The Goatee That Ate Manhattan
Sounds like a bad straight-to-video 1950s sci-fi/horror film, no? Probably one where the bad guys (in most cases aliens, in this case a killer goatee) were really just thinly veiled communists too, right?
Well never before did I think facial hair could create such revilement and disgust in people. As those of you who know me, and who have seen me these past few months, know, I've done something different with my usual appearance. Instead of being the clean-shaven baby-face Cbake or long haired, bearded, shaggy/Jesus-like Cbake everyone's seen before, I've grown my sideburns down to my chin and started growing out a goatee.
Why? Well why the heck not? I'm not trying to impress anyone. And really, once I start working, do you think anyone would allow a look as crazy as this to pass through the offices? No, I didn't think so. So why not do something weird while I can?
The past few months I've been keeping the goatee neatly trimmed so that my chin was comfortably fuzzy. But the last month and a half I said "Ehhh... screw it, who cares." Right? Who cares really? So I stopped trimming it.
And then morbid curiosity took over. How long could the goatee grow? What would it look like? Would it strike terror into the hearts of women and children everywhere? If it got long enough, could I braid it into separate entities? Or maybe give it one long braid like an Egyptain Pharaoh? Would it become sentient and develop a mind of its own, hell-bent for world domination (much like that episode of "The Tick")?
Run! Run for your lives! Fly you fools!
Before I could get that far, I visited some friends in Chapel Hill over the weekend. Upon my return to my homestead, I found an email in which certain females thought my goatee was too long and, in fact, made me look like a billy goat. "Billy Goat SCRUFF" they called me. Then I got into an Instant Messenger conversation with someone, who was speaking for three other people in the room too, in which they tried telling me the goatee looked awful and needed to come off.
"Someone could yank it and... and pull your face into the ground and... give you really bad whiplash to your neck and stuff, yeah," was one comment (badly paraphrased by yours truly).
I told them that at the moment I was typing, the goatee was parted in the middle into two goatees, and they were pointed inward at each other so it looked like a claw, or the mandibles to a praying mantis or other insect. The response?
"You just made Jtard sick" (with that comment). Jtard being a nickname much like Cbake.
Jeebus.
Anyway, what it all boils down to is this: I don't have a job. I don't have many friends that I see on a regular basis. Heck, I don't even get out of the house and go out in public much. And I got kind of tired of looking like a "pretty boy" with the clean-shaven face and nicely trimmed hair awhile ago. So I'm trying something different for the time being. Just to see what it looks like.
Curiosity has gotten the best of me, and I'm hoping it doesn't kill this cat. If it gets too out of hand, I'll cut it. Fact is, I've been overdue for a haircut for over a month now too, but I haven't taken care of that either. Why? Because it doesn't bother me. Yet.
So if this bothers you, let me know. If I look like a total darsh or imbecile, let me know that too. Chances are I'll say I won't care. 'Cause at the moment, I don't. If I did, I'd look like the same ole classic Cbake everyone is used to. But in the end, all the comments will add up. But what it will add up to is beyond me.
Maybe I'll just shave my head completely. Eyebrows too.
--Cbake
I know I badly need a haircut, but a shave too?
Well never before did I think facial hair could create such revilement and disgust in people. As those of you who know me, and who have seen me these past few months, know, I've done something different with my usual appearance. Instead of being the clean-shaven baby-face Cbake or long haired, bearded, shaggy/Jesus-like Cbake everyone's seen before, I've grown my sideburns down to my chin and started growing out a goatee.
Why? Well why the heck not? I'm not trying to impress anyone. And really, once I start working, do you think anyone would allow a look as crazy as this to pass through the offices? No, I didn't think so. So why not do something weird while I can?
The past few months I've been keeping the goatee neatly trimmed so that my chin was comfortably fuzzy. But the last month and a half I said "Ehhh... screw it, who cares." Right? Who cares really? So I stopped trimming it.
And then morbid curiosity took over. How long could the goatee grow? What would it look like? Would it strike terror into the hearts of women and children everywhere? If it got long enough, could I braid it into separate entities? Or maybe give it one long braid like an Egyptain Pharaoh? Would it become sentient and develop a mind of its own, hell-bent for world domination (much like that episode of "The Tick")?
Run! Run for your lives! Fly you fools!
Before I could get that far, I visited some friends in Chapel Hill over the weekend. Upon my return to my homestead, I found an email in which certain females thought my goatee was too long and, in fact, made me look like a billy goat. "Billy Goat SCRUFF" they called me. Then I got into an Instant Messenger conversation with someone, who was speaking for three other people in the room too, in which they tried telling me the goatee looked awful and needed to come off.
