Did I ever mention how much I hate people?
posted by Cbake at 4:37 PM
3 comments
Friday, January 28, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
The Goatee That Ate Manhattan
Sounds like a bad straight-to-video 1950s sci-fi/horror film, no? Probably one where the bad guys (in most cases aliens, in this case a killer goatee) were really just thinly veiled communists too, right?
Well never before did I think facial hair could create such revilement and disgust in people. As those of you who know me, and who have seen me these past few months, know, I've done something different with my usual appearance. Instead of being the clean-shaven baby-face Cbake or long haired, bearded, shaggy/Jesus-like Cbake everyone's seen before, I've grown my sideburns down to my chin and started growing out a goatee.
Why? Well why the heck not? I'm not trying to impress anyone. And really, once I start working, do you think anyone would allow a look as crazy as this to pass through the offices? No, I didn't think so. So why not do something weird while I can?
The past few months I've been keeping the goatee neatly trimmed so that my chin was comfortably fuzzy. But the last month and a half I said "Ehhh... screw it, who cares." Right? Who cares really? So I stopped trimming it.
And then morbid curiosity took over. How long could the goatee grow? What would it look like? Would it strike terror into the hearts of women and children everywhere? If it got long enough, could I braid it into separate entities? Or maybe give it one long braid like an Egyptain Pharaoh? Would it become sentient and develop a mind of its own, hell-bent for world domination (much like that episode of "The Tick")?
Run! Run for your lives! Fly you fools!
Before I could get that far, I visited some friends in Chapel Hill over the weekend. Upon my return to my homestead, I found an email in which certain females thought my goatee was too long and, in fact, made me look like a billy goat. "Billy Goat SCRUFF" they called me. Then I got into an Instant Messenger conversation with someone, who was speaking for three other people in the room too, in which they tried telling me the goatee looked awful and needed to come off.
"Someone could yank it and... and pull your face into the ground and... give you really bad whiplash to your neck and stuff, yeah," was one comment (badly paraphrased by yours truly).
I told them that at the moment I was typing, the goatee was parted in the middle into two goatees, and they were pointed inward at each other so it looked like a claw, or the mandibles to a praying mantis or other insect. The response?
"You just made Jtard sick" (with that comment). Jtard being a nickname much like Cbake.
Jeebus.
Anyway, what it all boils down to is this: I don't have a job. I don't have many friends that I see on a regular basis. Heck, I don't even get out of the house and go out in public much. And I got kind of tired of looking like a "pretty boy" with the clean-shaven face and nicely trimmed hair awhile ago. So I'm trying something different for the time being. Just to see what it looks like.
Curiosity has gotten the best of me, and I'm hoping it doesn't kill this cat. If it gets too out of hand, I'll cut it. Fact is, I've been overdue for a haircut for over a month now too, but I haven't taken care of that either. Why? Because it doesn't bother me. Yet.
So if this bothers you, let me know. If I look like a total darsh or imbecile, let me know that too. Chances are I'll say I won't care. 'Cause at the moment, I don't. If I did, I'd look like the same ole classic Cbake everyone is used to. But in the end, all the comments will add up. But what it will add up to is beyond me.
Maybe I'll just shave my head completely. Eyebrows too.
--Cbake
I know I badly need a haircut, but a shave too?
Well never before did I think facial hair could create such revilement and disgust in people. As those of you who know me, and who have seen me these past few months, know, I've done something different with my usual appearance. Instead of being the clean-shaven baby-face Cbake or long haired, bearded, shaggy/Jesus-like Cbake everyone's seen before, I've grown my sideburns down to my chin and started growing out a goatee.
Why? Well why the heck not? I'm not trying to impress anyone. And really, once I start working, do you think anyone would allow a look as crazy as this to pass through the offices? No, I didn't think so. So why not do something weird while I can?
The past few months I've been keeping the goatee neatly trimmed so that my chin was comfortably fuzzy. But the last month and a half I said "Ehhh... screw it, who cares." Right? Who cares really? So I stopped trimming it.
And then morbid curiosity took over. How long could the goatee grow? What would it look like? Would it strike terror into the hearts of women and children everywhere? If it got long enough, could I braid it into separate entities? Or maybe give it one long braid like an Egyptain Pharaoh? Would it become sentient and develop a mind of its own, hell-bent for world domination (much like that episode of "The Tick")?
Run! Run for your lives! Fly you fools!
Before I could get that far, I visited some friends in Chapel Hill over the weekend. Upon my return to my homestead, I found an email in which certain females thought my goatee was too long and, in fact, made me look like a billy goat. "Billy Goat SCRUFF" they called me. Then I got into an Instant Messenger conversation with someone, who was speaking for three other people in the room too, in which they tried telling me the goatee looked awful and needed to come off.
"Someone could yank it and... and pull your face into the ground and... give you really bad whiplash to your neck and stuff, yeah," was one comment (badly paraphrased by yours truly).
I told them that at the moment I was typing, the goatee was parted in the middle into two goatees, and they were pointed inward at each other so it looked like a claw, or the mandibles to a praying mantis or other insect. The response?
"You just made Jtard sick" (with that comment). Jtard being a nickname much like Cbake.
Jeebus.
Anyway, what it all boils down to is this: I don't have a job. I don't have many friends that I see on a regular basis. Heck, I don't even get out of the house and go out in public much. And I got kind of tired of looking like a "pretty boy" with the clean-shaven face and nicely trimmed hair awhile ago. So I'm trying something different for the time being. Just to see what it looks like.
Curiosity has gotten the best of me, and I'm hoping it doesn't kill this cat. If it gets too out of hand, I'll cut it. Fact is, I've been overdue for a haircut for over a month now too, but I haven't taken care of that either. Why? Because it doesn't bother me. Yet.
So if this bothers you, let me know. If I look like a total darsh or imbecile, let me know that too. Chances are I'll say I won't care. 'Cause at the moment, I don't. If I did, I'd look like the same ole classic Cbake everyone is used to. But in the end, all the comments will add up. But what it will add up to is beyond me.
Maybe I'll just shave my head completely. Eyebrows too.
--Cbake
I know I badly need a haircut, but a shave too?
posted by Cbake at 3:46 PM
14 comments
Monday, January 24, 2005
"Yes, he's alive. And in perfect hibernation."
--Lando Calrissian
To quote those annoying Taco Bell commercials, "I'm FULL!!!"
Yes, America and loyal readers, I have eaten. Quite a bit actually. Friday night at Chapel Hill I went to Ham's with Amanda before we hit up the Fisher Twins' B-day party. We had an appetizer, and I got a hamburger dinner, but had a terrible time trying to finish it. I hardly touched the delicious home-made chips. Guess my stomach has shrunk a lot more than I thought.
And in the morning, we went to Breadman's for breakfast. I got the omelette plate, but could only eat all the omelette, half the biscuit, and virtually none of the home fries.
I'm embarrassed for wasting so much money and food.
But driving home to Charlotte saturday night, I needed more food in my stomach to combat the alcohol from the previous night that still lay waste inside my body. So I stopped at Wendy's and got the cheapest combo there.
And I finished it all. And life was good.
And when I arrived home, my mother had cooked a big pot of Minestrone, and had a big tupperware full of leftovers for me to take home. And Life was better.
Then yesterday, I had a small bowl of the minestrone for lunch, and my father invited me to his new house for dinner. My new stepmom Paisley cooked a sumptuous feast of steak, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, shrimp, and rolls of bread.
I had all of the above with two pieces of steak and two rolls. Then, I was allowed to go back for seconds and added another two pieces of steak to my plate (for four total), and the rest of the pot of rice and the rest of the vegetables too.
And life was berry berry good. My stomach must be expanding, because I pounded away food like in the old days.
Or perhaps, as Jerome has mentioned, I am becomming more and more like a camel, storing away food (because I eat so rarely now) in some developing hump that will soon have people calling me Quasimodo and force me to construct a bell tower upstairs to go hide in.
And in a very strange turn of events, I slept for an extremely long time last night. I'm not trying to boast or gloat to all of you that have to wake up early each morning to go out and work. Because I really do envy you. In some ways.
No, I fell asleep around 2:15 AM. And I had terribly strange dreams. Long, epic tales of me joining with a band of talking whales, that lived in a lake and could beach themselves on the lakeshore at will, that jumped ashore and commanded me to help them find their ancient enemy and aid them in their War against their foes. So in my dream I was primarily in the water. The whole time. Just floating in a lake talking with animals, searching out the bad guys that hurt the whales.
And the whale and I found a shore with weird-looking ducks, and we asked them where we could find the Frogs and Toads, who were allies of the enemies, but also stool pigeons, and we could force them to talk. And underwater I see the horny-toads swimming away and hiding in the coral beneath us. They knew we'd beat the information out of them on where to find the bad guys, so they fled.
Then there was a speed-boat chase like in Face/Off, but with three boats, and they were heading straight toward me in the water, running over all the ducks and frogs in the way. And I got into a fight with some evil humans using the anchors for weapons. And the main bad guy, who was really an animal in disguise, fought with me too. And he was an actor like Leonardo Di Caprio or something. And the whales didn't even looks like real whales, nor did the ducks and toads. They were some weird, surrealistic cartoony representations with really big mouths that flapped up and down as they talked.
How bizarre.
