Spooks or Soldiers?

I don't make political posts often. In fact, this may be my first one, though I think of making plenty every day. Unfortunately, I'm never around the computer when these thoughts come to me, but you may see more in the future. Depending on where I am, of course.

Today's post regards President Bush's nomination of Air Force General Michael Hayden as the new replacement as head of the CIA after Porter Goss resigned friday. That's right, a military man to oversee a civilian spy agency.

Maybe this is crazy, maybe I'm just weird, but it seems right and normal and the common sense decision to nominate, gee, I don't know, maybe someone actually WITHIN the CIA to succeed Goss. Why go to a completely different sector of government, one overseen by the Pentagon, to find a leader? Why not just go to the Number 2 guy within the CIA, someone who has actual experience within the agency and one who knows how things work? When Goss became CIA director, we heard of all kinds of CIA agents and employees feeling ignored, left out, and disrespected. If Hayden is confirmed, I'm sure we'll hear of more.

I don't know. I just don't get it.

--Cbake

Greatest News Ever? Or Worst Prank in History?

You decide!

"Saved by the Bell" goes back into Production: Saved by the Bell: The Thirtysomething Years

Zack Morris was my idol growing up. He was cunning, witty, and got all the girls all the time. Well, not all the time, but he knew it was a numbers game and took his rejections with grace and humility before hitting on the next hot girl that walked by. And let's not forget the fact that he and Slater were somehow on every sports team at Bayside High.

That show singlehandedly ruined my impressions of how middle school and high school were going to be. I was led to believe we'd have massive amounts of freetime with which to just "hang out" by our lockers. Anyone who actually went to school and fought through the endless hordes of students to get to your textbooks under a predetermined time knows that reality played out more like a video game or an obstacle course than it did the carefree loungetime on the show.

And "Saved by the Bell: The College Years" had me thinking our dorm rooms would be huuuuuge, and that somehow, my roommates and I would be lucky enough to share a ginormous common room with a group of hot girls who lived on the other side. I also thought my RA would be an ex-pro football player.

Then there was Kelly Kapowski. Ahhh, Kelly Kapowski. Every boy dreamed of having Kelly Kapowski as his girlfriend. I guess the show did get one thing right: There's always that one hot girl at your school that everyone has a crush on. She might be what I'm most excited to see on the new "Saved by the Bell" show if this story turns out to be true. Everyone had a crush on her, come on. And those of us that saw her on "Bevery Hills 90210" knows she continued to be quite hot. I mean, that's what I hear. I, uh, saw pictures of her on TV Guide and stuff when that show was still on. I didn't watch. Pssh.

...

Of course, on occasion, the show tried to interject some timely and important social issues into their stories. Zack and the gang fought in the Drug Wars in an episode where they discovered a "roach" in the bathroom after movie star Jonny Dakota comes to the school to film an anti-drug commercial. That episode coined the maxim "Would I do dope? Nope." The show also tackled drunk driving after the gang goes to a party, consumes one or two beers, and then proceeds to wreck Lisa's mother's car with Zack at the wheel. Funny? Not so much. Educational? Sort of, but cheesy episodes like that were what made the show great.

The potential to once again see "old friends" I grew up with is what's exciting about this story. Are Zack and Kelly still together? Do they have kids? Is Zack coming up with a million and one ways to become a millionaire? Did A.C. Slater go into pro sports? Or did he go into the military and follow in his father's footsteps? Did Lisa become a famous clothing designer? Is Screech still a bumbling fool, and if so, how the heck did he become the Principal of Bayside? Oh wait, Belding was the principal before him wasn't he...

Or did the whole group achieve their dreams of super-stardom with their rock band "Zack Attack" before falling from the heavens by failing to adapt to new musical sounds in the late 90's and going bankrupt after wasting their fortunes on faberge egg addictions, Buddy Bands, and a prolonged copyright infringement court case with Betty Crocker?

