"Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."
--Homer Simpson
Hey all,
Sorry it's been awhile since my last update. I've been pretty apathetic towards a lot of things this past week after my last job lead turned up nothing. I was feeling pretty defeated and wasn't sure where to go next. But a new lead has arisen and with that comes hope, and we all know "Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things."
So I'll start off my next round of regularly updated blog posts with a description of other blogs that I read. They might be funny, depressing, bland, or full of material I don't know much about, but I either know the authors of the blogs or find the writings to be very interesting. And therefore, you should too. And I've finally figured out how to add a "Links" section to my page, which you can now find on the side of the screen in the future.
Without further adieu... BLOGS I READ AND THUS YOU SHOULD TOO
"Like a Blindfolded Chimp With a Pencil in His Teeth"
The blog of David Sloan, a friend from UNC. Like me, he prefers to use quotes from movies and "The Simpsons" as titles for his posts. And like me, he can be quite funny in his writings, which range everywhere from gastro-intestinal problems, to road rage, to why Chris Baker looks like Eric Bana. Unlike me, this guy has a job. But don't hold that against him.
Comhra
A website by Trent Gilland, an old friend from high school. Don't ask me what Comhra means (I think it's Gaelic) ; go to his website and ask him. He started out as a fellow blogger, but upgraded to a web-page format, which allows him to create sub-pages for photographs, Album reviews, weird conversations he's seen, poems written by others, NCAA rankings, and other musings. One interesting note about Trent: He was the first real friend I made when I got to high school and didn't know anyone. Then I got to know him and realized he was a stubborn, close-minded, Ultra-Baptist conservative. But I didn't hold that against him (I even got his favorite University of Tennessee hat blessed by the Pope when I visited Rome my sr yr of high school). And now that he's been to college, he's come back a more open-minded and accepting person, more willing to criticize the government and its leaders than blindly follow them and their policies. Trust me, it's a HUGE change. Not that that matters at all in regards to his website. I just think it's extremely interesting.
Sports... and Other Stuff
Blog belonging to my former roommate of Old East dorm at UNC, Bobby Hundley. Mostly contains his musings on recent sporting events and stories, which more often than not I can't relate to, but he infuses his writings with comedic bits of gold even I can appreciate. If you knew Bobby or you know me, then check it out. And don't make fun of him for being fat.
Jerome Carpenter
Yes that's his name. No, I don't have a more interesting title for his page. But then neither does he, so go complain to him. This is the webpage belonging to my former RA at UNC, now a grad student, living the dream of eight years spent at Carolina. He rarely updates, but when he does, it's usually funny. And he has galleries of pictures he's taken around UNC and Raleigh which are worth checking out.
Paper Boats
I do not know this person, but she was the first random blogger to post a comment on my site. So I followed her comments all the way to her blog and... wow. Once I got there, I spent close to two hours catching up on all the writings she's posted. Her topics are depressing and sad, but her writing style is extremely impressive and perfectly captures the tone and mood of her many musings on life, past and present. It's the story of a young woman trying to find herself in the world today and at the same time raise a family as best she can. I know there's some people out there that can relate.
The World As Seen by a SaltParrot
A friend of mine on the West Coast who saw what kind of responses my blog was generating and decided he wanted to join the 21st Century Geekfest of online blogging too. Like me, he wants to be a filmmaker. Unlike me, he's actually in Hollywood, has a manager, and has written more than one feature-length script. He's a little bit closer to success than I am, geographically and metaphorically speaking, but he's also older- and that's the only reason why, I like to imagine. Also like me, he's addicted to the tv shows "24" and "Lost", but you won't find any of that content on his blog. So why did I bother to tell you? I don't know, to make his blog summary a little bit longer, sheesh, lay off me.
We're Listening!: The TOL Comment Card Odyssey
TOL stands for Top of Lenoir, Top of Lenoir being the main dining hall at UNC where my chums and I would spend long hours of sitting, people watching, crossword puzzling, and general lazying. This isn't an official blog by the dining hall, but one created by a UNC student who saw the ridiculous notes other students would post on Lenoir's Comment Card bulletin board. Anyone who's been there knows what kind of maniac comments are left by the dining hall's patrons. Even funnier are the responses those comments often receive from Lenoir's managerial staff. This blog lets you see the comedy unfold with pictures of the best comment cards Lenoir has to offer. I only wish the guy would update sometime this year.
Query Letters I Love
Oh God, I don't even know where to start with this one. Proof that most of America is retarded, perhaps? For those that don't know, query letters are unsolicited letters sent to Hollywood producers, directors, and actors that are written by Average Joe Sixpacks like you and me. Well, maybe you, not me. The letters are often filled with incredibly creative, hilarious, and insightful plot synopses and summaries of stories that would make terrific, Oscar-winning, Box Office blowing, films.