The reason I told you about that strange dream is that I wonder if all the food I ate that day had some detrimental effect on my brain and thought patterns. Because I woke up today at 2:35 PM. That's right. I slept twelve freaking hours last night. So I ate a lot, slept a lot, and it was apparently 16 degrees this morning...
So I know there's a joke to be found here about me eating a lot of food and storing fat and hibernating for the harsh, cold winter... But I can't seem to find it.
Or maybe all that steak was just laced with peyote.
--Cbake
To quote those annoying Taco Bell commercials, "I'm FULL!!!"
Yes, America and loyal readers, I have eaten. Quite a bit actually. Friday night at Chapel Hill I went to Ham's with Amanda before we hit up the Fisher Twins' B-day party. We had an appetizer, and I got a hamburger dinner, but had a terrible time trying to finish it. I hardly touched the delicious home-made chips. Guess my stomach has shrunk a lot more than I thought.
And in the morning, we went to Breadman's for breakfast. I got the omelette plate, but could only eat all the omelette, half the biscuit, and virtually none of the home fries.
I'm embarrassed for wasting so much money and food.
But driving home to Charlotte saturday night, I needed more food in my stomach to combat the alcohol from the previous night that still lay waste inside my body. So I stopped at Wendy's and got the cheapest combo there.
And I finished it all. And life was good.
And when I arrived home, my mother had cooked a big pot of Minestrone, and had a big tupperware full of leftovers for me to take home. And Life was better.
Then yesterday, I had a small bowl of the minestrone for lunch, and my father invited me to his new house for dinner. My new stepmom Paisley cooked a sumptuous feast of steak, rice, broccoli, cauliflower, shrimp, and rolls of bread.
I had all of the above with two pieces of steak and two rolls. Then, I was allowed to go back for seconds and added another two pieces of steak to my plate (for four total), and the rest of the pot of rice and the rest of the vegetables too.
And life was berry berry good. My stomach must be expanding, because I pounded away food like in the old days.
Or perhaps, as Jerome has mentioned, I am becomming more and more like a camel, storing away food (because I eat so rarely now) in some developing hump that will soon have people calling me Quasimodo and force me to construct a bell tower upstairs to go hide in.
And in a very strange turn of events, I slept for an extremely long time last night. I'm not trying to boast or gloat to all of you that have to wake up early each morning to go out and work. Because I really do envy you. In some ways.
No, I fell asleep around 2:15 AM. And I had terribly strange dreams. Long, epic tales of me joining with a band of talking whales, that lived in a lake and could beach themselves on the lakeshore at will, that jumped ashore and commanded me to help them find their ancient enemy and aid them in their War against their foes. So in my dream I was primarily in the water. The whole time. Just floating in a lake talking with animals, searching out the bad guys that hurt the whales.
And the whale and I found a shore with weird-looking ducks, and we asked them where we could find the Frogs and Toads, who were allies of the enemies, but also stool pigeons, and we could force them to talk. And underwater I see the horny-toads swimming away and hiding in the coral beneath us. They knew we'd beat the information out of them on where to find the bad guys, so they fled.
Then there was a speed-boat chase like in Face/Off, but with three boats, and they were heading straight toward me in the water, running over all the ducks and frogs in the way. And I got into a fight with some evil humans using the anchors for weapons. And the main bad guy, who was really an animal in disguise, fought with me too. And he was an actor like Leonardo Di Caprio or something. And the whales didn't even looks like real whales, nor did the ducks and toads. They were some weird, surrealistic cartoony representations with really big mouths that flapped up and down as they talked.
How bizarre.
The reason I told you about that strange dream is that I wonder if all the food I ate that day had some detrimental effect on my brain and thought patterns. Because I woke up today at 2:35 PM. That's right. I slept twelve freaking hours last night. So I ate a lot, slept a lot, and it was apparently 16 degrees this morning...
So I know there's a joke to be found here about me eating a lot of food and storing fat and hibernating for the harsh, cold winter... But I can't seem to find it.
Or maybe all that steak was just laced with peyote.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 4:53 PM
5 comments
Saturday, January 22, 2005
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen..."
--Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
I went to Chapel Hill friday night to celebrate the 21st birthday of my friends the Fisher Twins, Dwight and Doug. It was a packed house with barely any little room to move. Your best plan was to find a corner or wall to lean against and just stand there all night and chat with friends who came by. There was no room for mingling. Unless you like having beer spilled all over you.
As the evening went on, however, the crowd thinned, and I left my comfort zone. I has only taken a few steps toward the couch when I heard a voice ask me a question, and a very strange conversation ensued. Here's a transcript of said strange conversation with a strange, tall, drunk blonde.
Stupid Blonde: (unseen) Are you a communist?
Me: (looking around, seeing her right beside him on the couch) Me? Uhhh. Yeah, sure. I've been told that.
Stupid Blonde: Cool.
Me: Yep. Uh, are you?
Stupid Blonde: I am.
Me: Cool, another commie. A regular card-carrying communist. You got a card?
Stupid Blonde: No, it wouldn't fit in my purse (holds up a really small purse).
Me: Ah, too bad. I don't know too many other communists. I know some socialists, but no communists.
Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...
Me: Yeah, my friends tease me and call me a commie or a pinko sometimes...
Stupid Blonde: (dumb, drunk stare) ...
Me: (looks away, takes a big sip of his drink) ...
Stupid Blonde: So which group are you in?
Me: There are different communist groups?
Stupid Blonde: Yeah. I'm in the 406.
Me: Oh, so it's kind of like a local communist group, huh?
Stupid Blonde: Yep. But I'm not from here, I'm from Connecticut.
Me: Oh, so what are you doing here?
Stupid Blonde: Getting a quality education.
Me: (trying to figure out if she's cute or not) Do you go to school here?
Stupid Blonde: (stares for a brief second) No, I go to ECU.
Me: (Damnit, back away and burn clothes) ...
Stupid Blonde: Actually the 406 is'nt real. My friends and I just made it up.
Me: Oh, cool... Yeah, like I said, I haven't met many other communists...
Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...
Me: (awkward silence) ...
Me: (looks away uncomfortably and finds someone else to talk to) ...
Then, five minutes later, I see her a few feet away talking to her girlfriend, and she's making big guestures with her hands. And this is what I hear-
Stupid Blonde: And I told him I was in the 406, which I totally just made up. He was sooo weird.
I start trying to tell my friend about this weird girl and how she out of nowhere asks if I'm a communist and that right now she's talking about me, but then they both glance my way and give me one of those "Hmmm, yeah he looks like he'd be a weirdo" kind of once-overs. And I'm thinking "What the f**k?"
But whatever. She was drinking a box of wine. Quality female.
--Cbake
I went to Chapel Hill friday night to celebrate the 21st birthday of my friends the Fisher Twins, Dwight and Doug. It was a packed house with barely any little room to move. Your best plan was to find a corner or wall to lean against and just stand there all night and chat with friends who came by. There was no room for mingling. Unless you like having beer spilled all over you.
As the evening went on, however, the crowd thinned, and I left my comfort zone. I has only taken a few steps toward the couch when I heard a voice ask me a question, and a very strange conversation ensued. Here's a transcript of said strange conversation with a strange, tall, drunk blonde.
Stupid Blonde: (unseen) Are you a communist?
Me: (looking around, seeing her right beside him on the couch) Me? Uhhh. Yeah, sure. I've been told that.
Stupid Blonde: Cool.
Me: Yep. Uh, are you?
Stupid Blonde: I am.
Me: Cool, another commie. A regular card-carrying communist. You got a card?
Stupid Blonde: No, it wouldn't fit in my purse (holds up a really small purse).
Me: Ah, too bad. I don't know too many other communists. I know some socialists, but no communists.
Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...
Me: Yeah, my friends tease me and call me a commie or a pinko sometimes...
Stupid Blonde: (dumb, drunk stare) ...
Me: (looks away, takes a big sip of his drink) ...
Stupid Blonde: So which group are you in?
Me: There are different communist groups?
Stupid Blonde: Yeah. I'm in the 406.
Me: Oh, so it's kind of like a local communist group, huh?
Stupid Blonde: Yep. But I'm not from here, I'm from Connecticut.
Me: Oh, so what are you doing here?
Stupid Blonde: Getting a quality education.
Me: (trying to figure out if she's cute or not) Do you go to school here?
Stupid Blonde: (stares for a brief second) No, I go to ECU.
Me: (Damnit, back away and burn clothes) ...
Stupid Blonde: Actually the 406 is'nt real. My friends and I just made it up.
Me: Oh, cool... Yeah, like I said, I haven't met many other communists...
Stupid Blonde: (dumb stare) ...
Me: (awkward silence) ...
Me: (looks away uncomfortably and finds someone else to talk to) ...
Then, five minutes later, I see her a few feet away talking to her girlfriend, and she's making big guestures with her hands. And this is what I hear-
Stupid Blonde: And I told him I was in the 406, which I totally just made up. He was sooo weird.
I start trying to tell my friend about this weird girl and how she out of nowhere asks if I'm a communist and that right now she's talking about me, but then they both glance my way and give me one of those "Hmmm, yeah he looks like he'd be a weirdo" kind of once-overs. And I'm thinking "What the f**k?"
But whatever. She was drinking a box of wine. Quality female.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 11:20 PM
8 comments
Thursday, January 20, 2005
"Barney's movie had heart, but 'Football In The Groin' had a football in the groin!"
