Saturday, January 22, 2005

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen..."

--Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force


I went to Chapel Hill friday night to celebrate the 21st birthday of my friends the Fisher Twins, Dwight and Doug. It was a packed house with barely any little room to move. Your best plan was to find a corner or wall to lean against and just stand there all night and chat with friends who came by. There was no room for mingling. Unless you like having beer spilled all over you.

As the evening went on, however, the crowd thinned, and I left my comfort zone. I has only taken a few steps toward the couch when I heard a voice ask me a question, and a very strange conversation ensued. Here's a transcript of said strange conversation with a strange, tall, drunk blonde.


Stupid Blonde: (unseen) Are you a communist?

Me: (looking around, seeing her right beside him on the couch) Me? Uhhh. Yeah, sure. I've been told that.

Stupid Blonde: Cool.

Me: Yep. Uh, are you?

Stupid Blonde: I am.

Me: Cool, another commie. A regular card-carrying communist. You got a card?

Stupid Blonde: No, it wouldn't fit in my purse (holds up a really small purse).

Me: Ah, too bad. I don't know too many other communists. I know some socialists, but no communists.

Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...

Me: Yeah, my friends tease me and call me a commie or a pinko sometimes...

Stupid Blonde: (dumb, drunk stare) ...

Me: (looks away, takes a big sip of his drink) ...

Stupid Blonde: So which group are you in?

Me: There are different communist groups?

Stupid Blonde: Yeah. I'm in the 406.

Me: Oh, so it's kind of like a local communist group, huh?

Stupid Blonde: Yep. But I'm not from here, I'm from Connecticut.

Me: Oh, so what are you doing here?

Stupid Blonde: Getting a quality education.

Me: (trying to figure out if she's cute or not) Do you go to school here?

Stupid Blonde: (stares for a brief second) No, I go to ECU.

Me: (Damnit, back away and burn clothes) ...

Stupid Blonde: Actually the 406 is'nt real. My friends and I just made it up.

Me: Oh, cool... Yeah, like I said, I haven't met many other communists...

Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...

Me: (awkward silence) ...

Me: (looks away uncomfortably and finds someone else to talk to) ...


Then, five minutes later, I see her a few feet away talking to her girlfriend, and she's making big guestures with her hands. And this is what I hear-

Stupid Blonde: And I told him I was in the 406, which I totally just made up. He was sooo weird.

I start trying to tell my friend about this weird girl and how she out of nowhere asks if I'm a communist and that right now she's talking about me, but then they both glance my way and give me one of those "Hmmm, yeah he looks like he'd be a weirdo" kind of once-overs. And I'm thinking "What the f**k?"

But whatever. She was drinking a box of wine. Quality female.

--Cbake

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmmm yes, this would've been either jen or dy. I forget which one it was, but i know both of them, and either one of them would ask someone a question like that and then make fun of them. They're def mean like that, and were very drunk...I'm sorry. :(

-Meredith

7:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC), The Bacchae, circa 407 B.C.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC), The Bacchae, circa 407 B.C.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC), The Bacchae, circa 407 B.C.

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol really hard!
quality female indeed!

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

p.s. you are freakin hilarious!!!
from, your #1 fan

11:23 AM  
Blogger Cbake said...

Sweet, I'm developing a fan base! Eat your heart out Mr. Cruise.

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually you resemble Mr. Cruise and are probably just as talented. Maybe you could get a job as his understudy or butt standin??

8:53 AM  

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