Friday, May 30, 2008

LOST Season 4 Finale thoughts, "There's No Place Like Home" (SPOILERS!)

Last night we saw the season finale for LOST Season 4, titled "There's No Place Like Home". This will only be entertaining to anyone who has been watching the show this season. Here are my thoughts, and if you haven't seen the episode, I suggest you stay away from my pithy comments. They will be filled with spoilerific spoilers!

SPOILERS AHOY!!!

Very glad to see the return of the mysterious-jungle-dwelling-kickass-Others. Watching them take out Keamy and the Gang was like a return to their threatening ways in Season 2. Before they became domesticated commune dwellers.

In geeky terms, Sayid vs Keamy was like Wolverine vs Sabretooth. Short badass everyone loves vs the giant mofo everyone wants to see dead. At the hands of the shorter scrapper, of course.

Ben killed Keamy as we knew he should. He deserved to die at the hands of the man whose daughter he brutally murdered. At that moment, when Ben stabbed Keamy in the throat and Locke got angry, yelling at Ben for allowing everyone on the freighter to die (Keamy had a heart-rate monitor attached to a radio that would detonate a mountain of C4 in the freighter hull), Ben's only response was "So?". Man that was cold. Cold and gladly familiar. It was a return to that heartless bastard Ben we knew from Season 2 and 3.

At the end of the episode, Jack breaks into the funeral parlor we saw in the Season 3 finale, desperate to see the man in the coffin. Before we as an audience get the chance to see the cadaver, Ben shows up to speak to Jack. And for a brief moment, I thought "Holy cow, what if BEN is in the coffin?" It would make sense, given that we've see what amounts to a Time Travel Closet in the Dharma Orchid Station. Ben looked younger and asked Jack "What did he tell you? What did he tell Kate?", wanting to know the future. This would make sense if you believe the theory that the reason Ben *always* has a plan is because he has a working knowledge of the future (because he has lived it). Man that would have been trippy.
Course, I also considered the possibility that a time-travelling Jack from the future would wind up in the coffin, having gone to the past to give Jack, Ben- everyone- some dire advice about the future and how they could fix things. That would have been one gigantor mindf**k on a BIZARRO level.

I didn't want to see Michael die. He had just come back onto the show! But then Jacob's secretary Christian shows up, tells Michael "You can go now", then KA-BOOM! Freighter explosion. I guess I can take consolation in knowing that Michael is now part of Jacob's ghost posse, chilling in the space-shifting-shack with Christian and Claire.

Ben said whoever moves the Island can never return to it. We know from a previous episode that after Ben moves the Island, he is shifted through time and space from on-Island 2004 to the Middle East/North Africa in late 2005. I don't quite believe that Ben can never return to the Island, as we were led to believe. I think what he meant was "moving the Island is dangerous and unpredictable, and whoever moves the Island will be teleported through time and space, never knowing the new location of the Island and thus destined to never return." However, by episode's end, I believe he has some theories on how to find the new location and how to get back to it with Jack and the Oceanic 6 in tow.

In the 2nd episode this season, "Confirmed Dead", we saw Charlotte's flashback in which she finds a polar bear skeleton with a Dharma Hydra Station collar around its neck in the middle of a desert in Tunisia. I now believe that the last time the Island was moved through space (and possibly time), Dharma or whoever used trained polar bears to do it. All you do is train the intelligent bears (who, we learned in Season 3, had figured out their treat machines in record time, beating Sawyer's record) to push the frozen wheel, and boom- Island moved with no one sacrificing themselves to do it. Plus, the bears would be acclimated to the extreme cold in the Frozen Wheel of Time room.
I prefer this idea over the previous theory for how the bear ended up in the desert: Dharma did time travel tests by stuffing dangerous polar bears, not bunnies, into tiny time-travelling closets.

While it seems many 815 survivors ended up dying during the Freighter explosion, I take comfort knowing there were still a lot back on the beach. Daniel was only able to ferry 2 raftfuls of survivors away, and before he took off on the second trip, we could see 815ers wandering around in the background, and one was taking care of Vincent the Dog too! Its nice to know Vincent is still humping an 815er's leg somewhere on the Island.

Sawyer and Juliet are totally going to get it on. Right there on the beach. Come on, Sawyer's all wet and shirtless, they're alone on the beach, they've got a bottle of Dharma rum to share between them. Its fate people. Its called "Depressed-Everyone-Just-Blew-Up-Sex".


Okay that's enough rambling for now. I *love* this show. Anyone have any other interesting observations, tidbits, or ideas for me to obsess over-- I mean, for us to intelligently discuss?

--Cbake

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

2007: The Best Year EVER!

Well the New Year is just around the bend, so its time to look back on 2007 and see what worked, what didn't and- wait what day is this? Holy Frak its May already? Hmmmm... Well let's just pretend we took the Delorean back in time a few months, shall we?

So without further ado, here's the BEST list:

BEST MOVIE (people forgot came out in 2007)- Children of Men*
BEST MOVIE (people remember since it just came out)- No Country for Old Men
BEST TRANSFORMING ROBOT- Optimus Prime
BEST SONG BY A BAND LONG THOUGHT DEAD BUT RECENTLY RETURNED- "Tarantula" by The Smashing Pumpkins
BEST SONG YOU NEVER HEARD- "Intervention" by The Arcade Fire
BEST SONG I STOLE FROM SOMEONE ELSE's IPOD- "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups
BEST TV SHOW, DRAMA- LOST
BEST TV SHOW, COMEDY- The Colbert Report
BEST REASON FOR AN HD-TV- Discovery Channel's "Planet Earth"
BEST BOOK RELEASE- "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
BEST SNL SKIT- digital short "Dear Sister"
BEST TRIP- Tie: Rome in January, Canada around July 4th, and Mexico in September
BEST DOG- Chihuahuas
BEST CEREAL- Cinnamon Life


And now for the WORST...


WORST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE- "I Know Who Killed Me" starring Lindsay Lohan
WORST SEQUEL- "Hostel II"
WORST MISSED OPPORTUNITY- United Artists not releasing a James Bond movie in 2007 and making it "007- The Year of Bond"
WORST SONG- Did Nickelback release anything this year?
WORST TV SHOW I DIDN'T WATCH- "Date My Mom" on MTV
WORST CELEBRITY- Lindsay Lohan
WORST CELEBRITY BREAKDOWN- Britney Spears
WORST CELEBRITY TO CLAIM SHE'S "CHANGED"- Paris Hilton
WORST "BEST of 2007" LIST- This one


Yeah, that was pretty lame this year guys, I'll own up to it. That's what happens when you try and look back fondly on the last year five months after it ended. I'll do better next time.

--Cbake

*Came out in Charlotte in 2007