Since I know the world must be dying to hear more intelligent thoughts spew forth from my cake-hole (and I'm bored), I think I shall give many of you a very special glimpse, a glimpse into...
... THE FUUUUUU-TUUUUURE!!!
Dramatic flair aside, here are a few of the movies I am looking forward to in 2005. Without another "Lord of the Rings" film, 2004 felt kind of lackluster compared to previous years. Sure, we had "The Incredibles" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "Spider-Man 2", and a few others ("The Aviator", "Sideways", "Anchorman"?), but as a whole the year didn't feel great.
That said, I have high hopes for 2005. Here are some flicks that I think will give us some quality entertainment:
STAR WARS: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith
Jar-Jar Binks aside (and Midi-chlorians to an extent), the Star Wars prequels, despite not being close to their predecessors in quality, still offered some moments of unabashed fun. That all ends this year. I mean, all that crappy stuff ends, the fun stuff continues.
I've been reading a lot about the final installment in the Star Wars saga, and it leads me to believe that George Lucas might have really knocked the ball out of the park on this one. Let's face it, THIS film is the whole reason the prequels were ever made in the first place. THIS is the film that shows us the destruction of the Republic and the rise of the Empire. THIS is the film that shows us the beginning of the downfall of the Jedi. THIS is the film where we see Anakin fall to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader. THIS is the film where we see Obi-Wan open a can of whoop-ass on the Chosen One.
And we got wookiees. We got Luke and Leia as babies. We got more Yoda light-saber action. We've got a space battle that is supposed to rival the one from "Return of the Jedi", we've got more decapitations and severed limbs. We've got death, darkness, and destruction.
And all because Anakin makes a temporary deal with the Devil for, what he perceives to be, the betterment of the universe. It's a Machiavellian move that damns him and the galaxy. But at the time, the moment he makes those weighty decisions, he thought he was doing the right thing (Like Bush!), but it has dire consequences for everyone around him (like Bush!).
Well, I'm excited. Sorry to go on a rant there. But I believe this one won't disappoint.
Best-trailer-of-last-year
WAR of the WORLDS
From the H.G. Welles classic novel, this looks like a return to the classic Spielberg film. Starring Tom Cruise, this modern update of the sci-fi story that spawned countless films like "Independence Day", looks to be a little more faithful than the George Pal version from the 60's (time period and setting excluded). But let's face it, the Spielberg name and the source material is what really gets me excited. The only thing that has me worried is the timeframe in which this film has been made. Spiels and co. rushed into production to ensure that this will be released in time for July 4th. That means he will have roughly three months for post-production when most movies take six months (unless you're George Lucas, and you take a year out for special FX).
But if anyone can deliver, it's Spiels.
TEASER
KING KONG
Peter Jackson, fresh off the success of his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy is finally given the greenlight and the power to remake a film very near and dear to his heart (and Spielberg's too), "King Kong". The remake promises to be much better than the 70s version (with Jeff "The Dude" Bridges and a very hot Jessica Lange) with impressive sets and spectacular visual effects. The same team that brought Gollum to life will do the same for Kong, and Andy Serkis, who played Smeagol/Gollum will bring his experience and vocal talents to portray Kong in the motion-capture studio as well. It should be a welcome thrill-ride.
In case you didn't know, Jackson tried to make this movie back in 1997, but with the impending releases of "Mighty Joe Young" and the "Godzilla" remakes, Universal Studios was afraid the Giant-Monster-Movie-Remake market was cornered. And when "Godzilla" flopped, Universal said no and Jackson was crushed. But had they said yes, we may have never gotten to see "Rings".
Behind-the-scenes-Video
KINGDOM of HEAVEN
Ridley Scott, having made the Oscar-winning "Gladiator", but losing the Best Director award to Soderbergh, attempts to win favor with the Academy again with this film about the battles fought during the Crusades in Jerusalem. I read the script this summer while working for his company, Scott Free, in Los Angeles, and I was lucky enough to be privy to many of his hand-drawn storyboards for the film as well. And let me say I was mucho impressed. Orlando Bloom is the lead, and while he's yet to truly prove himself in such a role, the supporting cast is terrific: Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Liam Neeson, and Edward Norton (who spends the entire film behind a mask as Jerusalem's leprosy-stricken King) just to name a few. One thing you can count on with a Ridley Scott film is that the cinematography will be beautiful. The man knows how to wield a camera and how to paint a picture.
Trailer
THE LION, THE WITCH, and THE WARDROBE
Well it's about time someone tried to make this beloved story into a feature-length film. It's funny how this film was greenlit thanks in part to the success of "The Lord of the Rings", and how both authors, C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were great friends. I don't know as much about this film as I should, other than the director of "Shrek" is helming this. What I find most important is, like "Rings", this is being shot in New Zealand and the FX company WETA will be in charge of bringing Narnia to life.
Featurette, not a trailer
SIN CITY
Never read the comic, but this nitty-gritty adaptation (Jessica Alba is hot) from Robert Rodriguez has an awesome cast (Jessica Alba is hot) and a very impressive style, taken straight from Frank Miller's iconic artwork. Did I mention Jessica Alba looks wicked hot in it too?
Trailer
DOMINO
From the other Scott brother, Tony Scott, comes this story of a real-life model turned bounty hunter named Domino. The script was written by cult-favorite Richard Kelly, who wrote and directed "Donnie Darko". I read this script while working for Scott Free over the summer and did a few breakdowns of it too. Unfortunately, I didn't get hired as a P.A. for the film (they must have heard about my burning desire to meet Keira Knightley), but I won't hold that against them. Tony is a flashy director and the script was cukoo-crazy. And again, this has an impressive cast too (read: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN). Looking forward to it. And Keira Knightley is hot.
No trailer yet.
BATMAN BEGINS
Finally, Warner Bros. gets their head on straight and hires someone who knows how to make QUALITY films, not crap like "Catwoman" and "Batman and Robin". Christopher Nolan, who made "Memento", is the director. Christian Bale is Batman, Katie Holmes his love interest. But it gets better: Liam Neeson is Wayne's mentor, Michael Caine is Alfred, Ken Wattanabe is Ras Al-Ghul, Cillian Murphy is the Scarecrow, Morgan Freeman is Wayne's business friend Lucius Fox, Rutger Hauer plays an executive looking to takeover Wayne's company, Tom Wilkinson plays a mob boss, and my most favorite casting, Gary Oldman plays Detective Jim Gordon (before he was Commissioner). Come on, this casting rocks. And Katie Holmes is hot.
Trailer
THE NEW WORLD
Writer/Director Terrence Malick is back with a film about the first meetings between Virginia settlers and the Native Americans who welcomed them. From what I've heard, it's a more realistic portrayal of the story of Pocahontas (plays a small part in the film, perhaps). Many didn't like it, some hated it, some loved it, but his earlier film "The Thin Red Line" about WWII is a favorite of mine. And like Ridley Scott, the man can show us some beaaaaautiful imagery.
Trailer
FANTASTIC FOUR
I'm really loathe to put this movie on the list, especially because it seems like they've screwed the pooch with it, but what the hey. It's a comic book. One of the definitive comic books for Marvel. But lemme tell you where they went wrong: the script, the director, the makeup.
I read a script for FF over the summer in LA, and it was AWESOME. Faithful to the source while making just enough small changes (like having Doom go up in the ship with the 4) to work for the movie, it piqued my interest. But what do the producers do? They hire someone to write a NEW script. And who do they hire to direct? Tim Story. I hear you-- "Who? Wha?" Yeah, Tim Story, that incredibly talented visual director who helmed "Barbershop" and the incredibly funny "Taxi" (I didn't see it, and in case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic).
And then there's the THING. They took away his pronounced brow. You know, those big, iconic eyebrows. Now the Thing looks like a retarded burn victim. But that's only from photos. The trailer shows a weeee bit more promise. But I don't know. I'm hoping for the best, but it's hard to hope when I read such a great script that had such potential. And then they threw it away.
And did I mention that Dr. Doom now owns a business, not a country, and he doesn't make his armor, it GROWS? Yeah, Cosmic Rays gave him the ability to grow bio-armor and to shoot electricity from his hands. Sigh. "War of the Worlds" will kill this.
At least Jessica Alba is hot.
Trailer
So that's all. Sorry if I geeked out a little bit on my first and final movies, but that's who I am. Can't separate the geek from the rest of me. There are a few other movies that I look forward to seeing, but either I don't know enough about them (Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride"), or I'm not sure what to think about the odd choices the filmmakers have made (Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" TEASER).
Then there's all the other films I forgot about. But here's to hoping 2005 is a rousing success.
And here's to hoping I get a job so I can pay to see all these films too.
--Cbake
... THE FUUUUUU-TUUUUURE!!!
Dramatic flair aside, here are a few of the movies I am looking forward to in 2005. Without another "Lord of the Rings" film, 2004 felt kind of lackluster compared to previous years. Sure, we had "The Incredibles" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "Spider-Man 2", and a few others ("The Aviator", "Sideways", "Anchorman"?), but as a whole the year didn't feel great.
That said, I have high hopes for 2005. Here are some flicks that I think will give us some quality entertainment:
STAR WARS: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith
Jar-Jar Binks aside (and Midi-chlorians to an extent), the Star Wars prequels, despite not being close to their predecessors in quality, still offered some moments of unabashed fun. That all ends this year. I mean, all that crappy stuff ends, the fun stuff continues.
