"You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo steel."
--Kill Bill
The Demon Rat War: Update #6
Three down, three to go. When we arrived home from our skiing trip back in December, my dad and I added two more rats to the "Deceased" list of our unwanted guests. After being gone from the house for five days, I was curious to see how the Rats had rearranged the basement, so downstairs was the first place I went when we got back home. Moments after I reached the bottom step, I heard a rustling in the corner.
The Demon Rat was coming out to face me.
I had only a split second to blab out "Ahhh! It's him- the Demon Rat- hurry hurry- he's running up the wood- he's coming- come on- hurry up- gaaah!" but it came out all jumbled and garbled because I was so surprised to see Him. He ran up the wood, and once he saw me, there was a milisecond of hesitation and he paused. I'm jumping up and down and screaming, but he presses on, runs in my direction up the wood, then hops up into the crawlspace. That bastard is fearless.
My dad says I should have brought the gun down with me, but I wasn't expecting to see Him so soon. So I go back upstairs and unpack. When I go back to the basement, I find my dad at the bottom of the steps, pellet gun in hand, crouched like a hunter who's spotted his prey. He signals me to be quiet, then points to the dryer. I understand the code, so I move quietly to the machine and turn it on. After a few seconds, the pellet gun erupts-- PFFFT!
"Got him," my dad says. He saw a rat just milling about near the wood, but he didn't have a clear shot, so he wanted me to make some noise and drive him out into the open. The one shot my dad fired off didn't kill the Rat, though, and when I brought over the spotlight, I could see part of the Rat lying on his side, breathing heavily. My dad fired off another round and the breathing suddenly stopped. A wooden beam blocked my view, but I could see a pool of blood forming on the floor near the Rat's body. But Demon Rat, he was not.
We disposed of him (chucked him in the trash can), and when we checked on the Have a Heart trap near the dryer, we found a smaller rat inside- dead. Must have starved to death over the six day period. So much for having a Heart. After taking pictures of him too (For posterity, a record of the War's casualties) we disposed of him as well (more garbage fodder).
Since then, I have spied at least three more Rats in the basement. Demon Rat, what seems to be Mrs. Demon Rat, or another rat of equal size and stature, and Baby Rat, so dubbed because I've only seen him in the corner of my eye, but he appears to be smaller, and darker, much like the dead rat we found in the trap last month.
I've noticed a peculiar habit among the rats, and that is everytime I come down the stairs, I can expect to see a Rat shoot out from behind the washer and dryer, maneuver itself underneath all the many boxes that dominate the left side of the basement, and then head to the woodpile in the corner behind the furnace. Doing laundry is such a danger now, because I'm afraid I'll spook the Rat into running over my feet. So now I call my dogs over to that side of the basement, and even though a few boxes prevent them from coming close to me, I'm hoping they will scare away notions of escape in the minds of the Rats, and keep my feet Rat-free.
But Buddy and Burrito are wise to the Rat's trail. Tonight, while I was on a Recon mission, hoping to catch some Rat behavior in my scopes, Buddy and Burrito went wild, sniffing around the boxes, looking for the Rat's trail. They even tried getting under some of the stacks and hoped to find a way over to that side of the basement. They are dead-set on catching some rats too.
So now I wait. We've placed two more glue traps in strategic areas of the basement, but so far we've come up short. My dad has also bought Rat Poison, against my better judgment, but he swears that if the rats die in the crawlspace, he will personally crawl back there to retrieve the bodies.
That was last week. So far, none of the packets of Rat Poison have been disturbed. And since then, I have seen Demon Rat numerous times from my perch on the stairs. I know He has seen me too, but I think He disregards me as nothing more than a startling threat nowadays. But that's good. Because when He least expects it, when I buy a new camera to document my Victory, He will soon taste my vengeance. As will His children. Because I know He is breeding an army back there for the impending battles. But they'll pay. Soon enough, they'll all pay.