Of course, ex-stripper Elizabeth Berkely won't be coming back; her stint on "Showgirls" is still probably too recent and too risque for producers to want her back on a family show. Or, she could have declined, trying instead to focus on her movie career. I wonder how they will write her out? I suppose Jesse could have had a relapse and become addicted to caffeine pills once more.

Well, Adult Swim, you better not be yanking my proverbial chain. And you better make this show a darn good one, one as wonderfully cheesy and funny as the show before it with a large supporting cast of goofball teachers, squeaky-voiced nerds, and dumb bullying jocks to complement Zack's hair-brained schemes.

The show could go either way, good or bad, and thus it should create a very certain reaction in all of us, one illustrated by the single best quote in "Saved by the Bell", nay TELEVISION history:

(singing)
"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so *sob*... SCARED!"

--Cbake

Rudeness at the Gas Pump

Have I mentioned that I hate people? Not everyone mind you, just everyone I don't know. Seems most people I encounter are either rude or ignorant or have a little from column A and a little from column B.

Yesterday on the way home from Chapel Hill on I-40, I stopped at a gas station that had unleaded fuel advertised at $2.71 while pumps actually in Chapel Hill were priced at $2.91. I pulled up and saw that every pump was taken, and people were beginning to line up behind cars that were fueling. The closest pump to me was one outside pump, and because of the position of the car that was filling up and the location of my gas tank, I had to line up so that I was facing the car that was currently fueling.

Other spots opened up at pumps nearby, but I chose not to take them because people who were pumping would have had no exit because they were hemmed in on all sides by people who were in line. Of course, those pumps ended up getting taken away by people without the powers of observation, people who pulled up out of nowhere and skipped people who were in other lines and were perfectly capable of reversing and pulling into the currently available pump.

While I waited on the woman in front of me to get back from paying her gas and to start fueling, a car pulled up behind her car, so now both cars were facing me. This put me in the unfortunate position of being unable to get to the pump before the second car, since the first would have to drive off in my direction.

I should have gotten out and made sure that the second woman did indeed see that I was waiting in line, and was therefore next to have access to the pump, but I did not want to underestimate her own abilities and presume she was dumb enough to not see me through the first car's windshield, as I could clearly see her through it. I didn't want to anger this person by presuming she was stupid and then have her take the pump anyway, so I sat in the car and said nothing. Another car, a small Geo Tracker looking vehicle, pulls up behind the second lady, high enough to clearly see me and my car, three cars in front of her.

After waiting ten minutes, the first woman finally comes out and finishes fueling. I start easing up to the pump, but leave enough room for the first woman to pull out and leave. Sure enough, that second lady zooms up to the pump and takes my spot. I open my car door and step out, saying to the overweight woman who surely must not have made a mistake, as she could clearly see me waiting when she first pulled up, "Hey, you do realize you've just cut in front of me? I'm sorry, but I was waiting here first."

The woman sizes me up for a second, then breaks eye contact, looks away and says "I didn't see you," quite rudely, and turns her back on me to start pumping. I reply "Yes you did see me, and you just cut in line, I hope you know that."

Without looking back at me, she says "Too late to do anything about that now." My girlfriend Jennifer points out that at this point, if had it had been a mistake or even if it had not, the proper polite thing to do would have been to apologize and say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I'll make sure you get in next."

But before I can continue to communicate with this whale of a jerk, the third woman, the one driving the Geo Tracker, steps out of her vehicle and calls out to me "I'm next!"

I'm not rude, but I'm not polite either when I curtly reply "No, you're not."

"Yes I AM, I just pulled around the whole gas station," she says, and then she gets back into her car. Well that's it. I can't stand by and passively allow people to skip me after I've been waiting fifteen minutes for gas. I get out of my cat, slam my door, march right past the fat cow who stole my spot in the first place, and go up to the woman in the Tracker. As I approach, she's shaking her head and saying things I can't understand because her window is up. She has huge Bono sunglasses on too, so I can't tell if she's making eye contact or not, but I'm pretty sure she isn't, just as Orca Lady avoided my eyes, a sign that they don't want to communicate, negotiate, or even acknowledge that they could have possibly been wrong.