I've been reading a lot about the final installment in the Star Wars saga, and it leads me to believe that George Lucas might have really knocked the ball out of the park on this one. Let's face it, THIS film is the whole reason the prequels were ever made in the first place. THIS is the film that shows us the destruction of the Republic and the rise of the Empire. THIS is the film that shows us the beginning of the downfall of the Jedi. THIS is the film where we see Anakin fall to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader. THIS is the film where we see Obi-Wan open a can of whoop-ass on the Chosen One.
And we got wookiees. We got Luke and Leia as babies. We got more Yoda light-saber action. We've got a space battle that is supposed to rival the one from "Return of the Jedi", we've got more decapitations and severed limbs. We've got death, darkness, and destruction.
And all because Anakin makes a temporary deal with the Devil for, what he perceives to be, the betterment of the universe. It's a Machiavellian move that damns him and the galaxy. But at the time, the moment he makes those weighty decisions, he thought he was doing the right thing (Like Bush!), but it has dire consequences for everyone around him (like Bush!).
Well, I'm excited. Sorry to go on a rant there. But I believe this one won't disappoint.
Best-trailer-of-last-year
WAR of the WORLDS
From the H.G. Welles classic novel, this looks like a return to the classic Spielberg film. Starring Tom Cruise, this modern update of the sci-fi story that spawned countless films like "Independence Day", looks to be a little more faithful than the George Pal version from the 60's (time period and setting excluded). But let's face it, the Spielberg name and the source material is what really gets me excited. The only thing that has me worried is the timeframe in which this film has been made. Spiels and co. rushed into production to ensure that this will be released in time for July 4th. That means he will have roughly three months for post-production when most movies take six months (unless you're George Lucas, and you take a year out for special FX).
But if anyone can deliver, it's Spiels.
TEASER
KING KONG
Peter Jackson, fresh off the success of his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy is finally given the greenlight and the power to remake a film very near and dear to his heart (and Spielberg's too), "King Kong". The remake promises to be much better than the 70s version (with Jeff "The Dude" Bridges and a very hot Jessica Lange) with impressive sets and spectacular visual effects. The same team that brought Gollum to life will do the same for Kong, and Andy Serkis, who played Smeagol/Gollum will bring his experience and vocal talents to portray Kong in the motion-capture studio as well. It should be a welcome thrill-ride.
In case you didn't know, Jackson tried to make this movie back in 1997, but with the impending releases of "Mighty Joe Young" and the "Godzilla" remakes, Universal Studios was afraid the Giant-Monster-Movie-Remake market was cornered. And when "Godzilla" flopped, Universal said no and Jackson was crushed. But had they said yes, we may have never gotten to see "Rings".
Behind-the-scenes-Video
KINGDOM of HEAVEN
Ridley Scott, having made the Oscar-winning "Gladiator", but losing the Best Director award to Soderbergh, attempts to win favor with the Academy again with this film about the battles fought during the Crusades in Jerusalem. I read the script this summer while working for his company, Scott Free, in Los Angeles, and I was lucky enough to be privy to many of his hand-drawn storyboards for the film as well. And let me say I was mucho impressed. Orlando Bloom is the lead, and while he's yet to truly prove himself in such a role, the supporting cast is terrific: Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Liam Neeson, and Edward Norton (who spends the entire film behind a mask as Jerusalem's leprosy-stricken King) just to name a few. One thing you can count on with a Ridley Scott film is that the cinematography will be beautiful. The man knows how to wield a camera and how to paint a picture.
Trailer
THE LION, THE WITCH, and THE WARDROBE
Well it's about time someone tried to make this beloved story into a feature-length film. It's funny how this film was greenlit thanks in part to the success of "The Lord of the Rings", and how both authors, C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were great friends. I don't know as much about this film as I should, other than the director of "Shrek" is helming this. What I find most important is, like "Rings", this is being shot in New Zealand and the FX company WETA will be in charge of bringing Narnia to life.
Featurette, not a trailer
SIN CITY
Never read the comic, but this nitty-gritty adaptation (Jessica Alba is hot) from Robert Rodriguez has an awesome cast (Jessica Alba is hot) and a very impressive style, taken straight from Frank Miller's iconic artwork. Did I mention Jessica Alba looks wicked hot in it too?
Trailer
DOMINO
From the other Scott brother, Tony Scott, comes this story of a real-life model turned bounty hunter named Domino. The script was written by cult-favorite Richard Kelly, who wrote and directed "Donnie Darko". I read this script while working for Scott Free over the summer and did a few breakdowns of it too. Unfortunately, I didn't get hired as a P.A. for the film (they must have heard about my burning desire to meet Keira Knightley), but I won't hold that against them. Tony is a flashy director and the script was cukoo-crazy. And again, this has an impressive cast too (read: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN). Looking forward to it. And Keira Knightley is hot.
No trailer yet.
BATMAN BEGINS
Finally, Warner Bros. gets their head on straight and hires someone who knows how to make QUALITY films, not crap like "Catwoman" and "Batman and Robin". Christopher Nolan, who made "Memento", is the director. Christian Bale is Batman, Katie Holmes his love interest. But it gets better: Liam Neeson is Wayne's mentor, Michael Caine is Alfred, Ken Wattanabe is Ras Al-Ghul, Cillian Murphy is the Scarecrow, Morgan Freeman is Wayne's business friend Lucius Fox, Rutger Hauer plays an executive looking to takeover Wayne's company, Tom Wilkinson plays a mob boss, and my most favorite casting, Gary Oldman plays Detective Jim Gordon (before he was Commissioner). Come on, this casting rocks. And Katie Holmes is hot.
Trailer
THE NEW WORLD
Writer/Director Terrence Malick is back with a film about the first meetings between Virginia settlers and the Native Americans who welcomed them. From what I've heard, it's a more realistic portrayal of the story of Pocahontas (plays a small part in the film, perhaps). Many didn't like it, some hated it, some loved it, but his earlier film "The Thin Red Line" about WWII is a favorite of mine. And like Ridley Scott, the man can show us some beaaaaautiful imagery.
Trailer
FANTASTIC FOUR
I'm really loathe to put this movie on the list, especially because it seems like they've screwed the pooch with it, but what the hey. It's a comic book. One of the definitive comic books for Marvel. But lemme tell you where they went wrong: the script, the director, the makeup.
I read a script for FF over the summer in LA, and it was AWESOME. Faithful to the source while making just enough small changes (like having Doom go up in the ship with the 4) to work for the movie, it piqued my interest. But what do the producers do? They hire someone to write a NEW script. And who do they hire to direct? Tim Story. I hear you-- "Who? Wha?" Yeah, Tim Story, that incredibly talented visual director who helmed "Barbershop" and the incredibly funny "Taxi" (I didn't see it, and in case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic).
And then there's the THING. They took away his pronounced brow. You know, those big, iconic eyebrows. Now the Thing looks like a retarded burn victim. But that's only from photos. The trailer shows a weeee bit more promise. But I don't know. I'm hoping for the best, but it's hard to hope when I read such a great script that had such potential. And then they threw it away.
And did I mention that Dr. Doom now owns a business, not a country, and he doesn't make his armor, it GROWS? Yeah, Cosmic Rays gave him the ability to grow bio-armor and to shoot electricity from his hands. Sigh. "War of the Worlds" will kill this.
At least Jessica Alba is hot.
Trailer
So that's all. Sorry if I geeked out a little bit on my first and final movies, but that's who I am. Can't separate the geek from the rest of me. There are a few other movies that I look forward to seeing, but either I don't know enough about them (Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride"), or I'm not sure what to think about the odd choices the filmmakers have made (Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" TEASER).
Then there's all the other films I forgot about. But here's to hoping 2005 is a rousing success.
And here's to hoping I get a job so I can pay to see all these films too.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 6:09 PM
5 comments
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
"Tell him to march a thousand paces in that direction, and then he can take off the blind fold; we'll be gone..."
"... And he's to turn himself into the first allied patrol he comes across."
(Demon Rat War: Update #7)
"You gotta be kidding me, we're letting him go?"
"He's a POW, Reiben, can't take him with us."
FUBAR. That's what I was thinking, FUBAR.
I made a new friend last week. A new friend I dubbed Ratty, in honor of Mole's best friend in Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows. Rat activity has died down in the last week, but partly because I have gotten slack in my recon missions. I haven't had any laundry to do lately, and I've been busy with other real life situations (like making job contacts and doing some video-work for free; more on that later), so Rat-spying in the basement has been on my low list of priorities. That said, I've noticed that the packet of rat poison on the ledge to the crawlspace has disappeared. Chances are, the Demon Rat's bulk has knocked it over, just like he did the glue traps, but I suppose it is possible they dragged it off to their nest and are now dying comfortably in some god-awful corner of darkness.
All but one, anyway. When I went downstairs the other day, I found a Rat in the Have-A-Heart trap next to the dryer. Alive. He was the smaller, brown Rat I mentioned in my last update. And he seemed weak and feeble, like maybe he had a little too much rat poison to eat earlier that day.
