"The End has come."

--The Return of the King

Movie Production Update #10

This is it. The End. The Big Finale. Fin. Finito.

Today is our last day of shooting, and we're gonna work from 2 PM to 2 AM in a pretty creepy swamp way out in the country. It's our furthest location yet, taking a whopping ten whole minutes to get there (it feels like eternity).

We're shooting the Alligator Man's scenes today, the Alligator Man being the local legendary monster in the movie. We finished the costume last night and I had to be the model so the costume designer could sew everything up. We were working in the Marina where we have torn down the Eli's Shanty set and rebuilt the eight-sided room of mirrors with hanging lights known as The Eternal Box. It was pretty surreal to walk into that room and see 30,000 different bipedal alligators with my face in their mouths.

Anyway, gotta fly. See ya on the flipside. And please pray we're not attacked by snakes, scorpions, spiders, flies, hornets, lizards, wildcats, bears, panthers, sloths, giant bats, praying mantii, catfish, and hyenas while we're out at the swamp tonight. Thanks.

--Cbake

Little Known Facts About Edenton, NC

Movie Production Update #9

I know, I know, I'm late with the updates and I've got stories coming out the wazoo ranging from instant tans to doubled paychecks and beyond. I'll write more when I have more time and energy, simple as that.

Until then, here are a few juicy trivia bits about Edenton, NC.

-Edenton was the first capital of North Carolina.

-There is no Wal-Mart.

-Edenton had it's very own, less well-known tea party before the Revolution.

-The only high school in town is called John Holmes High (formally John A. Holmes High until some senior stole the "A" last year).

-It's the smallest county in the state with the highest pregnancy rate.

-And STDs. There's a huge STD problem among the high schoolers.

Or so I hear...

*Cough*

--Cbake

"And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem..." *throws drink in face*

--Airplane!

Movie Production Update #8

Actors are strange folk. Let me go ahead and apologize to any dramatic type of person who may be reading this, like David's cousin, my cousin, or even the lovely Keira Knightley because I know she's secretly in love with me too and reads this blog like some people read the Bible...

Anyway, all people involved in the arts are weird in their own small, or sometimes overdramatic, way. Film geeks go nuts when anyone screws up their favorite comic book property, and they know every alien's name in the "Star Wars" films, even if the creature flashes onscreen for less than three tenths of a second. Painters and visual artists can be very emotional. Actors are always larger than life or extremely shy.

This is something most of us on the crew know because, well, we are all one of them. All of us love film. Most of us love to draw. Some of us even act from time to time.

And all of us love to party down.

The reason I brought all this up relates to the actors in our film and the product placement with Chateau St. Michelle wines that my father and I arranged. He was able to secure for our production four cases of wine from the Washington state based winery: a case of Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Riesling, and Pinot Gris. In exchange for the free wine, we place the wine in whichever scene allows for it, thus getting the wine seen by people who watch the movie.

But also, I've been giving out the wine to members of the crew, people in town who have helped our production, and I planned to hand a few bottles off to actors like _____ (name deleted to protect the innocent) as well.

So I ask (let's call him Mickey), "Hey Mickey, do you like wine?"

"Do I like wine?"

"Yeah, do you like to drink wine?"

"Oh yeah..." he says, "I like wine; Im just not allowed to have it."

Now I learn later that Mickey is on a strict diet because he has to be in the best shape of his life for a lot of fight scenes he will film in his next movie (which I have just learned is ROADHOUSE 2. Seriousy, a sequel to "Roadhouse"? And he's playing Patrick Swayze's brother. I'm amazed). So, a few days after that revelation I ask him "So, can you not drink wine because of the diet, or..."

This is always tricky, asking someone if they're not allowed to have wine for, shall we say, personal reasons. I would hate to have a few bottles of Chateau St. Michelle sent up to an actor's room only to learn later that he is a recovering alcoholic.

So I can't give any wine to W-- I mean, Mickey. Yesterday we shot a poker secene with four other actors. I ask each of them in private, "Do you like wine? We're having Chateau St. Michelle do some product placement and I'd love to give you a bottle or two as thanks for working on our movie," only to receive the reply "Oh no, I don't drink," or "I can't drink anymore; haven't for a long time," or "I have not had a single drink in twenty years."

