Adios Amigos

Farewell friends... For now...

As my living situation goes into a state of uncertain flux in the next two weeks, I will be without a computer, or at least an internet connection, with which to update you on things going on in my life.

Any future blogging will be done at assorted libraries or from relatives' computers.

But I do have a backlog of blog articles I've written and never edited, as well as an assortment of future topics that will be blogged about in the near future (I hope).

I know I keep saying I'll write about this or that soon enough, but my job has kept me busy the last week, and I've found I'd much rather sleep than spend the wee hours of the night writing.

The job is going well, I've got my second commercial shoot coming up on monday, and I've already had to turn down another job because of conflicting schedules.

Anyhoo, as the lady sang at the end of "Dr. Strangelove"...

"We'll meeeeet again,
Don't know where,
Don't know wheeeeen..."

--Cbake

Quick Update

I'm working.

I'm exhausted.

Don't have time to describe my working days just yet.

They've been 12 plus hrs each day so far.

Tomorrow is the big commercial shoot.

Have to pick pple up from the hotel at 5:30 AM and take them to Lowes' Motor Speedway, then go back to hotel, get more, go back to speedway, work till sundown...

For now, I sleep a few hrs until then.

More later, I promise.
--Cbake

Two Stupid Dogs

Animal Control just came by. They say my dogs wandered two houses down through the backyards and double-teamed and attacked a black lab. Beat him up pretty good. Sent him to the vet. Owner is crazy pissed. Did all this while I was out for the evening. Animal Control left a letter on my front door knob, but I don't go in that way so I missed it when I came home around 10:30 PM.

The owner of the victim said he wanted to take matters into his own hands (the cop tells me), whatever that means, against me, my dad, or the dogs, who knows.

The cop was nice about it, showing up to talk to me around 12:45. I'm not sure how it happened, as the dogs have electric fence collars and I just rechecked them five days ago to make sure they worked. Either the dogs found a way to get around the range, or the batteries are dying.

Either way I'm pissed. I'm not a fan of castration, but my dad needs to have Burrito's balls snipped off. He's way too aggressive, attacking possums, raccoons, and now dogs that live two houses down and are fenced in. Apparently the black lab was so aggitated by my dogs trying to attack him through the fence that he burst through the gate only to catch a smackdown from my boys.

I'm not proud about it. I'm pissed.

--Cbake

P.S. In response to your queries:
I don't know what's going to happen.
I don't know how bad the other dog is.
I have to call my dad and tell him about it tomorrow, and then he has to call the officer and talk to him. The officer said right now they have to issue a containment order until they get everything straightened out, which means I have to keep Buddy and Burrito locked in the basement and hope they don't piss and crap all over the place. I'm more worried about the other owner, hoping he doesn't sue or something. And I'm hoping there won't be some sort of confrontation between him and me tomorrow too...

"Brought to you by the Space Pope"

--Futurama



Today marks an historic occasion, a first for my lifetime thus far: the election of a new Pope, Pope Benedict the XVI. I'm not sure what I think of this one; I was kind of rooting for the Nigerian, and I don't think anyone can top Pope John Paul II for overall Pope-cutness.

I'm especially not fond of Benedict's denouncement of and crackdown on religious pluralism, and his pressure of "Asian priests who saw non-Christian religions as part of God's plan for humanity". Seems a little too conservative to me in today's times.

But here's a toast to what we hope is a prosperous future. One that will probably last five years anyway.

SPACE POPE!

--Cbake

"Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you ALL!"

--Homer Simpson

I got a job.

No April Fools, no tricksies, no psych-outs. I got a job. Granted, it's only a temporary, four-day job, but its a job nontheless.

You see, my big ultimate plan for moving back to Charlotte was as follows: I would come back to Charlotte. I would apply to be a production assistant (PA) to the many production companies that shoot commercials in the area. I would get paid between $175-$200 a day for my work. I would work for about two to three weeks. I would have enough money to move back to LA. I move back to LA.