So here are my options:
1. I release him into the wild and let him die on his own. Perhaps an owl or cat will pick him off before he keels over.
2. I keep him in the cage until he dies (if he did in fact ingest rat poison).
C. If rat poison has not been ingested, I leave him in the cage to starve to death.
And finally,
5. I shoot him in the head and end his misery.
I called my father to ask his opinion, and he said the Rat was probably weak and feeble from jumping around, trying to escape, and if I let him out into the wild, he will most likely head back to the house to terrorize us later. So he left the options up to me. Well, I didn't feel like shooting a caged animal, and by the time my dad called me back, the sun had gone down and it was pretty dark. So I didn't feel like letting him go either.
But hey, a friend just called and she's down the street at a local bar. There's another option to pursue! So I go to Jackalope Jack's, meet Jennifer and Erica, Trent meets us over there later, we have a few drinks, watch some people embarass themselves at karaoke, and a good, merry time was had by all.
Two AM rolls around and I'm back at home, still contemplating what to do with the Rat. My friend Mary has convinced me over Instant Messenger that letting him go is the humane thing to do. But it's daaaaaark, I don't wannna go outside in the cooooold. So I gotta make sure he survives 'till morning, right? Right? So, I... I go upstairs and grab a handful of cereal, then I kinda stumble back down in the basement and toss some corn flakes his way, a few pieces of dried strawberry and blueberry for fruity goodness.
Hey Mikey, he likes it! He chows down, even accepting flakes from my fingers. Woohoo, Ratty is eating. Yes, I'm calling him Ratty now. He's in a cage, in my basement, I own him, he is mine. He is Ratty.
(Okay, enough pseudo-drunk talk for effect, let's get down to business.)
I also fetched a small saucer, often used for soy sauce and wasabi when eating sushi, and fill it with water so he will be hydrated when the sun comes up. He drinks from this too. And now I can go to bed with a clear conscience that I haven't killed a trapped Rat that had a chance for a happy life elsewhere (just not in my house).
Morning comes around (or I should say, 1 in the afternoon), and Ratty is still alive. I feed him some more, so he has energy enough to escape his release later on, and then put him in the car. I drive down to my mom's house, which is three houses down the street, and take my camera.
I get my mom because I want to show her my new "pet". She agrees he's kinda cute up close. Cept for that tail. Those nasty, thick, scaley, sickly pinkish-brown tails that creep us all out. After a few pictures and a warning in which I inform Ratty that if he is to come back in my house, I won't hesitate to shoot him, I open the cage and release him back into the wild.
I say, "I open the cage and release you back into the wild. Go on. Shoo. Get out of here... Uhm... Scat?"
I had expected Ratty to make a desperate run for it, a mad dash to the safety of the underbrush nearby. But no. Ratty just kinda falls out of the trap and sits there for a moment. Then he starts cleaning himself and preening. I'm hesitant, waiting any moment for him to take off in a flash, like they do in the basment. I'm on my guard, in case he turns on me and tries to scramble up under my pants leg.
But no, Ratty just looks at me. If anything, he looks like he's taking a few steps towards me. What does he expect, more food? "Go on! Get outta here!" I cry. But it's no use. He isn't bothered by the bright sunlight. Or the dogs barking nearby. Or the fact that he has two large humans standing over him at the edge of a parking lot. He's just taking his time, doing his business, defiant in the face of his captors. Maybe he wants to march away proud, not cowering in fear.
Or maybe he's still shookup from being trapped in a cage all night. "Go west!" My mom cries. "Go west and be free, seek your fortune!"
Whatever, I can't waste anymore time on this. So I start making funny noises and wave my arms from side to side, dancing on one foot and then the other in his direction. I'm sure I'm making the stupidest face ever.
He isn't phased. Not until I crunch a dead leaf under my foot does he pick up the pace and actually hop a few steps away. So I crunch more and more leaves until he's finally spooked enough to reach the borders of the woods. But even then I have to make sure he's safe under a long mass of tangled weeds and dead leaves before I can leave him.
I kind of grew attached to Ratty, and was surprised by how tame he was once he was in the cage. He didn't cower like the Rats usually do in my presence, and he was willing to take food from my hands. I'd be lying to you if I didn't, for ONE moment, consider keeping him in my old snake terrarium as a pet. He really wasn't that ugly. Cept for that blasted Devil-tail.
I've read that Rats are easily tamed. They can distinguish between our languages (at least English, Dutch, and Japanese I think). And they're even being hailed as heroes for their landmine work in Africa.
It's the Helsinki Syndrome in effect.
"As in, Helsinki Sweden."
"...Uhh , Finland."
Well good luck buddy. It's a big, wide world out there. I should have tagged your tail so I'd know it's you if we come face to face again in the basement. But for your sake, I would hope that we don't.
--Cbake
Cbake Is Willard
(Demon Rat War: Update #7)
"You gotta be kidding me, we're letting him go?"
"He's a POW, Reiben, can't take him with us."
FUBAR. That's what I was thinking, FUBAR.
I made a new friend last week. A new friend I dubbed Ratty, in honor of Mole's best friend in Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows. Rat activity has died down in the last week, but partly because I have gotten slack in my recon missions. I haven't had any laundry to do lately, and I've been busy with other real life situations (like making job contacts and doing some video-work for free; more on that later), so Rat-spying in the basement has been on my low list of priorities. That said, I've noticed that the packet of rat poison on the ledge to the crawlspace has disappeared. Chances are, the Demon Rat's bulk has knocked it over, just like he did the glue traps, but I suppose it is possible they dragged it off to their nest and are now dying comfortably in some god-awful corner of darkness.
All but one, anyway. When I went downstairs the other day, I found a Rat in the Have-A-Heart trap next to the dryer. Alive. He was the smaller, brown Rat I mentioned in my last update. And he seemed weak and feeble, like maybe he had a little too much rat poison to eat earlier that day.
So here are my options:
1. I release him into the wild and let him die on his own. Perhaps an owl or cat will pick him off before he keels over.
2. I keep him in the cage until he dies (if he did in fact ingest rat poison).
C. If rat poison has not been ingested, I leave him in the cage to starve to death.
And finally,
5. I shoot him in the head and end his misery.
I called my father to ask his opinion, and he said the Rat was probably weak and feeble from jumping around, trying to escape, and if I let him out into the wild, he will most likely head back to the house to terrorize us later. So he left the options up to me. Well, I didn't feel like shooting a caged animal, and by the time my dad called me back, the sun had gone down and it was pretty dark. So I didn't feel like letting him go either.
But hey, a friend just called and she's down the street at a local bar. There's another option to pursue! So I go to Jackalope Jack's, meet Jennifer and Erica, Trent meets us over there later, we have a few drinks, watch some people embarass themselves at karaoke, and a good, merry time was had by all.
Two AM rolls around and I'm back at home, still contemplating what to do with the Rat. My friend Mary has convinced me over Instant Messenger that letting him go is the humane thing to do. But it's daaaaaark, I don't wannna go outside in the cooooold. So I gotta make sure he survives 'till morning, right? Right? So, I... I go upstairs and grab a handful of cereal, then I kinda stumble back down in the basement and toss some corn flakes his way, a few pieces of dried strawberry and blueberry for fruity goodness.
Hey Mikey, he likes it! He chows down, even accepting flakes from my fingers. Woohoo, Ratty is eating. Yes, I'm calling him Ratty now. He's in a cage, in my basement, I own him, he is mine. He is Ratty.
(Okay, enough pseudo-drunk talk for effect, let's get down to business.)
I also fetched a small saucer, often used for soy sauce and wasabi when eating sushi, and fill it with water so he will be hydrated when the sun comes up. He drinks from this too. And now I can go to bed with a clear conscience that I haven't killed a trapped Rat that had a chance for a happy life elsewhere (just not in my house).
Morning comes around (or I should say, 1 in the afternoon), and Ratty is still alive. I feed him some more, so he has energy enough to escape his release later on, and then put him in the car. I drive down to my mom's house, which is three houses down the street, and take my camera.
I get my mom because I want to show her my new "pet". She agrees he's kinda cute up close. Cept for that tail. Those nasty, thick, scaley, sickly pinkish-brown tails that creep us all out. After a few pictures and a warning in which I inform Ratty that if he is to come back in my house, I won't hesitate to shoot him, I open the cage and release him back into the wild.
I say, "I open the cage and release you back into the wild. Go on. Shoo. Get out of here... Uhm... Scat?"
I had expected Ratty to make a desperate run for it, a mad dash to the safety of the underbrush nearby. But no. Ratty just kinda falls out of the trap and sits there for a moment. Then he starts cleaning himself and preening. I'm hesitant, waiting any moment for him to take off in a flash, like they do in the basment. I'm on my guard, in case he turns on me and tries to scramble up under my pants leg.
But no, Ratty just looks at me. If anything, he looks like he's taking a few steps towards me. What does he expect, more food? "Go on! Get outta here!" I cry. But it's no use. He isn't bothered by the bright sunlight. Or the dogs barking nearby. Or the fact that he has two large humans standing over him at the edge of a parking lot. He's just taking his time, doing his business, defiant in the face of his captors. Maybe he wants to march away proud, not cowering in fear.
Or maybe he's still shookup from being trapped in a cage all night. "Go west!" My mom cries. "Go west and be free, seek your fortune!"
Whatever, I can't waste anymore time on this. So I start making funny noises and wave my arms from side to side, dancing on one foot and then the other in his direction. I'm sure I'm making the stupidest face ever.