"Someone could yank it and... and pull your face into the ground and... give you really bad whiplash to your neck and stuff, yeah," was one comment (badly paraphrased by yours truly).
I told them that at the moment I was typing, the goatee was parted in the middle into two goatees, and they were pointed inward at each other so it looked like a claw, or the mandibles to a praying mantis or other insect. The response?
"You just made Jtard sick" (with that comment). Jtard being a nickname much like Cbake.
Jeebus.
Anyway, what it all boils down to is this: I don't have a job. I don't have many friends that I see on a regular basis. Heck, I don't even get out of the house and go out in public much. And I got kind of tired of looking like a "pretty boy" with the clean-shaven face and nicely trimmed hair awhile ago. So I'm trying something different for the time being. Just to see what it looks like.
Curiosity has gotten the best of me, and I'm hoping it doesn't kill this cat. If it gets too out of hand, I'll cut it. Fact is, I've been overdue for a haircut for over a month now too, but I haven't taken care of that either. Why? Because it doesn't bother me. Yet.
So if this bothers you, let me know. If I look like a total darsh or imbecile, let me know that too. Chances are I'll say I won't care. 'Cause at the moment, I don't. If I did, I'd look like the same ole classic Cbake everyone is used to. But in the end, all the comments will add up. But what it will add up to is beyond me.
Maybe I'll just shave my head completely. Eyebrows too.
--Cbake
I know I badly need a haircut, but a shave too?
posted by Cbake at 3:46 PM
14 Comments:
How did you do that goatee hairdo? Honestly, I think it is as cool as it is weird. Some matters just don't matter coz what matters is what really matters to you. Get it?
Anyway, just so you don't go wondering who I am.. I am just a blog-hopper looking around. Drop by mine sometime, someday.. c",) www.njunaidahsoul.blogspot.com
How do interviewees respond to your head/facial hair?
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900);
What a deformed thief this fashion is.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Much Ado About Nothing", Act III scene iii
Well, so far I've been lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) in that NO ONE, not a single company, has ever called me back to set up an interview with me. I did meet with people from a small production company about two weeks ago, but I think my hair sort of fits in with that video producer lifestyle.
And WarrioR, the above photo was actually photoshopped. My real goatee sort of ends right before all the wirey hairs start coming out (which I meticulously drew on).
Surprised to hear you are not getting any callbacks--are you following up with phone calls to be confirm they received your resume? Got to me proactive in these times. Good luck.
From Dad, visit this site
http://www.filmstaff.com/index.asp?camp=10
From Dad again...here is another one
http://www.showbizjobs.com/dsp_currentjob.cfm?jobid=11930
your goatee looks terrible. the sideburns are wicked cool, though!
yes... i said wicked cool
we, out here in blogland, really don't care how the hell you wear your freaking facial hair! what ever happened to ratty? did he find his way home? is demon rat producing more hiers? i'm hangin here!
my starbucks is hiring. shoe place by belks at carolina place mall is hiring too. i see signs everywhere that say "hiring" and there are applications sitting near the signs too, for your convienience. gotta get cash to make your dreams come true. gotta really want something to make your dreams a reality. really, really, in your heart really, gotta want your dreams bad enough to make them come true. enough to put yourself out a bit. do you feel most jobs are BELOW you? if you answer yes, then you have mental illness and should seek help. oh you can't cuz you have no job. uh, sorry.
TIP: it is a known fact that people who have a job are more desiable to "interviewees" (is that a real word?)than the unemployed. atleast if you have any job it shows you will work hard, are not a snob, understand the little people, have a skill other than growing facial hair and chasing rats, and are employable. if you have no job when you go get a desiable job it looks as if you have a disease because no one else would have you, why should a good job take you? your illness will begin to flash "loser" and "reject" all over your face soon! so quick- get a job OF ANY KIND and go to work each day! even selling shoes. this is the only cure. plus, not only can you save $ to make your dreams come true, you'll feel better about yourself. you'll have a reason to get up each day. you'll meet new people along the way. your parents will respect you again. the list of benefits goes on.
Crikey!
Do I really have this many random, anonymous people commenting on my blog or is there only really two of you who keep coming back?
You look scary. But you already know that :-P
-R2 (signed in an effort to reduce the anonymous freakout)
The important thing is we keep coming back ....
You look like Sam Cone with that thing on your face.
Which is not to say I am reviled, just highly amused.
-Jenn
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