Homer: "In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."
Marge: "Well, DUH."
It's amazing what some people think will make a good movie. Scratch that, a good STORY. Honestly, some of the ideas proposed here sound like they sprung from the hyperactive mind of a 12 year old on crack. Do people really believe their ideas are that good? Are they giving us ideas for movies they themselves would happily plunk down eight dollars to see at the theater?
I read some query letters last summer during my internship in Hollywood. When we gave out mail, any unsolicited letters sent to Ridley Scott or Scott Free in general were to be thrown out, because more often than not they'd be query letters. One day I decided to open one up and read it, you know, to show some sort of respect for a fellow writer. Boy, I wish I hadn't. I think that fellow writer really WAS a 12 year old. The story was about a girl who wakes up with amnesia, bloody in the Canadian yukon. She stumbles up to a house and asks for help, not knowing who she is. The family there tells her they know her name, they know her family, and the next day they will take her to her home which is over the next ridge. Well, that night she notices strange behavior from the family: the young boy is timid, quiet, crazy. The dad is a heavy drinker. The mom ignores everything around her and just cleans the house, humming to herself. I don't really know what happens next because it was all lame and unbelievable and had a twist I saw coming from the very first paragraph. But the girl finds out the dad regularly hunts humans, kills visitors to his house, chops up the remains and keeps them in a freezer downstairs. And then it turns out that, *SHOCK!*, the girl is really a part of the family! She found out what her dad did, and when she disagreed with his actions she tried to run away, he tried to catch her, somehow she got knocked out, and he left her for dead in the wilderness.
So the story ends with some absurd chase through the woods, and the father gets stuck in his own bear-trap that he set for his daughter (that he stupidly leaps in to when his daughter moves to the side at the very last second) and freezes to death. Meanwhile, the young girl makes it to town, tells her story to the sheriff, who of course doesn't believe a word until he finds the remains of the father, and somehow there's a happy ending after all for her and her brother, despite the fact that both their parents are now dead. I think the sheriff decides to adopt them or some other cliched ending like that.
Trust me, it was bad. So bad, in fact, that I came very close to writing a response letter to the author, telling her to take some writing classes when she gets to college, pointing out that what she presented would make a terrible movie and is better suited for the short story medium. I thought something like that would set her on a better path in life. But I didn't. And I bet someday one of her letters will show up on this blog. So read it and rejoice in the stupidity of your fellow man.
--Cbake
Hey all,
Sorry it's been awhile since my last update. I've been pretty apathetic towards a lot of things this past week after my last job lead turned up nothing. I was feeling pretty defeated and wasn't sure where to go next. But a new lead has arisen and with that comes hope, and we all know "Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things."
So I'll start off my next round of regularly updated blog posts with a description of other blogs that I read. They might be funny, depressing, bland, or full of material I don't know much about, but I either know the authors of the blogs or find the writings to be very interesting. And therefore, you should too. And I've finally figured out how to add a "Links" section to my page, which you can now find on the side of the screen in the future.
Without further adieu... BLOGS I READ AND THUS YOU SHOULD TOO
"Like a Blindfolded Chimp With a Pencil in His Teeth"
The blog of David Sloan, a friend from UNC. Like me, he prefers to use quotes from movies and "The Simpsons" as titles for his posts. And like me, he can be quite funny in his writings, which range everywhere from gastro-intestinal problems, to road rage, to why Chris Baker looks like Eric Bana. Unlike me, this guy has a job. But don't hold that against him.
Comhra
A website by Trent Gilland, an old friend from high school. Don't ask me what Comhra means (I think it's Gaelic) ; go to his website and ask him. He started out as a fellow blogger, but upgraded to a web-page format, which allows him to create sub-pages for photographs, Album reviews, weird conversations he's seen, poems written by others, NCAA rankings, and other musings. One interesting note about Trent: He was the first real friend I made when I got to high school and didn't know anyone. Then I got to know him and realized he was a stubborn, close-minded, Ultra-Baptist conservative. But I didn't hold that against him (I even got his favorite University of Tennessee hat blessed by the Pope when I visited Rome my sr yr of high school). And now that he's been to college, he's come back a more open-minded and accepting person, more willing to criticize the government and its leaders than blindly follow them and their policies. Trust me, it's a HUGE change. Not that that matters at all in regards to his website. I just think it's extremely interesting.
Sports... and Other Stuff
Blog belonging to my former roommate of Old East dorm at UNC, Bobby Hundley. Mostly contains his musings on recent sporting events and stories, which more often than not I can't relate to, but he infuses his writings with comedic bits of gold even I can appreciate. If you knew Bobby or you know me, then check it out. And don't make fun of him for being fat.