He isn't phased. Not until I crunch a dead leaf under my foot does he pick up the pace and actually hop a few steps away. So I crunch more and more leaves until he's finally spooked enough to reach the borders of the woods. But even then I have to make sure he's safe under a long mass of tangled weeds and dead leaves before I can leave him.
I kind of grew attached to Ratty, and was surprised by how tame he was once he was in the cage. He didn't cower like the Rats usually do in my presence, and he was willing to take food from my hands. I'd be lying to you if I didn't, for ONE moment, consider keeping him in my old snake terrarium as a pet. He really wasn't that ugly. Cept for that blasted Devil-tail.
I've read that Rats are easily tamed. They can distinguish between our languages (at least English, Dutch, and Japanese I think). And they're even being hailed as heroes for their landmine work in Africa.
It's the Helsinki Syndrome in effect.
"As in, Helsinki Sweden."
"...Uhh , Finland."
Well good luck buddy. It's a big, wide world out there. I should have tagged your tail so I'd know it's you if we come face to face again in the basement. But for your sake, I would hope that we don't.
--Cbake
Cbake Is Willard
posted by Cbake at 3:39 PM
13 comments
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
"Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this!"
--HOOK
You hear that low rumbling in the distance? What sounds like the tectonic plates shifting? Prolonged thunder? It's not an earthquake, nor an impending tsunami. It just very well may be my stomach, intensely growling, impatiently awaiting appeasement with sustenance.
You see, I've found a flaw to living at home, and that is that *I* am now my primary caretaker as far as providing food is concerned. Not that I couldn't make my own sandwich or fix food on my own before. But when I had parents around, I could at least count on the fridge being filled with more than just condiments.
As many of you now know, my father ended his 17 years of bachleorhood over Christmas break and married an old girlfriend of his. Together, they bought a new house out at Lake Norman, and since then he has moved up all his clothes and office supplies and has been, well, practically living there. So now I live alone in his old house, taking care of the dogs, and pretty much being a bum. To spell it out: My father is no longer here, therefore he no longer goes grocery shopping for this residence.
What about my mom? She lives down the street, three houses down, right? True. Why don't I just go there to eat? 'Cause, well, I don't really know. I think it's because I feel like a bum everytime I go there. I'm embarassed and ashamed, like the only reason I come down to my mom's is to eat, not to see my mother and enjoy her company.
If I "sneak" over in the afternoon, well there's a chance she may be there, and then I just feel really bad. So what about dinner? Sometimes I'll ask my mom what her plans are, but she has her own life. She usually fixes herself a salad or something before heading out with her evening plans, so we'll maybe have dinner once a week, if that.
What this all boils down to is this: I don't eat anymore. In school I mastered the art of living without sleep, going as much as 50 plus hours without rest when schoolwork/media production required me to stay up and shoot and edit vidoes and write papers and such. Now, living back at home, I'm mastering the art of not eating. But this isn't really a respectable "art" to be a master at, I realize.
"Why don't you just go out and buy your own food?" I must be stubborn. Because the whole reason I chose to live at home was to save money, so eventually I could move away to Los Angeles or something. So not eating is a way for me to conserve money. When I went grocery shopping over the summer, my bill averaged around fifty dollars for milk, cereal, sandwich supplies and the like. If I kept that average up here in Charlotte, I'd be broke within a month.
"Why not go and get fast food when you're hungry?" Stubborness again. I'm just trying to save money. I think if I went to Wendy's and got a JR Bacon Cheeseburger from the ONE DOLLAR VALUE MEAL, it would only tease my appetite without bedding her back down again. It would make me hungrier, and then my hunger pains would increase. See? I'm so damned stubborn I WON'T EVEN GET FAST FOOD THAT COSTS A DOLLAR! Besides, if that's all I ate, I'm sure my health would deteriorate.
Sometimes I can trick my body into thinking I've eaten. This is most easily achieved by getting dressed and brushing my teeth and getting out of the house. I think my conditioned brain, upon realizing my teeth are now clean, assumes this is so because I've just had a meal. And then my stomach stops crying out for food.
So I don't have breakfast anymore. It used to be my favorite meal. I couldn't function without cereal first thing in the morning. And if I have lunch, I won't have dinner, and vice versa. Last week I had lunch with my mom, but did not have dinner. The next day- no breakfast, no lunch, but I did have dinner with my mom. So that's what, a day and a half without food? The other day my lunch was popcorn at a movie theater because that's what my babysitting job entailed. I got lucky that evening and was invited to a Going Away/Birthday dinner by a friend.
Today all I've had to eat has been a buttered roll (leftovers from last week's dinner, courtesy of my mom). The most I'll ever eat is when I am invited to dinner by my mom or grandmother, and then I pig out, refuelling for the next few days. I'm really lucky when I babysit, because sometimes my uncle or aunt won't make it home until around dinner-time, so I am often fortunate enough to be invited to stay. You better believe I appreciate that.
And meeting friends for lunch or dinner is a great excuse to eat, but I usually vote against such meetings, or in the least hope for a cheap restaurant. And when we do go to such a place, I usually try and order the cheapest thing on the menu, unless its a special occasion.
I've dropped about five pounds, as far as I can tell, from this "Starvation diet". But my friend Mary was wise to clue me into the fact that once I start eating again, I will gain weight. Lots of it. My metabolism will have gotten so used to burning very few calories that once I start eating normally again, I won't burn as many calories as I should, and that will build up as fat. And we can't have that, now can we?
So don't worry folks, I still eat. I will eat again. I think once my fridge runs out of water bottles, THEN I just might make a trip to the grocery store for milk and cereal. Or at the very least, bread. I'm sure there is some good peanut butter left in the cabinets, unless my father has pilfered that too. And ONCE I get a job, I will most definitely start buying food, there's no question there. Just until then, I'm being thrifty. But my body can handle it. I'm pretty sure my stomach is shrinking. As anyone knows, I can pound away a LOT of food, but nowadays, I think I'm learning to not be so hungry. It's 5:30 right now, and I could eat, if faced with food, but I don't feel any overwhelming desire to stuff my face. I'm adapting.
But, that's not necessarily a good thing. At least I'm learning to be humble, I suppose. Mmmmm... humble pie... *drooool*...
--Cbake
You hear that low rumbling in the distance? What sounds like the tectonic plates shifting? Prolonged thunder? It's not an earthquake, nor an impending tsunami. It just very well may be my stomach, intensely growling, impatiently awaiting appeasement with sustenance.
You see, I've found a flaw to living at home, and that is that *I* am now my primary caretaker as far as providing food is concerned. Not that I couldn't make my own sandwich or fix food on my own before. But when I had parents around, I could at least count on the fridge being filled with more than just condiments.
As many of you now know, my father ended his 17 years of bachleorhood over Christmas break and married an old girlfriend of his. Together, they bought a new house out at Lake Norman, and since then he has moved up all his clothes and office supplies and has been, well, practically living there. So now I live alone in his old house, taking care of the dogs, and pretty much being a bum. To spell it out: My father is no longer here, therefore he no longer goes grocery shopping for this residence.
What about my mom? She lives down the street, three houses down, right? True. Why don't I just go there to eat? 'Cause, well, I don't really know. I think it's because I feel like a bum everytime I go there. I'm embarassed and ashamed, like the only reason I come down to my mom's is to eat, not to see my mother and enjoy her company.
If I "sneak" over in the afternoon, well there's a chance she may be there, and then I just feel really bad. So what about dinner? Sometimes I'll ask my mom what her plans are, but she has her own life. She usually fixes herself a salad or something before heading out with her evening plans, so we'll maybe have dinner once a week, if that.
What this all boils down to is this: I don't eat anymore. In school I mastered the art of living without sleep, going as much as 50 plus hours without rest when schoolwork/media production required me to stay up and shoot and edit vidoes and write papers and such. Now, living back at home, I'm mastering the art of not eating. But this isn't really a respectable "art" to be a master at, I realize.
"Why don't you just go out and buy your own food?" I must be stubborn. Because the whole reason I chose to live at home was to save money, so eventually I could move away to Los Angeles or something. So not eating is a way for me to conserve money. When I went grocery shopping over the summer, my bill averaged around fifty dollars for milk, cereal, sandwich supplies and the like. If I kept that average up here in Charlotte, I'd be broke within a month.
"Why not go and get fast food when you're hungry?" Stubborness again. I'm just trying to save money. I think if I went to Wendy's and got a JR Bacon Cheeseburger from the ONE DOLLAR VALUE MEAL, it would only tease my appetite without bedding her back down again. It would make me hungrier, and then my hunger pains would increase. See? I'm so damned stubborn I WON'T EVEN GET FAST FOOD THAT COSTS A DOLLAR! Besides, if that's all I ate, I'm sure my health would deteriorate.
Sometimes I can trick my body into thinking I've eaten. This is most easily achieved by getting dressed and brushing my teeth and getting out of the house. I think my conditioned brain, upon realizing my teeth are now clean, assumes this is so because I've just had a meal. And then my stomach stops crying out for food.
So I don't have breakfast anymore. It used to be my favorite meal. I couldn't function without cereal first thing in the morning. And if I have lunch, I won't have dinner, and vice versa. Last week I had lunch with my mom, but did not have dinner. The next day- no breakfast, no lunch, but I did have dinner with my mom. So that's what, a day and a half without food? The other day my lunch was popcorn at a movie theater because that's what my babysitting job entailed. I got lucky that evening and was invited to a Going Away/Birthday dinner by a friend.