Seems like a pretty simple forumla, huh? Well, *that* plan went to Hell once I realized no production companies around here were going to call me. I guess its like Hollywood here too- it all depends on who you know.

I was close to giving up, but I just sent out two more resumes this week, one to a news station for an editor position, another to a production office in SC for a PA position on a movie that's set to start shooting in May.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a friend at UNC who was down in Wilmington working on a production. She said some PA jobs were offered to her in Charlotte, but she couldn't take them due to the Wilmington job, so she referred *my *name to those people in charge. I got a call from one such person this morning. She asked if I had a valid driver's license (yes), knew Charlotte pretty well (yes), been a PA before (no), worked on films before (yes), had a rate going (no), would $175 a day be okay (yes), and if I worked more than 16 hrs it counts as a double day (woohoo!).

So she signed me up for next monday to thursday to be a PA. On what production? I don't know. For which company? I don't know. She said she will email me and call me tomorrow with more information.

Hahahahah, take that you Doubting Thomases! In your face, World!

It's early yet, but today was a good day. Now I feel like I can breathe a nice, long sigh of relief. Siiiiiiiigh. Reliiiiiiief.

--Cbake

P.S. One month until Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith comes out! Geeks unite!

"By the Beard of Zeus!

--Anchorman

I was stumbling through the internet yesterday and came across this advertisement for that chick-flick I've yet to be forced to watch, "The Notebook".



Notice anything strange about it? Nothing? Hmm? No strange colors, no missing hair? Well I did. Perhaps this second photo, an actual still from the movie, will help change your perception.



Now do you see! What the makers of the movie have done for the above poster is airbrush out the man's beard! The source of his power! Are the producers afraid of promoting beard-love? Fearful of frightening away young girls who flee at the sight of facial hair on a romantic lead? Do they think fuzzy faces won't fetch an audience for the film? BULLOCKS! It's hatred for the hair!

I for one am tired of the Anti-Beard Bias that exists in Hollywood today! This agression will not stand, man! As you can see from the photo below, there is nothing frightening at all about beards! Look how lovable I am!*



*Not responsible for the nightmares this photo may cause in readers.

--Cbake

Hammond: "You may have us, but you'll never get off the island!"

Velociraptor (in British accent): "Oh, I beg to differ. You see, the other raptors and I have begun constructing a crude suspension bridge toVenezuela. Once there, I will lie low and assume odd jobs under the name Mr. Pilkington. But perhaps I've said too much..." (chuckles evilly while smoking a pipe).

--The Critic (spoofing Jurassic Park)

Raptor ROAR! You're 73% Dinotastic!!

Aren't you a clever one? Nearly everone is scared of you. The ones who aren't generally end up as lunch. You like the finer things in life, like a good hunt, a good triceratops steak, and a relaxing evening discussing the finer points of evolution in the Jurrasic and Cretaceous Periods. Stomping around and Biting everything in sight isnt your style. You are too classy for that. But still, who can resist a good chomping when the opportunity arises?

The what Dinosaur are you Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5231314034101233143


--Cbake

My ten year old cousin and me...

What it's like babysitting Jacob.



--Cbake

"And now for something completely different..."

Well, it was bound to happen. Something had to bring the good state of North Carolina down from our high, other than those anti-cigarette "Truth" ads (though to my knowledge, they haven't specifically targeted our state just yet).

North Carolina wins the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.
North Carolina wins Miss USA.
North Carolina elects the first Pirate Captain as Student Body President at a state university.

Wait, huh? They say trends come in three's; good, bad, expect three of them. Only thing is, I can't figure out if this is awesome or asinine.

Our school rival down the road, N.C. State of Raleigh, just had their runoff election for Student Body President. Who won? A fellow by the name of... (drum roll, accordion squeeze, parrot squawk please)

The Pirate Captain.