I say to the glass, and I say "glass" because this was like having a conversation with a brick wall, not a person, "I'm sorry, but that woman in front of you skipped ME. I was here first." The whole time I'm speaking, she's looking straight ahead, shaking her head, mouthing words and making hand gestures that I interpret to mean "I just drove around the whole station, I was here first."

"I can't hear you through glass, would you mind lowering your window just a crack so we can actually talk?" More head shaking.

I try to use logic on her, but a tactic like that is lost when dealing with people of this caliber. "Was that lady here when you pulled up? Was that person in front of you, RIGHT HERE when you pulled up the first time?"

She shakes her head "yes" and continues to mouth soundless words. I continue.

"Well, I was here BE-FORE that lady ever got here, don't you understand? She skipped ME first, I was here before either of YOU, and I was waiting on the first person to get out. My pump is on the PASSENGER SIDE, so I CAN'T line up like you guys. I had to wait on the OTHER SIDE of the car, and I was here before YOU TWO."

But she won't have any of it. She won't have a civilized conversation about this. To her, all that matters is beating me to the pump. It's just GAS, lady. Apparently that means more than manners, more than being polite, more than being human. Yeah, I went there.

I keep trying to get my point across, that the person in front of her skipped me in the first place, but this woman just can't seem to acknowledge the possibility that I was here before any of them, and keeps mouthing "I'm next, I'm next," as if she's giving up arguing with me, something that she never even participated in really.

I'm sure I'm making some sort of scene, that everyone else pumping up can hear me talking loudly to get through the glass barrier, but this woman needs to know she's wrong. Rude people who intentionally do things like this need to know they're wrong. I don't care if I get loud, I don't care how it looks. People like that can't get away scott free. They need something to remind them that they are in the wrong, so maybe next time they will think twice when they pull a stunt like this. Next time they may actually skip a much angrier and much more violent person than myself. Then there would be trouble.

It took all the strength I had not to call the woman a b--ch through the glass, and even more strength not to tell her "It's taking all the strength I have not to call you a b--ch through the glass." I walked away and just let it happen. Orca Lady pulls away. Idiot Woman pulls up. I just stand there, hanging on to the driver's side door and watch her as she pumps. I wish now that I would have gone back up to talk to her now that she was out from behind her sound-proof barrier of lies.

Another car soon pulls up behind the tracker. See, this side of the pumps had three pumping stations. The very first was out of order, the second, in which Orca Lady waited to skip me, was only for diesel, and the third was the one Idiot Woman was now at. This person who just pulled up has the gas tank on the passenger side, like I do, so he reverses into the pump. Jennifer asks "Do you want me to stand and wait behind the car so this guy doesn't take it?"

I reply "No, I don't think anyone else can be IDIOTIC enough to not realize I'm here waiting before them," and believe me I do stress the word "idiotic" so Idiot Woman can hear me.
She soon finishes fueling, and I call out to her "Thank you and good bye."

Luckily, the man at the diesel pump has just made a mistake, thinking the pump was a normal unleaded and premium pump, which is what I'm entirely sure Orca Lady and Idiot Woman thought when they arrived at what appeared to be two open pumps. Instead of rectifying their mistake by getting in line, they decided to just skip me once they saw they had the advantageous position of being behind the fueling car instead of in front, as I was. The man at the diesel did not have time to enact such a plan.

So finally, after much angry waiting, I was able to fuel up for my trip back home. That incident came close to ruining my mood for the whole drive back to Charlotte, and it's people like those two women that really make me hate other people sometimes and turn me into a misanthrope. They displayed two of the qualities I dislike most in others: rudeness and ignorance. Arrogance is another one of those qualities, but that's a story for another day.

--Cbake