--Cbake
The Demon Rat War: Update #6
Three down, three to go. When we arrived home from our skiing trip back in December, my dad and I added two more rats to the "Deceased" list of our unwanted guests. After being gone from the house for five days, I was curious to see how the Rats had rearranged the basement, so downstairs was the first place I went when we got back home. Moments after I reached the bottom step, I heard a rustling in the corner.
The Demon Rat was coming out to face me.
I had only a split second to blab out "Ahhh! It's him- the Demon Rat- hurry hurry- he's running up the wood- he's coming- come on- hurry up- gaaah!" but it came out all jumbled and garbled because I was so surprised to see Him. He ran up the wood, and once he saw me, there was a milisecond of hesitation and he paused. I'm jumping up and down and screaming, but he presses on, runs in my direction up the wood, then hops up into the crawlspace. That bastard is fearless.
My dad says I should have brought the gun down with me, but I wasn't expecting to see Him so soon. So I go back upstairs and unpack. When I go back to the basement, I find my dad at the bottom of the steps, pellet gun in hand, crouched like a hunter who's spotted his prey. He signals me to be quiet, then points to the dryer. I understand the code, so I move quietly to the machine and turn it on. After a few seconds, the pellet gun erupts-- PFFFT!
"Got him," my dad says. He saw a rat just milling about near the wood, but he didn't have a clear shot, so he wanted me to make some noise and drive him out into the open. The one shot my dad fired off didn't kill the Rat, though, and when I brought over the spotlight, I could see part of the Rat lying on his side, breathing heavily. My dad fired off another round and the breathing suddenly stopped. A wooden beam blocked my view, but I could see a pool of blood forming on the floor near the Rat's body. But Demon Rat, he was not.
We disposed of him (chucked him in the trash can), and when we checked on the Have a Heart trap near the dryer, we found a smaller rat inside- dead. Must have starved to death over the six day period. So much for having a Heart. After taking pictures of him too (For posterity, a record of the War's casualties) we disposed of him as well (more garbage fodder).
Since then, I have spied at least three more Rats in the basement. Demon Rat, what seems to be Mrs. Demon Rat, or another rat of equal size and stature, and Baby Rat, so dubbed because I've only seen him in the corner of my eye, but he appears to be smaller, and darker, much like the dead rat we found in the trap last month.
I've noticed a peculiar habit among the rats, and that is everytime I come down the stairs, I can expect to see a Rat shoot out from behind the washer and dryer, maneuver itself underneath all the many boxes that dominate the left side of the basement, and then head to the woodpile in the corner behind the furnace. Doing laundry is such a danger now, because I'm afraid I'll spook the Rat into running over my feet. So now I call my dogs over to that side of the basement, and even though a few boxes prevent them from coming close to me, I'm hoping they will scare away notions of escape in the minds of the Rats, and keep my feet Rat-free.
But Buddy and Burrito are wise to the Rat's trail. Tonight, while I was on a Recon mission, hoping to catch some Rat behavior in my scopes, Buddy and Burrito went wild, sniffing around the boxes, looking for the Rat's trail. They even tried getting under some of the stacks and hoped to find a way over to that side of the basement. They are dead-set on catching some rats too.
So now I wait. We've placed two more glue traps in strategic areas of the basement, but so far we've come up short. My dad has also bought Rat Poison, against my better judgment, but he swears that if the rats die in the crawlspace, he will personally crawl back there to retrieve the bodies.
That was last week. So far, none of the packets of Rat Poison have been disturbed. And since then, I have seen Demon Rat numerous times from my perch on the stairs. I know He has seen me too, but I think He disregards me as nothing more than a startling threat nowadays. But that's good. Because when He least expects it, when I buy a new camera to document my Victory, He will soon taste my vengeance. As will His children. Because I know He is breeding an army back there for the impending battles. But they'll pay. Soon enough, they'll all pay.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 1:07 AM
2 Comments:
I'll time the release of the photos to coincide with my Novel about these torrid events. Let's just hope someone doesn't beat me to the punch with some terrible expose on my War Crimes-- I mean Rat Crimes-- I mean... crap. No abuse scandal here. I promise I'm not making the Rats run in little wheels connected to the house's power supply.
And by torrid, I meant horrid.
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