Yeah, The Pirate Captain. He dresses in white frilly shirts (shades of Seinfeld here), has a long blonde wig, and an eye-patch (no hook or peg-leg to my knowledge). All his goons wear flimsy black pirate hats with the skull and crossbones that look like they came from Burger King. And he's got a patsy to play little diddies on the accordion and another to carry around the jolly roger (big pirate flag).

Get a glance of the madness here (you can skip until the last third when the winner is announced).

Should I be jealous? I know East Carolina University should be. They ARE the freakin' pirates. Maybe a Ninja President would be cool. Or a Viking.

Either way, I hear Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" gave their campaign a call this week and said if The Pirate Captain won, they'd do a story about it on the show. So look for that this week. Bring on more national attention baby! North Carolina is on a roll!

I leave you now with a joke, shamelessly stolen from someone I know.

"Why are pirates called pirates?


Because they Arrrrrrrr!"

--Cbake

First we win the NCAA National Championship in Men's basketball, then Miss USA. Could North Carolina be having... The Best Week EVER?

North Carolina rules. All other states must bow down before our awesomeness.

Illinois? Think you're tough? Get lost. I find it funny that for the second week in a row, North Carolina has bested Illinois in the finals; first in basketball, then in the Miss USA pageant (NC and Illinois were in the NCAA Championships and both in the Final Five for Miss USA).

Why? Because we rock, obviously, despite our cancer-creating cash crops. California came close to winning, and they are quite the cool state, an assessment based on my short time there, and Miss California was quite the hottie.

But alas, not as hot as Miss North Carolina, the smokin' Chelsea Cooley, the Tar Heel state's very first Miss USA.


NC's pride and joy.


Looks like she forgot to throw away her powered doughnut.

Oh wait, what's that? She's from Charlotte?
Booyah.
And wait a sec, I went to middle school with her too? Well hot damn, I just got even more invested in tonight's events. Yeah, we went to J.T. Williams Middle school together. Yeah, even back then she was one of the "hot girls", even though she was in my brother's age group and not mine. Yeah, I wish I could say she'd remember me instead of my brother. His class had all the hot chicks. The punk.


Passing out Realy For Life information

Now if I run into her in a bar or a museum or a gas station or other social gathering here in Charlotte, my strategy is to pretend like I don't know she's Miss USA. Afterall, I was completely clueless about the fact that it was on tonight, and I wasn't even sure if Chelsea was Miss North Carolina this year or last year. So when we start chatting, I'll pretend to be blissfully ignorant and just bring up the fact that we went to middle school together, and from there we'll take a sweet walk down Nostalgia Lane.

Oh yes. That strategy will toooootally work.

Anyway, I had planned on including a picture from that yearbook from way-back-when on today's blog post as a comparison photo, but I think that particular item is packed away in some storage unit. If I find it, you'll see it.

And expect pics from Chapel Hill's massive celebration to pop up this week too.

And so I leave you with the words of the wise Petey Pablo:
"North Carolina, come on and raise up. Take your shirt off, swish it around your head- spin it like a helicopter."

Hmmm, yes. Eloquently put indeed.

--Cbake

"Buh buh buh BOOOOORED"*

--SeaLab 2021 (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th Symphony)


I'm bored.

Really bored. Too bored to even write a post tonight. Pathetic.

I need to write more blogs.

I need to get more sleep.

I need a job.

I need to shave.

I need a haircut.

I need more money.

I need more motivation.

I need more education.

I need a girlfriend.

Maybe I don't need a girlfriend...

I need to write a script.

I need to finish my childrens' book.

I need to illustrate my childrens' book.

I need to write a new childrens' book.

I need to go running.

I need to get my brother something for his 21st birthday.

I need to cash some checks.

I need some food in the house.

I need to stop my dog from killing possums.

I need to eat.

I need more toilet paper.

I need to work on my Flash animation skills.

I need to work on my Adobe Photoshop skills.

I need to finish playing Spider-Man 2 on the Gamecube.

(So I can perfect my web-slinging and crime-fighting skills).

I need to practice my nunchuku skills.