Today all I've had to eat has been a buttered roll (leftovers from last week's dinner, courtesy of my mom). The most I'll ever eat is when I am invited to dinner by my mom or grandmother, and then I pig out, refuelling for the next few days. I'm really lucky when I babysit, because sometimes my uncle or aunt won't make it home until around dinner-time, so I am often fortunate enough to be invited to stay. You better believe I appreciate that.
And meeting friends for lunch or dinner is a great excuse to eat, but I usually vote against such meetings, or in the least hope for a cheap restaurant. And when we do go to such a place, I usually try and order the cheapest thing on the menu, unless its a special occasion.
I've dropped about five pounds, as far as I can tell, from this "Starvation diet". But my friend Mary was wise to clue me into the fact that once I start eating again, I will gain weight. Lots of it. My metabolism will have gotten so used to burning very few calories that once I start eating normally again, I won't burn as many calories as I should, and that will build up as fat. And we can't have that, now can we?
So don't worry folks, I still eat. I will eat again. I think once my fridge runs out of water bottles, THEN I just might make a trip to the grocery store for milk and cereal. Or at the very least, bread. I'm sure there is some good peanut butter left in the cabinets, unless my father has pilfered that too. And ONCE I get a job, I will most definitely start buying food, there's no question there. Just until then, I'm being thrifty. But my body can handle it. I'm pretty sure my stomach is shrinking. As anyone knows, I can pound away a LOT of food, but nowadays, I think I'm learning to not be so hungry. It's 5:30 right now, and I could eat, if faced with food, but I don't feel any overwhelming desire to stuff my face. I'm adapting.
But, that's not necessarily a good thing. At least I'm learning to be humble, I suppose. Mmmmm... humble pie... *drooool*...
--Cbake
Hello Ladies, see anything that you like?
posted by Cbake at 5:06 PM
5 comments
Monday, January 10, 2005
"You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo steel."
--Kill Bill
The Demon Rat War: Update #6
Three down, three to go. When we arrived home from our skiing trip back in December, my dad and I added two more rats to the "Deceased" list of our unwanted guests. After being gone from the house for five days, I was curious to see how the Rats had rearranged the basement, so downstairs was the first place I went when we got back home. Moments after I reached the bottom step, I heard a rustling in the corner.
The Demon Rat was coming out to face me.
I had only a split second to blab out "Ahhh! It's him- the Demon Rat- hurry hurry- he's running up the wood- he's coming- come on- hurry up- gaaah!" but it came out all jumbled and garbled because I was so surprised to see Him. He ran up the wood, and once he saw me, there was a milisecond of hesitation and he paused. I'm jumping up and down and screaming, but he presses on, runs in my direction up the wood, then hops up into the crawlspace. That bastard is fearless.
My dad says I should have brought the gun down with me, but I wasn't expecting to see Him so soon. So I go back upstairs and unpack. When I go back to the basement, I find my dad at the bottom of the steps, pellet gun in hand, crouched like a hunter who's spotted his prey. He signals me to be quiet, then points to the dryer. I understand the code, so I move quietly to the machine and turn it on. After a few seconds, the pellet gun erupts-- PFFFT!
"Got him," my dad says. He saw a rat just milling about near the wood, but he didn't have a clear shot, so he wanted me to make some noise and drive him out into the open. The one shot my dad fired off didn't kill the Rat, though, and when I brought over the spotlight, I could see part of the Rat lying on his side, breathing heavily. My dad fired off another round and the breathing suddenly stopped. A wooden beam blocked my view, but I could see a pool of blood forming on the floor near the Rat's body. But Demon Rat, he was not.
We disposed of him (chucked him in the trash can), and when we checked on the Have a Heart trap near the dryer, we found a smaller rat inside- dead. Must have starved to death over the six day period. So much for having a Heart. After taking pictures of him too (For posterity, a record of the War's casualties) we disposed of him as well (more garbage fodder).
Since then, I have spied at least three more Rats in the basement. Demon Rat, what seems to be Mrs. Demon Rat, or another rat of equal size and stature, and Baby Rat, so dubbed because I've only seen him in the corner of my eye, but he appears to be smaller, and darker, much like the dead rat we found in the trap last month.
I've noticed a peculiar habit among the rats, and that is everytime I come down the stairs, I can expect to see a Rat shoot out from behind the washer and dryer, maneuver itself underneath all the many boxes that dominate the left side of the basement, and then head to the woodpile in the corner behind the furnace. Doing laundry is such a danger now, because I'm afraid I'll spook the Rat into running over my feet. So now I call my dogs over to that side of the basement, and even though a few boxes prevent them from coming close to me, I'm hoping they will scare away notions of escape in the minds of the Rats, and keep my feet Rat-free.
But Buddy and Burrito are wise to the Rat's trail. Tonight, while I was on a Recon mission, hoping to catch some Rat behavior in my scopes, Buddy and Burrito went wild, sniffing around the boxes, looking for the Rat's trail. They even tried getting under some of the stacks and hoped to find a way over to that side of the basement. They are dead-set on catching some rats too.
So now I wait. We've placed two more glue traps in strategic areas of the basement, but so far we've come up short. My dad has also bought Rat Poison, against my better judgment, but he swears that if the rats die in the crawlspace, he will personally crawl back there to retrieve the bodies.
That was last week. So far, none of the packets of Rat Poison have been disturbed. And since then, I have seen Demon Rat numerous times from my perch on the stairs. I know He has seen me too, but I think He disregards me as nothing more than a startling threat nowadays. But that's good. Because when He least expects it, when I buy a new camera to document my Victory, He will soon taste my vengeance. As will His children. Because I know He is breeding an army back there for the impending battles. But they'll pay. Soon enough, they'll all pay.
--Cbake
The Demon Rat War: Update #6
Three down, three to go. When we arrived home from our skiing trip back in December, my dad and I added two more rats to the "Deceased" list of our unwanted guests. After being gone from the house for five days, I was curious to see how the Rats had rearranged the basement, so downstairs was the first place I went when we got back home. Moments after I reached the bottom step, I heard a rustling in the corner.
The Demon Rat was coming out to face me.
I had only a split second to blab out "Ahhh! It's him- the Demon Rat- hurry hurry- he's running up the wood- he's coming- come on- hurry up- gaaah!" but it came out all jumbled and garbled because I was so surprised to see Him. He ran up the wood, and once he saw me, there was a milisecond of hesitation and he paused. I'm jumping up and down and screaming, but he presses on, runs in my direction up the wood, then hops up into the crawlspace. That bastard is fearless.
My dad says I should have brought the gun down with me, but I wasn't expecting to see Him so soon. So I go back upstairs and unpack. When I go back to the basement, I find my dad at the bottom of the steps, pellet gun in hand, crouched like a hunter who's spotted his prey. He signals me to be quiet, then points to the dryer. I understand the code, so I move quietly to the machine and turn it on. After a few seconds, the pellet gun erupts-- PFFFT!
"Got him," my dad says. He saw a rat just milling about near the wood, but he didn't have a clear shot, so he wanted me to make some noise and drive him out into the open. The one shot my dad fired off didn't kill the Rat, though, and when I brought over the spotlight, I could see part of the Rat lying on his side, breathing heavily. My dad fired off another round and the breathing suddenly stopped. A wooden beam blocked my view, but I could see a pool of blood forming on the floor near the Rat's body. But Demon Rat, he was not.
We disposed of him (chucked him in the trash can), and when we checked on the Have a Heart trap near the dryer, we found a smaller rat inside- dead. Must have starved to death over the six day period. So much for having a Heart. After taking pictures of him too (For posterity, a record of the War's casualties) we disposed of him as well (more garbage fodder).
Since then, I have spied at least three more Rats in the basement. Demon Rat, what seems to be Mrs. Demon Rat, or another rat of equal size and stature, and Baby Rat, so dubbed because I've only seen him in the corner of my eye, but he appears to be smaller, and darker, much like the dead rat we found in the trap last month.
I've noticed a peculiar habit among the rats, and that is everytime I come down the stairs, I can expect to see a Rat shoot out from behind the washer and dryer, maneuver itself underneath all the many boxes that dominate the left side of the basement, and then head to the woodpile in the corner behind the furnace. Doing laundry is such a danger now, because I'm afraid I'll spook the Rat into running over my feet. So now I call my dogs over to that side of the basement, and even though a few boxes prevent them from coming close to me, I'm hoping they will scare away notions of escape in the minds of the Rats, and keep my feet Rat-free.
But Buddy and Burrito are wise to the Rat's trail. Tonight, while I was on a Recon mission, hoping to catch some Rat behavior in my scopes, Buddy and Burrito went wild, sniffing around the boxes, looking for the Rat's trail. They even tried getting under some of the stacks and hoped to find a way over to that side of the basement. They are dead-set on catching some rats too.
So now I wait. We've placed two more glue traps in strategic areas of the basement, but so far we've come up short. My dad has also bought Rat Poison, against my better judgment, but he swears that if the rats die in the crawlspace, he will personally crawl back there to retrieve the bodies.