Jerome Carpenter
Yes that's his name. No, I don't have a more interesting title for his page. But then neither does he, so go complain to him. This is the webpage belonging to my former RA at UNC, now a grad student, living the dream of eight years spent at Carolina. He rarely updates, but when he does, it's usually funny. And he has galleries of pictures he's taken around UNC and Raleigh which are worth checking out.
Paper Boats
I do not know this person, but she was the first random blogger to post a comment on my site. So I followed her comments all the way to her blog and... wow. Once I got there, I spent close to two hours catching up on all the writings she's posted. Her topics are depressing and sad, but her writing style is extremely impressive and perfectly captures the tone and mood of her many musings on life, past and present. It's the story of a young woman trying to find herself in the world today and at the same time raise a family as best she can. I know there's some people out there that can relate.
The World As Seen by a SaltParrot
A friend of mine on the West Coast who saw what kind of responses my blog was generating and decided he wanted to join the 21st Century Geekfest of online blogging too. Like me, he wants to be a filmmaker. Unlike me, he's actually in Hollywood, has a manager, and has written more than one feature-length script. He's a little bit closer to success than I am, geographically and metaphorically speaking, but he's also older- and that's the only reason why, I like to imagine. Also like me, he's addicted to the tv shows "24" and "Lost", but you won't find any of that content on his blog. So why did I bother to tell you? I don't know, to make his blog summary a little bit longer, sheesh, lay off me.
We're Listening!: The TOL Comment Card Odyssey
TOL stands for Top of Lenoir, Top of Lenoir being the main dining hall at UNC where my chums and I would spend long hours of sitting, people watching, crossword puzzling, and general lazying. This isn't an official blog by the dining hall, but one created by a UNC student who saw the ridiculous notes other students would post on Lenoir's Comment Card bulletin board. Anyone who's been there knows what kind of maniac comments are left by the dining hall's patrons. Even funnier are the responses those comments often receive from Lenoir's managerial staff. This blog lets you see the comedy unfold with pictures of the best comment cards Lenoir has to offer. I only wish the guy would update sometime this year.
Query Letters I Love
Oh God, I don't even know where to start with this one. Proof that most of America is retarded, perhaps? For those that don't know, query letters are unsolicited letters sent to Hollywood producers, directors, and actors that are written by Average Joe Sixpacks like you and me. Well, maybe you, not me. The letters are often filled with incredibly creative, hilarious, and insightful plot synopses and summaries of stories that would make terrific, Oscar-winning, Box Office blowing, films.
Homer: "In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."
Marge: "Well, DUH."
It's amazing what some people think will make a good movie. Scratch that, a good STORY. Honestly, some of the ideas proposed here sound like they sprung from the hyperactive mind of a 12 year old on crack. Do people really believe their ideas are that good? Are they giving us ideas for movies they themselves would happily plunk down eight dollars to see at the theater?
I read some query letters last summer during my internship in Hollywood. When we gave out mail, any unsolicited letters sent to Ridley Scott or Scott Free in general were to be thrown out, because more often than not they'd be query letters. One day I decided to open one up and read it, you know, to show some sort of respect for a fellow writer. Boy, I wish I hadn't. I think that fellow writer really WAS a 12 year old. The story was about a girl who wakes up with amnesia, bloody in the Canadian yukon. She stumbles up to a house and asks for help, not knowing who she is. The family there tells her they know her name, they know her family, and the next day they will take her to her home which is over the next ridge. Well, that night she notices strange behavior from the family: the young boy is timid, quiet, crazy. The dad is a heavy drinker. The mom ignores everything around her and just cleans the house, humming to herself. I don't really know what happens next because it was all lame and unbelievable and had a twist I saw coming from the very first paragraph. But the girl finds out the dad regularly hunts humans, kills visitors to his house, chops up the remains and keeps them in a freezer downstairs. And then it turns out that, *SHOCK!*, the girl is really a part of the family! She found out what her dad did, and when she disagreed with his actions she tried to run away, he tried to catch her, somehow she got knocked out, and he left her for dead in the wilderness.
So the story ends with some absurd chase through the woods, and the father gets stuck in his own bear-trap that he set for his daughter (that he stupidly leaps in to when his daughter moves to the side at the very last second) and freezes to death. Meanwhile, the young girl makes it to town, tells her story to the sheriff, who of course doesn't believe a word until he finds the remains of the father, and somehow there's a happy ending after all for her and her brother, despite the fact that both their parents are now dead. I think the sheriff decides to adopt them or some other cliched ending like that.
Trust me, it was bad. So bad, in fact, that I came very close to writing a response letter to the author, telling her to take some writing classes when she gets to college, pointing out that what she presented would make a terrible movie and is better suited for the short story medium. I thought something like that would set her on a better path in life. But I didn't. And I bet someday one of her letters will show up on this blog. So read it and rejoice in the stupidity of your fellow man.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 11:26 AM
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