Funny how that works out. Five of our big actors, sitting around this poker table, smoking, pretending to drink beers, and not a single one of them imbibes anymore.

Must be an actor thing. Must be a crazy life, pretending to be someone else all the time. I imagine that catches up with you after awhile as does the hectic, hyper lifestyle actors sometimes lead.

Oh well, I tried, and they were all nice about it at least; none seemed offended. All this means now is we have more free wine for the wrap party, which is a great way to make these young people on the crew aware of my father's great wine.

And by the way, that label again is Chateau St. Michelle, in case you missed it.

(jeez, my dad should be paying me for this)

--Cbake

"I'm not worthless! And I don't have fleas!"

--Aladdin

Movie Production Update #7

Well, that title's only half right. Last night the art department wasn't needed much for an outdoor shoot that lasted from 6 PM to 6 AM, so we went down to the Marina to work on the flea circus. I constructed a little circus flea out of blue modeling clay and used wire to create armatures for his arms and legs. His arms are outstretched, one arm clutching a cane, and his second set of arms are juggling four red circus balls (I used the wire to create an arch going from one hand to the other). He's sitting on a small barrel and he's even wearing a black top hat.

Needless to say, he's pretty cool, and he sits inside the empty round glass from a snow globe we dismantled for parts.

Tonight I took the bendy neck from a desk lamp and added a magnifying glass to one end of it while hooking the other end into the front of the suitcase flea circus. That way it looks like any townsperson can come by and manipulate the glass to see the tiny fleas walking the highwire or riding the carousel.

Either way, I just know that my Flea isn't going to show up that well on film. It'll be just like the jars I lost sleep over. And since he's made from Crayola Modeling Clay and not REAL clay (which Andrew couldn't find at Wal-Mart), we can't fire him and have him harden, so there's a real danger of him melting in the sun tomorrow. I do believe we will need a very special, private, air-conditioned room for P.T. Flea.

Anyway, Andrew is out of town so I'm sort of in charge. I have to get up at 5 to move all the stuff from the shanty (sarcophagus, trunks, my jars, etc) to my house so that we can later load it into a truck for the scene in which Will Patton's character, Eli Cottonmouth, comes into town. And then I have to move the flea circus and make sure it doesn't break- we only have one of them. And then I have to find an old timey cash register for the shoot tomorrow. And then.... and then I'm sure there will be something else for me to do.

Because there always is.

--Cbake


And I must say I'm really disappointed with how little time I've had to spend on these blogs lately. There's no real thought put into it anymore- I simply don't have the time, and so I feel like I'm really shortchanging you guys by not being able to put as much time and effort into my stories. I only have a small window of opportunity to write something, so it's always a first draft, and for that I apologize. You guys don't care no doubt, but it's something that bugs me nontheless.

"What's this 'Day of Rest' s--t?"

-- The Big Lebowski

Movie Production Update #6

I just worked a 36 hour day. I've been up for over 40 hours. The last time I slept was monday evening/tuesday afternoon, and I awoke to see Will Patton standing over me.

He and Mark were meeting about stuff, and Mark brought him into our house to show him some things and pick something up. Since we had a 4 PM shoot that day, all the crew got together and partied the night before (which was awesome by the way, the first time in a long time that I felt like I was in college again), so my boss Andrew was passed out on the floor, and I'm on my bed (the couch), half exposed under a sleeping bag. Not really the way you want to be seen by an A-list Hollywood actor.

The night shoot tuesday from 4:00 PM to 4:00 AM went well. Unfortunately, as soon as it was over, I had to start work on setting up the stage for the next day's shoot. That meant that as Rob the DP was heading to bed around 6 AM, he puzzled over seeing my car leave the driveway. He was even more puzzled to see me arrive when he awoke after 12.

All morning and afternoon I worked hard to prepare the shanty set we had built. I needed to clean seven pickle jars and fill them with different colored liquids and place different toys in them so as to appear like "oddities" that an old circus man like Will Patton's character would carry around. But the jar cleaning took a lot longer than expected, and I wanted to create a two-headed alien fetus toy from two baby dolls, and it took a lifetime to pull out every bit of hair on those rubber doll heads.

