, my mother had cooked a big pot of Minestrone, and had a big tupperware full of leftovers for me to take home. And Life was better.
Then yesterday, I had a small bowl of the minestrone for lunch, and my father invited me to his new house for dinner. My new stepmom Paisley cooked a sumptuous feast of steak, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, shrimp, and rolls of bread.
I had all of the above with two pieces of steak and two rolls. Then, I was allowed to go back for seconds and added another two pieces of steak to my plate (for four total), and the rest of the pot of rice and the rest of the vegetables too.
And life was berry berry good. My stomach must be expanding, because I pounded away food like in the old days.
Or perhaps, as Jerome has mentioned, I am becomming more and more like a camel, storing away food (because I eat so rarely now) in some developing hump that will soon have people calling me Quasimodo and force me to construct a bell tower upstairs to go hide in.
And in a very strange turn of events, I slept for an extremely long time last night. I'm not trying to boast or gloat to all of you that have to wake up early each morning to go out and work. Because I really do envy you. In some ways.
No, I fell asleep around 2:15 AM. And I had terribly strange dreams. Long, epic tales of me joining with a band of talking whales, that lived in a lake and could beach themselves on the lakeshore at will, that jumped ashore and commanded me to help them find their ancient enemy and aid them in their War against their foes. So in my dream I was primarily in the water. The whole time. Just floating in a lake talking with animals, searching out the bad guys that hurt the whales.
And the whale and I found a shore with weird-looking ducks, and we asked them where we could find the Frogs and Toads, who were allies of the enemies, but also stool pigeons, and we could force them to talk. And underwater I see the horny-toads swimming away and hiding in the coral beneath us. They knew we'd beat the information out of them on where to find the bad guys, so they fled.
Then there was a speed-boat chase like in Face/Off, but with three boats, and they were heading straight toward me in the water, running over all the ducks and frogs in the way. And I got into a fight with some evil humans using the anchors for weapons. And the main bad guy, who was really an animal in disguise, fought with me too. And he was an actor like Leonardo Di Caprio or something. And the whales didn't even looks like real whales, nor did the ducks and toads. They were some weird, surrealistic cartoony representations with really big mouths that flapped up and down as they talked.
How bizarre.
The reason I told you about that strange dream is that I wonder if all the food I ate that day had some detrimental effect on my brain and thought patterns. Because I woke up today at 2:35 PM. That's right. I slept twelve freaking hours last night. So I ate a lot, slept a lot, and it was apparently 16 degrees this morning...
So I know there's a joke to be found here about me eating a lot of food and storing fat and hibernating for the harsh, cold winter... But I can't seem to find it.
Or maybe all that steak was just laced with peyote.
--Cbake
To quote those annoying Taco Bell commercials, "I'm FULL!!!"
Yes, America and loyal readers, I have eaten. Quite a bit actually. Friday night at Chapel Hill I went to Ham's with Amanda before we hit up the Fisher Twins' B-day party. We had an appetizer, and I got a hamburger dinner, but had a terrible time trying to finish it. I hardly touched the delicious home-made chips. Guess my stomach has shrunk a lot more than I thought.
And in the morning, we went to Breadman's for breakfast. I got the omelette plate, but could only eat all the omelette, half the biscuit, and virtually none of the home fries.
I'm embarrassed for wasting so much money and food.
But driving home to Charlotte saturday night, I needed more food in my stomach to combat the alcohol from the previous night that still lay waste inside my body. So I stopped at Wendy's and got the cheapest combo there.
And I finished it all. And life was good.
And when I arrived home, my mother had cooked a big pot of Minestrone, and had a big tupperware full of leftovers for me to take home. And Life was better.
Then yesterday, I had a small bowl of the minestrone for lunch, and my father invited me to his new house for dinner. My new stepmom Paisley cooked a sumptuous feast of steak, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, shrimp, and rolls of bread.
I had all of the above with two pieces of steak and two rolls. Then, I was allowed to go back for seconds and added another two pieces of steak to my plate (for four total), and the rest of the pot of rice and the rest of the vegetables too.
And life was berry berry good. My stomach must be expanding, because I pounded away food like in the old days.
Or perhaps, as Jerome has mentioned, I am becomming more and more like a camel, storing away food (because I eat so rarely now) in some developing hump that will soon have people calling me Quasimodo and force me to construct a bell tower upstairs to go hide in.
And in a very strange turn of events, I slept for an extremely long time last night. I'm not trying to boast or gloat to all of you that have to wake up early each morning to go out and work. Because I really do envy you. In some ways.
No, I fell asleep around 2:15 AM. And I had terribly strange dreams. Long, epic tales of me joining with a band of talking whales, that lived in a lake and could beach themselves on the lakeshore at will, that jumped ashore and commanded me to help them find their ancient enemy and aid them in their War against their foes. So in my dream I was primarily in the water. The whole time. Just floating in a lake talking with animals, searching out the bad guys that hurt the whales.
And the whale and I found a shore with weird-looking ducks, and we asked them where we could find the Frogs and Toads, who were allies of the enemies, but also stool pigeons, and we could force them to talk. And underwater I see the horny-toads swimming away and hiding in the coral beneath us. They knew we'd beat the information out of them on where to find the bad guys, so they fled.
Then there was a speed-boat chase like in Face/Off, but with three boats, and they were heading straight toward me in the water, running over all the ducks and frogs in the way. And I got into a fight with some evil humans using the anchors for weapons. And the main bad guy, who was really an animal in disguise, fought with me too. And he was an actor like Leonardo Di Caprio or something. And the whales didn't even looks like real whales, nor did the ducks and toads. They were some weird, surrealistic cartoony representations with really big mouths that flapped up and down as they talked.
How bizarre.
The reason I told you about that strange dream is that I wonder if all the food I ate that day had some detrimental effect on my brain and thought patterns. Because I woke up today at 2:35 PM. That's right. I slept twelve freaking hours last night. So I ate a lot, slept a lot, and it was apparently 16 degrees this morning...
So I know there's a joke to be found here about me eating a lot of food and storing fat and hibernating for the harsh, cold winter... But I can't seem to find it.
Or maybe all that steak was just laced with peyote.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 4:53 PM
5 Comments:
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
William Dement
I think your adorable...and i love the way you write.
Great blog. Keep going!
get a job, you bum
A. Yes I'm insane.
B. I might be adorable (thanks).
C. I'm still going with the blog.
D. And I'm working on the job. Or not working per se, but you get my drift.
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