That was last week. So far, none of the packets of Rat Poison have been disturbed. And since then, I have seen Demon Rat numerous times from my perch on the stairs. I know He has seen me too, but I think He disregards me as nothing more than a startling threat nowadays. But that's good. Because when He least expects it, when I buy a new camera to document my Victory, He will soon taste my vengeance. As will His children. Because I know He is breeding an army back there for the impending battles. But they'll pay. Soon enough, they'll all pay.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 1:07 AM
2 comments
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
2005- The Year it All Changes
Lemme see a show of hands, who really (and I mean really) follows their New Year's Resolutions to the end?
"I resolve to stop smoking."
"I resolve to stop drinking."
"I resolve to focus more on my studies."
"I resolve to lose 17 pounds."
"I resolve to perfect my voodoo skills."
Give me a break, it's all bullocks. We all know just about everyone gives up by the third week. Come February and everyone's forgotten whatever promises they made themselves late in the last year.
People get excited about the New Year because it's like a new beginning, and in a sense, it literally is. People think that because it is a new year, you can be a new person. That through hard work and a little magic pixie dust sprinkled by the New Year's Baby on his way to sit next to Father Time, you can be a totally different person than you were a week ago. But no matter how hard we try, most of us end up reverting back to our old selves.
It's funny. Most of us fear change, we hate it. And yet everyone has something they wish they could change about themselves. And the New Year gives them hope.
"Ah, hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness. " We hope we'll be different. We hope to be better.
So we make resolutions, hoping this will prompt us further on our way to bettering ourselves. We get tired of our old self, the vices that person had, the idiosyncracies that annoyed him/her or others around them. I guess I find it fascinating that such a simple concept, a human-contructed idea of the passage of time within a "year", can make people that self-aware and create a desire for change. It's like you go a whole year thinking about what you don't like about yourself, but it's not until December 28th that you actually start considering what to do to change it all.
All that said, here are my "New Year's Resolutions", which no doubt will be forgotten in a month.
I resolve to write a third draft of my first script from last year.
I resolve to finish my second script that I started three months ago.
I resolve to finish my children's book and work on the illustrations.
I resolve to send that children's book to a literary agent.
I resolve to work on my animated cartoon.
I resolve to find a job and get off my butt.
I resolve to workout a little bit more, but that will take more work once the YMCA membership is cancelled by my father.
I resolve to not get as overweight as the Cbake below.
Let's hope it works.
--Cbake
"I resolve to stop smoking."
"I resolve to stop drinking."
"I resolve to focus more on my studies."
"I resolve to lose 17 pounds."
"I resolve to perfect my voodoo skills."
Give me a break, it's all bullocks. We all know just about everyone gives up by the third week. Come February and everyone's forgotten whatever promises they made themselves late in the last year.
People get excited about the New Year because it's like a new beginning, and in a sense, it literally is. People think that because it is a new year, you can be a new person. That through hard work and a little magic pixie dust sprinkled by the New Year's Baby on his way to sit next to Father Time, you can be a totally different person than you were a week ago. But no matter how hard we try, most of us end up reverting back to our old selves.
It's funny. Most of us fear change, we hate it. And yet everyone has something they wish they could change about themselves. And the New Year gives them hope.
"Ah, hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness. " We hope we'll be different. We hope to be better.
So we make resolutions, hoping this will prompt us further on our way to bettering ourselves. We get tired of our old self, the vices that person had, the idiosyncracies that annoyed him/her or others around them. I guess I find it fascinating that such a simple concept, a human-contructed idea of the passage of time within a "year", can make people that self-aware and create a desire for change. It's like you go a whole year thinking about what you don't like about yourself, but it's not until December 28th that you actually start considering what to do to change it all.
All that said, here are my "New Year's Resolutions", which no doubt will be forgotten in a month.
I resolve to write a third draft of my first script from last year.
I resolve to finish my second script that I started three months ago.
I resolve to finish my children's book and work on the illustrations.
I resolve to send that children's book to a literary agent.
I resolve to work on my animated cartoon.
I resolve to find a job and get off my butt.
I resolve to workout a little bit more, but that will take more work once the YMCA membership is cancelled by my father.
I resolve to not get as overweight as the Cbake below.
Let's hope it works.
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 7:42 PM
7 comments
Sunday, January 02, 2005
2004- The Best Year EVER!
Has VH1 made a special like that yet? After I Love the 70's, 80's, 90's, Last Week, Last Month, the Past 8 Hours... what's wrong with declaring 2004 the Best Year Ever? In the interest of boredom, while my cousins fight each other over rights to the Gameboy, I have prepared a 2004 "BEST OF" list, because that seems to be the fad around this time of year (actually, this would have been the fad two weeks ago).
BEST MOVIE - "The Incredibles"
BEST SONG - "Float On" by Modest Mouse
BEST NEW TV SHOW TO GET ADDICTED TO - "Lost"
BEST OLD TV SHOW TO GET ADDICTED TO - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
BEST DVD - "The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Extended Edition"
BEST MOVIE PREVIEW - "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"
BEST SPORTING EVENT - UNC beats Miami
BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME - the Doctor Octopus harness I made for my cousin
BEST ELECTION - U.S. Election
BEST GRADUATION - May 2004 graduation
BEST GRADUATION PRESENT - Volkswagon Jetta graduation present
BEST NEW CAR SMELL - crayon
BEST SNL GUEST - The Muppets (playing the Christmas song with Horatio Sanz in place of Fallon, Kattan, and Tracey Morgan)
BEST CITY TO LIVE IN - Chapel Hill (LA rocks and has stars aplenty, Charlotte has family and friends, but nothing beats the last few months of senior year in Chapel Hill)
BEST MOVIE THEATER - the Arclight in LA
BEST COMIC-BOOK MOVIE - "Spider-Man 2"
BEST PARTY - The going away cookout party at my house
BEST CEREAL - Apple Jacks
BEST STORE FOR TIME-WASTING - TIE: Barnes and Nobles or Borders bookstores
BEST PLANET - planet Earth
BEST CANYON - Grand Canyon
BEST WHOLE BALL - whole ball of wax
And now, for the dreaded "WORST LIST OF 2004".
WORST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE - "Catwoman"
WORST SONG I DIDN'T LISTEN TO - that really crappy one by that whiney singer with the weird name (Eamon or some crap like that)
WORST TV SHOW I DIDN'T WATCH - TIE: "Trading Spouses" and "WifeSwap"
WORST VILLAIN - TIE: Osama Bin Laden and Dracula
WORST LOGIC-DEFYING MOMENT IN A MOVIE - a carriage drawn by six or eight horses jumps over a chasm 50 feet wide in "Van Helsing"
WORST CELEBRITY OVERKILL - Paris Hilton
WORST WEDDING - Britney Spears' wedding
WORST BOOB JOB - Tara Reid's boob job
WORST DISASTER - the Tsunamis disaster
WORST DECISION BY MY FATHER - to cut off my internet and satellite tv
WORST DECISION BY ME - to stay unemployed for five months
WORST RAT INFESTATION - my Demon Rat infestation
--Cbake
BEST MOVIE - "The Incredibles"
BEST SONG - "Float On" by Modest Mouse
BEST NEW TV SHOW TO GET ADDICTED TO - "Lost"
BEST OLD TV SHOW TO GET ADDICTED TO - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
BEST DVD - "The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Extended Edition"
BEST MOVIE PREVIEW - "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"
BEST SPORTING EVENT - UNC beats Miami
BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME - the Doctor Octopus harness I made for my cousin
BEST ELECTION - U.S. Election
BEST GRADUATION - May 2004 graduation
BEST GRADUATION PRESENT - Volkswagon Jetta graduation present
BEST NEW CAR SMELL - crayon
BEST SNL GUEST - The Muppets (playing the Christmas song with Horatio Sanz in place of Fallon, Kattan, and Tracey Morgan)
BEST CITY TO LIVE IN - Chapel Hill (LA rocks and has stars aplenty, Charlotte has family and friends, but nothing beats the last few months of senior year in Chapel Hill)
BEST MOVIE THEATER - the Arclight in LA
BEST COMIC-BOOK MOVIE - "Spider-Man 2"
BEST PARTY - The going away cookout party at my house
BEST CEREAL - Apple Jacks
BEST STORE FOR TIME-WASTING - TIE: Barnes and Nobles or Borders bookstores
BEST PLANET - planet Earth
BEST CANYON - Grand Canyon
BEST WHOLE BALL - whole ball of wax
And now, for the dreaded "WORST LIST OF 2004".
WORST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE - "Catwoman"
WORST SONG I DIDN'T LISTEN TO - that really crappy one by that whiney singer with the weird name (Eamon or some crap like that)
WORST TV SHOW I DIDN'T WATCH - TIE: "Trading Spouses" and "WifeSwap"
WORST VILLAIN - TIE: Osama Bin Laden and Dracula
WORST LOGIC-DEFYING MOMENT IN A MOVIE - a carriage drawn by six or eight horses jumps over a chasm 50 feet wide in "Van Helsing"
WORST CELEBRITY OVERKILL - Paris Hilton
WORST WEDDING - Britney Spears' wedding
WORST BOOB JOB - Tara Reid's boob job
WORST DISASTER - the Tsunamis disaster
WORST DECISION BY MY FATHER - to cut off my internet and satellite tv
WORST DECISION BY ME - to stay unemployed for five months
WORST RAT INFESTATION - my Demon Rat infestation
--Cbake
posted by Cbake at 1:13 PM
0 comments
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