So, by the time I was finished, I had just enough time to go home, shower, check my email, and go off to the next 4 PM to 4 AM shoot. So, effectively, I just worked a 36 hour day. Wahoo. But hey, that's life on the movie set, no rest for the weary. Especially if you're in the art department. I was the only one on the crew to work a 4 to 4 shoot back to back without any sleep in between, and everyone could tell.

Course, it was Will Patton's first day of shooting, and he liked watching playback of the last take of each shot, and perhaps Mark was nervous about telling Will "Cut" and so on and so forth, but the day got started 2 hours later than it should have, and we were way behind in our schedule.

What that means is we had to cut one of the scenes we were shooting in the shanty.

What that means is we cut a scene that took place at the photo developer's table I had set up using my dad's old photo enlarger.

And what THAT means is we cut out the only scene that really featured all those jars full of alien babies, giant bugs, and shrunken heads that I had sacrificed all my sleep to finish in time.

But I'd rather not think about that last bit. I'd rather pass out. Can't have a beer; after being up for two straight days, I think I'd just black out.

In other news, I went home for a wedding of two old friends, which was nice, but since it was a Baptist wedding there were no drinks and most surprisingly NO dancing. Weird.

Weirder still was to find another old friend from high school working as a groomsman and hearing he just got engaged the previous week. You know, it used to just be really strange when friends of mine were getting married, but it's just getting scarier instead. From here on out, marriages are just going to be... well, normal.

Also, I was able to work out a product placement deal with my dad's wine company, Chateau St. Michelle, and he secured us four cases of wine to use on the movie shoot, which I have already done to much success (I hope).

As for me, it's time to pass out on the couch and enjoy slumber's sweet embrace for the first time in too long.


--Cbake



And oh yeah Mom, if I forget to call you tomorrow, which is likely to happen with all the sleeping and moviemaking I'm planning to partake in... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

"I Hit a Bird"

On my way home I hit a bird,
It made the strangest sound I'd ever heard.

It raced in front as if it were drunk
And bounced off my windshield with a muted *THUNK!*

A flash of yellow and a dash of black
Was turned to red and ain't coming back.

Before my car he tried to soar,
But the friendly skies he will fly no more.

For stupid birds should look both ways
Before crossing a highway in a misty haze.

--Cbake

"This is it- Don't get scared now."

--Home Alone

Movie Production Update #5

Well tomorrow (technically today) is the very first day of shooting, and it feels like all Hell is about to break loose, but the most wondrous kind of Hell we've never imagined. All kinds of problems and setbacks have arisen in the past few days, tempers have flared, people have been getting screwed, and things have looked grim. The schedule keeps changing, which really messes us up in the Art Department because we can't properly plan for things to happen and dress sets because we need to work on models, a flea circus, and a sarcophagus that the previous Production Designer (who was fired/resigned because he was too flakey) failed to complete on time as he had promised on his departure weeks ago.

Sigh.

Anyway, yesterday we had a pickle-eating contest to empty out a bunch of pickle jars I bought to use as set dressings. I'll fill them with bright colored liquids and large spider toys and other oddities to make them look like formaldahyde jars.

Also, the entire crew has showed up, and because the gaffer and a guy I assume is the camera guy has moved in, I have been kicked out of the room upstairs and now reside once again on the couch. Wonderful.

Tonight we had an all-crew meeting at the Acoustic Cafe and Mark gave his pre-shooting inspirational speech and all that. We all sat segregated according to departments: Us in the Art Dept at one table, the camera dept at another, the PAs off to one corner, etc etc.

But I need my sleep; I gotta get up at 7 AM and fix up things on the baseball field. Then I gotta finishing dressing a kid's bedroom, a living room, and then it's time to make models all day.

So I apologize that I can't really be witty about that. The production designer and I just realized we've been working for 19 hrs straight today.

So adios, amigos. See you on the flipside.

--Cbake

I just popped this out in 5 minutes.