I need to watch my Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Extended Edition DVD.

I need to spend more time in the bookstore.

I need not look up Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith spoilers while at said bookstore.

I need to make a movie.

I need to repay my dad.

I need to clean this house.

I need to find the jeweled treasures.

I need to stop now.

--Cbake


*a repost from last night after blogger crashed

"I wish you weren't such a liar."

--Will Ferrell

So my last post was an April Fool's Day joke, but unfortunately one of the worst kind: The kind that made me step back, take a look at it, and say "Damn, I wish that *were* true."

I didn't want to fool anyone into thinking I had gotten a job, nor did I want anyone to believe anything bad had happened, so I thought I'd put together a post of mediocre quality (ironic considering people would think it was a "good" script) and add some stories at the end that would start out somewhat believable (the Star Wars rumor) and grow to end with something that's obviously false (my goatee is made of yak-hair).

But it backfired and some people thought it was true, and they congratulated me and send good thoughts and vibes my way. And then I feel like I let myself down, because only if I HAD completed a script (which I had planned to do) and sent it to Scott Free would I have accomplished something worthwhile these past six months. I have started on a script- that was true- but I haven't gotten very far.

Sigh.

Anyway, I will get to the Florida post soon, but I've been busy and away from home the past few days. And tomorrow I'm headed back up to the Hill for the NCAA Championship game, which my beloved Heels will hopefully win. So send good thoughts their way.

Stay tuned.

--Cbake

And GO HEELS!

Project Greenlight, Schmeenlight

You know, I enjoy writing a lot more than I used to. Back in the day writing was such a chore unless I got to be really creative with it. If a class project allowed me to write a story instead of say, a report, then you'd be sure to hear my tale read aloud in class. In 4th grade I wrote about child detectives. 6th grade I wrote about what it'd be like to be a peregrine falcon. In 10th grade I wrote about a mummy's curse for our World History class when we studied Ancient Egypt. My teacher liked it so much she asked my permission to give my story to another history teacher so he could use it in his class.

I still didn't enjoy writing essays, especially in 12th grade when I took AP English and we had to write AP test-style papers every day. That got old fast, but it really taught me how to write well under pressure, and because of that class writing essays in college was a breeze.

I took some creative writing courses to help stimulate some creativity within, and took a Master Screenwriting course for all of my senior year in college. As you can tell from the sub-title of my blog, I want to be a filmmaker, but have spent the past six months as an unemployed bum.

Well, little did you know that in the time since I arrived home from Los Angeles last summer I started working on a new script in my spare time. But I didn't tell anyone about it. I guess I wanted it to be my little secret: Let everyone think I was just bumming around and not doing anything really productive.

And now I'm proud to say I've finished it. It's a western- my first- and revolves around a young 20-something bounty hunter who finds out the wanted criminal he's been chasing is really his long-lost father (how sweet). Together they team up to fight the gang that framed his father for the murder of a local politician, and there's a large shootout that takes place at the grand canyon for the climax of the film. And there's also a buffalo stampede somewhere in there.

I sent it to the friends I made at Scott Free Productions two weeks ago, and they really liked it. I mean, really liked it. Liked it enough to pass it along to some other people at the office. Their bosses maybe? What does that mean? I don't know, probably nothing.

Though maybe, just maybe, it means my script is getting passed higher and higher up the script-readers' food chain, closer to that movie-god Ridley Scott. I know he's been looking for a western to make. That's what I heard last summer, and that's why I started this script. Oh, and for you unoriginal hacks out there- don't bother; I've already had it copyrighted.

So keep your fingers crossed kiddies! Things could be looking up for yours truly. This is a giant leap forward.

And in other news:

The big Star Wars: Episode III spoiler rumor floating the Net is that Anakin Skywalker is really a clone of Emperor Palpatine.

Scientists have successfully cloned the first dinosaur embryo thanks to the recent discovery of soft tissue from a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

My goatee is really glued on yak-hair.

--Cbake